S E R E N I T Y:
Chris always knows how to distract me when I need to stay focused on a certain task at hand, which is getting him to the club without letting him know it’s for his surprise birthday party. He was suspicious about everything I did. He wanted to know why I was getting so dressed up to just go to a “graduation party,” and after the scene in the shower, it was getting harder and harder to focus on making my lies believable.
“Seriously though, all that make up is not necessary for a graduation party Ni-Ni. I wish you’d hurry up, I’m starving like Marvin out here man,” he said from the bedroom. I just ignored him and continued to put mascara on. I then got a text from Nima saying everything and everyone was in place and waiting on our arrival. I quickly threw on some lip gloss then made my way out of the bathroom.
“You do realize you’re not leaving my side tonight, right?” Chris said as I looked over myself in the full length mirror. I didn’t look half bad, I just had on a simple pair of jeans and shirt with my pumps..I didn’t go all out.
“What? I’m not even that dressed up,” I told him as I grabbed my purse and keys off of the dresser.
“You don’t have to be, you could go to the club in sweats and I’m pretty sure every nigga in there would still try to get with you, and I’m not having that,” he said as he followed me out to the car. I just shook my head as I started the engine and text Nima to tell her we were on our way.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to compliment me instead of all of that? You already know I’m not paying these other niggas any attention so they should be the last of your worries,” I told him as I pulled out into traffic. I couldn’t believe he was acting like this.
“Yeah, I hear you ma…I hear you. Alicia ain’t tell me nothing about this graduation party the few times I saw her around though.”
“Well Chris, maybe she wanted to keep it a surprise. I didn’t know until today, at the damn ceremony.”
“Oh. Well it’s a Friday night…everybody and their mama usually be outside the club..in line, waiting to get in. There’s no one out here and I know her VIP isn’t that deep,” he said as we pulled up to club Aurora. I noticed the balloons outside in Chris’ favorite colors, blue and black that adorned the arch of the door. He was still too stuck on stupid to see this was actually for him.
“Chris, just get out of the damn car..please and thank you,” I said as I grabbed my purse and made my way to the front door. While Chris took his sweet ass time getting out the car, I text Nima to let her know we were here, hoping it was enough time to get everyone in place. Chris finally made his way over to me and we made our way inside the club.
“What the fuck? Why is it so dark in here?” he said loudly.
“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!” a crowd full of people said once the lights were turned back on. I looked up at Chris’ face and saw two different reactions. One reaction was happy, and couldn’t wait to mingle with his friends and family. The other reaction was cold…like he hated every minute of this. He immediately left my side and went to talk to Mijo and Bow, leaving me like I didn’t exist.
“What’s up baby girl? Long time no see!” A very pregnant Amber Rose said as she pulled me into a hug. I shook off my thoughts about Chris and focused on mingling with my new friends as well.
“Hi Amber! I know, I know. I’ve missed you! How are you?” I asked her as we walked to the bar and sat down.
“I’m great and I’ve missed you as well. What’s up with your boy though? Are you guys okay?” I knew she was referring to Chris.
“Yeah girl, everything’s cool. Nothing to be worried about.” She just shook her head and looked down at my hand that was resting on my lap.
“You still have your ring so, I believe you…for now that is mama, You have my number though.” as soon as she got up, Nima, Macki, and Ashley raced towards me and trapped me in their hugs.
“Hey y’all! Nima, how on Earth did you get everyone here in VA for his birthday party? You rented out the whole club and everything, you even decorated it. How did you get all of this done in such a short amount of time?” I said as I looked around the club, taking note of all the personalized decorations of Chris.
“Girl, it was stressful but with Macki’s and Ashley’s help..it got done. Where yellow bone baby at though? I got an ice cream cake so we might want to sing happy-damn-birthday soon before it melts and shit,” she said.
“True. You guys go gather everyone around and I’ll go get him,” I told my sister and friends. They agreed and parted ways to do what I suggested. I then got up from the bar and made my way over to Chris, who was laughing and goofing off with Mijo, Bow, Wiz, and Tyga.
“Excuse me fellas,” I said as I interrupted whatever they were laughing over. “Can I steal my fiance` from you all for a quick second?”
“What up Ni-Ni? Go’on head girl, he was startin’ to a annoy a nigga anyway,” Tyga said jokingly while pushing Chris towards me.
“You good now? That look you gave me earlier has me thinking other wise,” I told him as we walked over to the stage together.
“Yeah, I’m good shawty. Thought I told you I didn’t want any parties though?” he said while biting his lip. He obviously wasn’t over what it was that had him upset.
“Chris, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ve done so much for me and I just wanted to do a little something for you…what’s the problem?”
“Nothing man, nothing.”
“Alright, Chris and Ni-Ni..yall come on up here,” Nima said through the mic as she waited for us on stage. Chris walked ahead of me, instead of with me. I wanted to snatch him back by the collar of his jacket but to save face in front of everyone…I let it go. It wasn’t long before the cake was brought out and everyone in the crowd starting singing happy birthday to Chris. With all of me, I hoped that bought a smile to his face.
“Thanks everyone. I love yall man…fo’real, that comes from the heart. Without yall, without my fiance`…I don’t know where I would be. So uh, it’s my 22nd birthday…let’s turn up!” he said as he motioned for me to come on stage and help him cut the first piece of his cake. The caterers then took over the job and I found myself in the middle of the crowd, dancing with Chris like he just wasn’t upset with me minutes ago.
“Yo Chris, your baby mama’s at the door,” Big Pat said as he interrupted our dance. Chris’ facial expression quickly went from smiling to scowling in seconds. I followed Chris and Big Pat back to the front door to see a swollen Tiffany, about 6 months pregnant..pacing back and forth.
“Tiff, I don’t think you were invited…the fuck you want?” Chris said as he closed the door behind us, so no one inside would hear the fiasco outside.
“I’m the mother of your child Chris, why wasn’t I invited? I called and text you, wishing you a Happy Birthday and I got no response. We haven’t talked in three months because you’ve been busy with lil miss thang over here. Nigga, I’m having your child, not her! And it’s a girl, just in case you were wondering,” she said as she threw the ultrasound CD at Chris then walked off down the street somewhere. I picked up the CD and put it in Chris’ hand. He was expressionless as he just shoved it down his pocket.
“I told you we were going to get your ass!” Someone yelled from a black truck the same time bullets sprayed the club, popping the balloons above our heads, barely missing us. Chris immediately opened the door to the club, pushing me down to the ground so he could cover me with his body. Big Pat unexpectedly pulled out his own gun and shot at the black truck that sped down the road. The inside of the club was a complete mess. No one was hurt but the damage those tiny bullet holes made was unbelievable, we were going to pay out the ass to fix all of this.
“Whoa, y’all good man?” Steve said as he raced towards us, his hand gripped on the back of his belt, where I knew he kept his gun.
“Fuck no, get everyone up out of here man. I’m going home bruh,” Chris said as he pulled me off of the ground and held me all the way to the car. He fished threw my purse to get the keys and his unstable hands finally found the ignition and started the car. I didn’t ask questions on the way home, I was too busy answering calls and text messages, making sure certain people got home and back to their hotel rooms safely. Thanks to Chris’ speeding, we got home relatively quickly. He came on my side of the car and opened the door, pulling me out and all the way into the house. When he let go of me, I had his finger prints around my wrist that I was sure would turn into a bruise by tomorrow morning.
“Fuck! This is why I told you I didn’t want a damn party!” he said as he threw the car keys across the table.
“What? That doesn’t even make sense. I know you’re not trying to blame this on me!” I snapped back at him.
“Yes! Nigga, it is your fault! I blame you! If you did as I asked, none of this would have ever even happened!”
“Chris, what-the-fuck-ever. I’m so over you tonight, go to sleep..on the couch I mean, and get back at me with all this shit in the morning,” I said as I stomped into the bedroom. He followed me. He grabbed me, aggressively, and pushed me up against the wall. I smelled the alcohol on his breath. He wasn’t himself, I saw a whole new person in his eyes. I was scared.
“Nigga let go of me! You’re hurting me Chris!” I said as tears started to sting my eyes.
“Nah, fuck that! These niggas have been calling my phone, texting me all damn week…telling me they were lurking and just waiting for me to slip up so they could attack. I told you I didn’t want a party because I knew if they got wind of it, they’d come through and fuck that shit up! Oh, and what happened? That’s exactly what the fuck they did!” He said as he pushed me away from him, I tripped and fell into the dresser, hitting my back against the corner of it. He paced the floor, running his hands through his curls. I was scared to move, scared to even breathe because I didn’t want to do anything that triggered him to do something I knew he was capable of.
“I saw what my life would have been like if one of those bullets would have hit you. I saw a life I didn’t want. I saw a life I refused to have…a life I was trying my best to avoid but…you just made it so easy for them,” he said as he walked towards me. I tensed up at his touch, I no longer knew what to expect.
“Ni-Ni, I’m sorry—” the sound of his phone vibrating cut him off. He went to answer it, putting it on speaker phone..I thought he knew who it was.
“Yeah nigga, you thought we were playing. I hope I made myself clear tonight. You got one more time to slip up and next time I won’t be so trigger happy, I’ll actually hit my target nigga,” I recognized that voice from the black truck.
“See, this shit is not a game Serenity!”
“Well, do you know who it is threatening you? I mean, we could always go to the police,” I said uneasily as I walked towards him.
“The police? Are you serious? Get the fuck out of here with that. The police don’t give a shit about a nigga like me. I’ll handle this shit on my own.” he said, pushing me again.
“Look Chris, there isn’t going to be too many times of you putting your hands on me like this,” I told him as I made my way to the kitchen to get ice for my bruises. I looked back and saw he had opened up a bottle of Ciroc, taking a swig of it before looking up at me. I rolled my eyes at him and fished through the freezer for an ice pack. I heard his foot steps behind me, I slowly turned around from the refrigerator. He looked me dead in the eye while taking another drink from his bottle.
“Give me this, you’ve had enough for one night,” I said as I took the bottle from him and walked over to the sink. He caught my hand and tried to take it from me but I held a good grip on it, I refused to let it go.
“I’m a grown ass man, I’ll drink what the fuck I want!” he said as he violently tried pulling the bottle out of my hand. I dropped the ice pack so I could put up a better fight with both hands. In a split second, the bottle flew out of my hand, hitting the floor and spilling everywhere. In that same second, I watched his hand as it seem to approach my face in slow motion…as he slapped me across my face. Tears instantly stung my eyes as the side of my face stung from his hand. I looked at him, as he stared back at me…like he didn’t realize what he just did. I marched into the bedroom, holding the side of my face as I packed a bag. I threw any and everything in that damn bag, I probably even packed some of his shit. I then grabbed my phone, my purse, and my keys. I walked back into the kitchen to find him in the same place I left him.
“Fuck you,” I said as I snatched my ring off of my finger and threw it at him. He still didn’t move, he just stood there as I walked towards the door. I took one last look at him before shaking my head and leaving the house…my house, our house. I got in my car and the tears fell instantly. I had flashbacks of the incident…how he was so cold and expressionless. Like, he wasn’t even here…physically, he was here but mentally…he was somewhere else. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What else is going to happen? All the questions I had absolutely no answer to.
S E R E N I T Y:
I decided it was best we just head back to the hotel after Chris broke down like that. I went back in the studio and confronted the concerned faces of Big Sean, Wiz Khalifa, and Amber Rose, telling them Chris didn’t feel well so it was best for us to go. They all looked like they didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth but Amber understood completely. She and I really hit it off while Chris was in the booth, putting in work. I felt bad for thinking the horrible things I thought about her thanks to the way the media portrays her but, she was really sweet and had great advice. She even gave me her number and took mine down so we could hang out some time or if I ever needed someone to talk to. I definitely didn’t expect her, or Big Sean and Wiz to be so nice to me. It’s probably only because of who I am to Chris, I’m pretty sure regular fans don’t get treated like this.
After a silent car ride, we were back at the hotel. Chris didn’t speak in the elevator and he didn’t speak once we were in our room. He locked himself in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes while I changed out of my dress, into something more comfortable. I didn’t want to annoy him with questions because I already knew who had caused the trouble, Tiffany…I just don’t know what she did yet. I decided to wait until Chris was ready to talk about it. After a while, whenever something is bugging him, it drives him crazy if he doesn’t let it out so, I know he’ll talk sooner or later.
As I was about to get comfortable on the couch and watch a movie, I heard a knock at the door. Chris didn’t open up the bathroom door to get it so I eased my way up, causing pain to my leg and limped to the door.
“Oh, hello Serenity. Is Chris here?” I couldn’t believe who was at the door. How did she even find our room, better yet…the hotel we’re at.
“Hi, Rihanna…yeah, he’s here. Can I help you with something?” I asked, trying to keep the fake ass smile glued on my lips, knowing damn well I wanted to slam the door in her face.
“Oh not really, just wanted to stop by and see what was up, I actually have nothing planned for today..for once, needed to get out of my hotel,” she said as she eased past me, into the living room, sitting down on the sofa. Chris finally came out of the bathroom, changed in basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and looked directly at her, rubbing his temple.
“What the fuck?!” he mumbled to himself, “Yo, Rih…what you doing here man? How did you even find me?” he said louder for her to hear.
“That’s quite a welcome Mr. Brown…but seriously, I have “people,” just like you have “people,” you know the management team can track anyone down,” she replied.
“Well that still doesn’t answer my first question…why are you here?” Rihanna got up, walked past me, and stood directly in front of him.
“I don’t know…I was bored in my hotel…the listening party isn’t until later and I actually have nothing better to do. I was hoping we can hang out?” She took it a step farther and wrapped her arms around his neck, Chris immediately moved out of her grasp.
“Nah man, I need you to bounce. I’ve had a rough day so far and I’d really just like to chill and enjoy the company of my fiance, if that’s not too much to ask for,” he told her.
“Fiance? Since when? You said today at the beach she was just your girl…didn’t you? Chris, you can’t be serious. I mean, really…look at her, then look at me…really?” Is she talking about me? I know this hoe is not talking about me?!
“Now wait just a minute bitch, yes…he’s very serious, here’s the ring to prove it,” I said as I flashed her my ring, limping towards her. “What I need you to do is —” before I could finish my sentence, Chris grabbed my arm, telling me to calm down and have a seat. I did as I was told, but if he know’s like I know…he’ll handle this shit before I do.
“See now, you crossed the line. Yes, she’s my fiance and the only one between you and Kae that has gotten ring, correct? Now, build a bridge and get the fuck over it and go back to where you came from,” Chris said as he went to the door and opened it for her, motioning for her to leave. She rolled her eyes at me before walking over to Chris, mushing his face, then leaving.
“Man Ni-Ni, I apologize ma. I’m sorry you have to deal with bullshit like that,” Chris said as he pulled me down on the sofa with him. I just curled up next to him and lay my head on his chest.
“That’s the least of my worries Brown. You ready to talk?” I asked him. He became stiff but shook his head in agreement. He turned towards me so we were eye to eye and took a deep breath.
“You know that moment I fucked up with Tiffany right?” he said, visibly hurting to revisit those thoughts again. I just shook my head yes so he could continue.
“Well, apparenlty she’s never been able to let me go. Even though she was with Kevin…she was still mentally with me. She used Grandma Susie’s death to her advantage..knowing I was just as vulnerable as she had been. She knew my dumb ass would fall in her trap. So before I got there..she told me she poked a tiny ass hole in the condom..thinking that if she was having my child..I’d get back with her. I think our breakup mentally damaged her..but the crazy thing is, she broke up with me. I mean..I don’t know how else to handle this,” he dropped his head in his hands. My initial instinct was to grab his phone and let Tiffany know what I’ve been yearning to tell her for a while now but I couldn’t blame this all on her. Chris knew what he was doing, the whole time he was doing it but…I’m over it now…we’re over it. I just wish everyone else would let us move on.
“You want full custody of the baby?” I asked him, without thinking about the question before it came out of my mouth.
“If that means losing you then—-“
“That’s not what I said nor what I asked Chris. Do you want full custody of the baby or did you just say that…in the heat of the moment?”
“I want full custody of my child…I no longer trust Tiffany to be in charge of another life when she’s barely in charge of her own. I just don’t know how it’s going to work out. I have 6 months left to figure it out.”
“You don’t have to do this alone. I’m you’re fiance now, right? That means whatever we go through…we go through it together, I’ll always be here for you Chris…and if that means helping you raise this child then…so be it.” I couldn’t believe what I was saying but I just knew I meant it. I never thought I’d be this close to having a family at almost 19 but…I love Chris and I’m not leaving his side for wanting to do right by his child.
“You are an amazing woman, you know that?” Chris said as he pulled me into his arms, laying back on the sofa.
“I know, I know, no need to tell me,” I joked with him. He kissed my cheek then turned me around so we were eye to eye.
“You still have 5 days left on your spring break…what do you say we hop on a plane tonight or tomorrow morning and head to my home out in Cali, get away from this crazy ass city,” he said.
“I don’t know, if I go to Cali…I might not want to come back,” I told him.
“Well you have to come back, at least to finish school. Then, if you really do love Cali that much…I don’t mind officially moving back out there. It’ll be a lot easier on me with recording this album and everything too.”
“I’ll let you know when that time comes. After I graduate…in 3 months, you think I can go back home…to Louisiana and visit my family?”
“Man, once you graduate ma…all you’ll be doing is hopping on the jet and flying wherever you want to go, whenever you want. We’ll be flying to Louisiana, Virginia, Cali, and wherever I’m touring at, all after you graduate. I specifically put off the release of the album until June 15th, so I had absolutely no where to be but your graduation. You ready for this life style Ni-Ni?”
“Not really…what other choice do I have though? I love you and this is the life you lead so…I’ll get use too it sooner or later, don’t worry about me.” The thought of having a private jet, living in California, and even having a step son or daughter before I’m 19 scares the hell out of me.
C H R I S B R O W N:
“Ni-Ni, will you wake your sleeping beauty ass up please?” I said loudly to Serenity as I parked the car in front of my California home. We spent last night packing and decided to leave early this morning, around 8 am. I was so happy to be here. It just felt like I had clean slate at trying to give Serenity the Spring Break vacation I’ve been trying to give her all along, but failing to do so. Yesterday was quite eventful and far from what should be happening on a vacation. Hopefully in Cali, she can just lay on the beach, party at the club with me, and just enjoy these next few days.
“Stop yelling Brown, I’m up,” she said as she rubbed her eyes and got out of the car. I was glad to see her walking freely without the crutches. The only reason she ever really needed them was because it hurt to bend her leg and walk where her stitches were..either way, seeing her without them made me happy.
“Man don’t worry about the bags, come on in girl,” I said as I stopped her from opening the trunk.
“Who’s going to get them out of the car then?” she asked sleepily, still not fully awake.
“Big Pat is,” once I said his name, her eyes lit up and he opened up the door right on cue, slowly walking out. I was happy to see Big Pat, even happier to hear from him when he called me last night, telling me he had got stitched up, stayed in the hospital for the day and then took his ass back to where he wanted to be, my home in Cali even though his family told him not to.
“Ni-Ni! What’s good ma?!” he said as he picked Serenity up in a bear hug. Once he let her back down on her feet, she assessed the damage. then brought his head down to her level so she could seal his stitches with kisses. I cleared my throat and they both rolled their eyes, I didn’t give a fuck though.
“Don’t you ever play me like that Breezy, come here boy!” he said as he picked me up in that same gay ass bear hug he gave Serenity.
“Man, you better go on somewhere ‘for you bust a stitch,” I joked as he put me down. He just laughed while flicking me off, putting an arm around Serenity’s shoulder than walking her in the house.
“Why the hell the house so dark Pat?” I asked as I flicked on the light.
“SURPRISE! CONGRATULATIONS CHRIS AND NI-NI!” I couldn’t believe my eyes. I also told Big Pat that Serenity and I got engaged on the phone last night, how the hell he threw a welcome home/congratulations party in a couple of hours is beyond me.
“Breezy! Congratulations y’all, from me and my little man King,” Mike said as he dapped me up. Chyna hugged me and gave me her congratulations but it didn’t take my attention off of my nephew. I basically had to beg Mike to let me hold King, it was my first time seeing him since he was born so I knew he was going to sit his over protective ass down somewhere and let me have this moment.
“Congratulations Chris and Serenity, Kae couldn’t make it but she told me to send her love along with mine,” Seiko said as she pulled Serenity in a hug first, then me. I looked over at Big Pat, wondering why he invited Kae and her lil sidekick. He just shook his head, like he didn’t have a clue as to why she was even here.
“Prince of VA! Who would have thought my nigga would be engaged, congratulations homie and the same to you Ms. Serenity,” Trigga said as he stepped forward, dapping me up and hugging Serenity.
“Now just have a daughter so Shai here can have someone I don’t mind her playing with and we’ll be straight. Ha, I’m just playing dog. Congratulations though Breezy, and nice finally meeting you Serenity,” Bow said as he shook hands with us, with the arm free of Shai.
“Wow, thanks everyone. Yall sure do know how to make a nigga feel welcomed,” I told them all. They burst into laughter and began to mingle amongst themselves while I handed King back over to Mike and sat down beside Serenity. She was smiling from ear to ear as she socialized with everyone, showing off that big ass rock on her finger. I decided to let her do her thing while I tried to figure out what Seiko was doing here.
“Yo Pat, let me holla at you for a second,” I said while motioning for him to lean in a little further so the whole party didn’t hear my conversation.
“Dawg, what the hell was Seiko doing here..talking about Kae couldn’t make it?” I asked him.
“I have no idea big homie, I don’t even know how they found out about it. Not unless they saw it on my twitter..but all I said was you were coming home today..I said nothing about a party. My tweets are protected anyway and she doesn’t follow me..I don’t know how it happened man. I just couldn’t kick her out though.” I listened to him and tried to make sense of the situation as best as I could before I was interrupted by Seiko herself.
“Hey Chris, congratulations again…really, I’m so happy for you,” she said as she hugged me again. I just grinned at her, studying her features to see if her expressions or body language gave way to anything.
“Thanks Seiko, where Kae at?” I asked her.
“She’s here, in Cali…she just had some modeling stuff and couldn’t make it.”
“Word, well thanks for coming by and showing love ma,” I said as I hugged her, trying to act like nothing was wrong with this picture. After she let me go, I headed back over to Ni-Ni, who has playing with Bow’s daughter, Shai..with Bow no where in sight.
“You’re a natural,” I told her, admiring the she held Shai. The smile she had on her face was priceless, for once..I think Serenity is truly happy.
“Thanks. You remember Kendall and Kylie, right? Those two hoodlums were my practice, I know what I’m doing now,” she told me.
“I see ma. You think you’ll ever want one of your own?” I asked her.
“Of course. As soon as I finish college, med school, and start my own practice then, sure. Until then, your son or daughter shall be quite enough.” I shook my head, hearing where she was coming from. I really do wish Serenity was pregnant with my child instead of Tiffany but..that’s not the way things work out. However, if I have to wait 10 years for Serenity to be ready to have my child, well..that’s how long I’ll wait then.
C H R I S B R O W N:
The doctor sent Serenity and I home with stitches in her leg and stitches in my chin. They want to keep Big Pat for a couple of days just to observe him. The rest of the night in the hotel room was even more quiet than the ride from the hospital. With the help of her crutches, she simply walked through the door, took a shower, and headed to the bedroom. Before I realized it, she moved a pillow from my side of the bed and put it next to me on the couch, leaving me to call for a blanket from room service.
”Serenity, can you just talk to me..please, ma? You can yell at me, curse me the hell out, or something…I just need to hear your voice I guess,” I said as I sat down next to her on the bed. She just rolled her eyes at me and ran her hand through her hair, something she always did when she’s irritated or pissed of with me.
“Chris…I don’t have anything to say to you. Now, thanks to the pain medicine I’m drugged up on, I’d appreciate it if you made your way back to the couch so I can go to sleep,” she said while sliding to the top of the bed, laying down on her back. I wasn’t taking “no” for an answer, if things go my way…she’ll be doing more than talking, more like screaming my name to the top of her lungs.
I climbed to the top of the bed where she was and held her in my arms while playing with her hair and to my surprise, she didn’t protest it. I went a step further and kissed her neck…which soon led to sucking and she didn’t protest that either. It was clear that she was more than ready for what I was about to give her next. I moved down to the foot of the bed, careful not to disturb her stitched up leg that was elevated on a pillow. I then took my hand and tugged at her shorts, her eyes giving me permission to go even further. Within seconds, her shorts were off and her panties were by her ankles. The only thought that lingered in my head, was to make sure I made love to her better and more meaningful than Delano did and I did to Tiffany. The fact that she even let me get this far, surprised me and I wasn’t going to take advantage of her.
After teasing her by kissing the inside of her thigh, I finally turned up full throttle and kissed her center. The arch she quickly threw in her back told me no matter what Delano did, he didn’t make her feel like this. She dug her left hand into the sheets while her right hand tugged at my curls, pushing me deeper. About what seemed like 10 minutes later, I figured she had enough by the way her legs grew weak and limp, already paralyzed. I took that as my shot to take the next step. I reached into my pocket where I’ve made a habit of keeping protection since I was 16 and strapped it on. Instead of continuing, I first kissed her lips and thought I’d ask for permission to go further.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ma, I don’t mind waiting for you” I whispered in her ear.
“Shh, it’s okay,” she said as she held a finger to my lips. I kissed her once again as she gasped against my lips once I was in. Not wanting to hurt her, I took it slow. That is, until she begged me to work faster and at that point, I was in my zone. It was my first time making love to her, and I planned on making it something she’d never forget.
The next morning she woke up quite stiff, even if she didn’t want to let me know it…but in a better mood altogether. I’ll be honest, in the past…my way of getting out of shit I’ve brought on myself in my other relationships, was to fuck the shit out of her until she forgot what she was even angry about. That’s not the case this time though, I plan to get her to sit down and talk with me about what made her so upset and how we can work on it.
“Aye babe, I know you can’t get in the water but grab a nice dress or something and we’ll go walk the beach while it’s not so crowded,” I yelled in the bathroom so she could hear me. Less than 10 seconds later she walked out in a long, strapless, light blue dress with her hair flowing past her bare shoulders and her make up matching perfectly.
“When will you realize I’m always 10 steps ahead of you Maurice?” she said as she limped into the kitchen and found herself a banana.
“Is that right? From the looks of last night, I think I was clearly 20 steps ahead of you Elizabeth,” I said before smacking her ass then running to the bathroom. I went ahead and text Nima to tell her to meet us at the beach since she ask to come and she text me back assuring me she’d be there before we got there.
“Chris don’t take forever, it’s just the beach…you can leave all the gold and diamonds here,” Serenity said through the door. I just ignored her, I don’t know why all of my jewelry “scares” her or makes her so..hesitant with me, I’ve never understood it.
“Man, I’ll be ready in a minute..shut all that shit up,” I teased back at her. I hurried up and showered, brushed my teeth and hair, dressed, and put on cologne. With Serenity’s wishes, I only put on my double bone chain and my g-shock watch that complemented my camo cargo shorts and solid white polo t-shirt, nothing over the top.
“Finally, you look nice babe…let’s go,” Serenity said as she grabbed only one of the crutches and led the way out of the hotel room. For some reason, I have this weird obsession with trying to be normal so I took the risk and told Steve he could chill today, instead of following me around on the beach all day. I know he’s probably with Big Pat at the hospital, he took the events of yesterday pretty hard…if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m paying him, he probably would have boarded a plane and left my ass out to dry…he can’t stand me right now and I honestly understand why.
“Oh and Macki said she doesn’t want to go to beach, she hates the sand but she said to pick her up if we plan on going anywhere else,” she told me as we got onto the elevator.
“Alright ma, tell her to be ready around 2:30 and I’ll go back and scoop her, a nigga has reservations so she can’t be ready at 2:31, or 2:32…I need her ready at 2:30.”
“Relax Brown, she’ll be ready…come on now.”
Without being totally recognized, we were able to leave the hotel and get to the beach in a matter of minutes, like Nima had promised…she was there, waiting on us.
“Nima! What’s up baby girl?” I said while meeting her with a hug. After I released her, she rolled her eyes at me then diverted her attention to Ni-Ni, hugging her then assessing the damage on her leg and my chin.
“Don’t “baby girl” me Chris, I should kick yo’ lil yellow ass for that shit you pulled at the club. I get up early this morning and see your face and Drake’s plastered all over my damn TV, and you have the nerve to bring yo’ ass out of the hotel. I swear I don’t get you nigga,” she said as she sat down at the bar and actually ordered a drink at 11:27 am.
“Man, hush all that up. You know they’re about to pin this all on me, like I was the only nigga throwing bottles in that club. It’s all good though, I’ll take whatever charge they’re going to give later but as of now, I came to chill with my girl and my best friend at the beach, you think you can try to relax and shut the hell up for a minute?” I told her as a fan tapped me on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and felt like running all the way back to the hotel once I saw who it was.
“Hey Chris, how are you?” she asked as she hugged me around my neck. I looked back and saw she had two body guards with her, but they weren’t necessarily following her…if I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t have assumed they were with her.
“Yo, I’m good ma…how are you?” I asked, trying to be polite..knowing whole-heartedly, I didn’t want to be polite.
“I’m fine. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” she asked as she eyed Serenity and Nima up and down. I shook my head but played along and walked over to Serenity, holding her by her waist.
“Serenity, this is Robyn…Robyn, this is Serenity..not that you need an introduction,” I said. Serenity quickly put on a fake smile and held her hand out to shake Robyn’s but I knew she hated every moment of this deep down inside.
“Hi sweetie, you can call me Rih…I hate the name Robyn, and Chris should know that by now,” she said while pulling Serenity in a hug. I took off my hat and ran my hand through my curls, I can’t believe she’s pulling a stunt like this. Well actually…it’s Rihanna…I can believe it.
“Hello Nima, how are you?” she said after releasing Serenity. Nima just nodded in her direction, she couldn’t stand her, for various reasons I don’t think I’m even aware of.
“Well Chris, how’s Big Pat holding up?” she asked.
“He’s good, I’ll tell him you asked about him.”
“Okay, well look…I’m having a listening party tonight, I’ll text you with all of the information if you’re interested in coming.”
“Nah, I’m pretty busy today…hanging out with my baby and my best friend. Good luck with that though, I hope it’s successful. Now, we have lunch reservations we have to attend to, I’ll see you around, okay?” I told her as I got Serenity’s crutch for her and helped her as we tried to make our way through the sand again. “Oh, and tell Drake I said what’s up!” I turned around and yelled back at Rih, it was childish of me but I didn’t give a damn.
“Yellowbone baby, turn back around and come on here, always fucking with people,” Nima yelled as she pulled me by my arm. I pulled away from her and decided to take Nima and Serenity to the boardwalk, so we could spend some time at least…next to the beach. I knew I couldn’t stay where Rih was, I would be forced to do some stupid, taunting shit to her that I knew would only cause trouble.
S E R E N I T Y: 2 Weeks Later
After a lot of talking and persuading, my parents finally agreed to let me move to Virginia with Chris. They realized that Louisiana is just way too small and the situation would only get worse before it got better. Mackenzie is still having a hard time dealing with it but Chris promised he would fly her out any time she wanted to come. Ashley isn’t taking it so well either, she claims by her “good luck charm” being miles away, every modeling photo shoot or fashion show audition doesn’t turn out the way it would if I was there. Before agreeing to even move, I tossed and turned trying to make this decision, taking all of that into account. Then, I realized I have to do what’s best for me and if they love me, they’d understand and be happy that I’m finally at peace in my surroundings.
The first week after I was released from the hospital, I stayed with Mama Joyce while Chris got our apartment set up. He claims it’s strictly “my” apartment but I find him sleeping over every night after I moved in on Sunday. I now attend the same school Austin attends here in Richmond and I completely love it. I only have two classes because of me being so much more advanced in Louisiana from early bird and night school classes. I’m finishing AP calculus and psychology, which are two amazing classes. Actually, Richmond VA is pretty amazing all by itself. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m in a new place and everything feels and seems so new to me, or because this is just the way things go in Virginia. Since I’ve been here, I’ve made quite a few friends and associates. Everyone at school is so friendly and display much more “Southern Hospitality” than the kids in Louisiana ever did with me. Another good thing about living here is the fact that Chris isn’t that “big of a deal” here. I mean, he still has pretty hardcore fans but almost everyone here has met him before. I found it refreshing for these people to know I’m his girl friend and not make any judgements or treat me any differently. I love it here, I really do.
“Aye babe, come here for a second,” Chris yelled from the living room. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling before getting out of bed. It’s Friday night and all I want to do is sleep. I’ve stayed up long enough already just doing homework so I wouldn’t have to do it during Spring Break.
“What do you want Christopher?” I said as I came into the living room. His eyes were bloodshot red as he stared intently into his computer screen.
“What do you think about New York for your Spring Break trip?” he asked as he lowered me down onto his lap at the computer desk. A while ago, I would have gotten right back up but after losing 40 pounds within a 4 month radius, I no longer worry about stuff like that.
“I love this hotel ma, I stay here almost every time I’m in New York. I know you’ll like it too,” he said as he pulled up a beautiful 5-star hotel and showed me pictures of the beach that was nearby, we’d have an oceanfront view.
“Oh my gosh, of course! I’d love to go to New York! I could use the beach right about now,” I told him. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved the beach. It helps calm and soothe me, it helps to clear my head. Just looking at a picture of the beach can have the same effect.
“Well then, it’s settled. Go pack your bags baby girl, we leave tomorrow around 3:00 pm. You don’t have to worry about packing a lot of stuff, you know you’re probably going to get a new wardrobe out there anyway,” he said as he kissed my cheek then cut the computer off. He then held my hand and led the way upstairs. Instead of packing like we both should have done, we fell into bed. Like he’s done for the past two weeks, he wrapped me in his arms as I lay my head on his chest, it was the beginning of a beautiful routine.
“Can we fly Macki out to New York?” I asked Chris as I watched him doze off, I decided to interrupt his sleep just like he did mine.
“She already knows and has a ticket, she leaves tomorrow at the same time. Now, carry yo’ ass to bed Elizabeth, we have a long day ahead of us. Good night ma, I love you,” he said as he used a finger to lift my chin so were face to face. He then sealed our night routine with a kiss.
“I love you too Maurice,” I told him before drifting off to sleep.
The next day, Chris and I got up at about 11:30 am to do a little packing then head to his mom’s house so she could drop us off at the airport. I’ve never been so happy to dress in sweats and a hoodie than I was today because the airport was extremely crowded due to everyone traveling for Spring Break. I saw a few friends from school there but for Chris’ sake, I decided to lay low. No one recognized Chris until he made the fatal mistake of taking off his snapback and everyone caught a glimpse of his curly, blonde hair. Even then, it wasn’t totally unbearable to deal with. The fans that recognized him were really sweet and didn’t make a big scene or cause any extra or unwanted attention to him after he signed autographs and took pictures discreetly.
“Are the fans going to be as nice as those little girls were?” I asked Chris as we got off of the plane and stepped onto the grounds of New York City.
“Nah, not at all. That’s the only reason Big Pat and Steve are here,” he said as he nodded at Big Pat once we made his way over to us.
“Ms. Serenity, looking good girl,” Big Pat said as he swooped me up into a hug. I heard Chris clear his throat which caused Big Pat to quickly sat me back down on my feet.
“Chris, relax yo blonde head ass before I drop kick you nigga. You know I don’t play that,” Big Pat said as he picked up our bags then headed to the all black Range Rover that waited for us in an unoccupied parking lot.
“Yo Serenitaaaaaayyyy! What’s good girl?” Steve’s country ass said as I got in the car. He can’t pronounce my name correctly for the life of him.
“Nothing much, what y’all been up to with all of this time off?” I asked them as I buckled my seatbelt then swung my legs over Chris’. Thanks to that long plane ride, my legs were killing me. With Chris having the tendancy to be a complete asshole, I thought he was just going to push my legs off of him but instead he started to massage them. I had to make a mental note of that, how he’s been going the extra mile to show he’s not the same guy as before.
“Man, just because we ain’t with Chris doesn’t mean a nigga isn’t working. I still do other side jobs, a nigga got to eat, right?” Steve said. I just shook my head, agreeing with him. I wasn’t in the mood to talk anymore, jetlag was starting to hit me.
“Aye Pat, head to the salon so Serenity can get her hair done and then swing by the hotel so I can drop the bags off before we go pick up Macki,” Chris said.
“Wait, what? What salon? Why can’t I go with you guys to Get Macki?” I asked him.
“Relax, I already made your appointment and these upscale ass salons hate it when you cancel on them. So, go in there and get one of them $600 weaves or whatever you want and I’ll be back in an hour, hopefully with Macki,” he said as we pulled up to the salon. He handed me his credit card the leaned over to kiss me. I’m definitely not use to this lifestyle, I’m not use to being able to travel whenever I wanted to, or splurge hundreds of dollars on my hair whenever I wanted to. Compared to others, I consider my family wealthier than others but it still doesn’t compare to this. As crazy as it may seem, I don’t think I’m ready to lead a life like this.
C H R I S B R O W N:
After Big Pat and I dropped the bags off at the hotel, we raced back to the airport to pick up Macki. She kept blowing my cell, telling me she was bored and for me to hurry my ass up, and like a dumb ass, I acutally picked up my speed. Once we got to the airport, Big Pat went inside, holding a big, white poster that read “Macki, bring yo ass on” in bold, black lettering. I would have done it myself just so I could see the look on her face but I’ve had enough of the airport paparrazzi for today. Five minutes later, Big Pat emerged from the building with a pouting Mackenzie at his side. I fell over laughing at her face, I knew that poster was going to irritate the shit out of her.
“Why did you let this nigga come in there with a poster like that? After I walked over to him, everyone knew I was Macki and laughed at the sign, people even took pictures of it. Ugh, do you ever think Christopher?” she said as she slammed my door shut.
”Aye, chill out girl. It was just a joke. You keep playing and you’ll be at the beach and the club later on today looking a hot ass mess. Or, you can calm the hell down and I’ll take where Ni-Ni is to go and get one of those expensive ass weaves,” I told her as I tried to catch my breath from laughing.
“Whatever Chris, you get on my damn nerves,” she said as she directed her attention to her phone. I did the same and noticed I had two missed calls from Tyga. This nigga never calls me, especially not back to back…so something is up and I quickly pressed the call button to hit him back.
“Yo Mike, what’s up man?” I asked him as he answered the phone. I heard a lot of commotion in the background and instantly thought he was in some sort of trouble.
“Chris! Chyna, Chyna, Ch-Ch-Chyna just had my son! I’m a dad Breezy! I’m holding him right now! Man, you don’t know how good this feels right now. He looks just like me!” he screamed into the phone. I was hoping his son was awake, if he wasn’t…the amount of crying Tyga was about to endure by waking him up would be enough to make anyone scream.
“Congratulations Tyga-Tyg! What yall name him?” I asked.
“King Cairo Stevenson my nigga!” he yelled back at me. I couldn’t help but laugh, he’s never been this happy about anything…ever.
“You just had to use Last Kings as a reference for my nephew’s name, huh?”
“Hell yeah, that album was a fucking success…just like my child will be when he’s older. Enough about me though, how’s Serenity?” I consider Mike my brother, therefore…I tell him everything, including what happened with Ni-Ni and the bullshit Tiff keeps pulling.
“She’s good man. She loves it in VA, I’ve never seen her so happy,” I told him.
“That’s good, tell her I asked about her. Now, what’s going on with Tiff…is she having your child..or what nigga?”
“That’s what she says man. Honestly, I feel like it’s a bunch of lies though. I don’t remember the condom ripping or tearing that night…so I really don’t feel like this kid is mine, it’s Kevin’s.”
“Now Breezy, we both grown ass men, right?”
“Then you know damn well that’s a dumb-ass, high school ass excuse to not claim your seed bruh. I paid attention in sex education class and if you did too, you’d know that—-I’m not going to even go into detail about that BUT, you know condoms aren’t 100% semen proof. You knew what you were signing up for before you did it my nigga.” Fuck! He’s right, he’s always right.
“Aight man, I feel you. I know you and Chyna moving back to California with lil’ man soon, I’ll come visit when yall get straight. I’m ready to go kick it with Trigga in minute though, I’ll hit you back later,” I said before I hung up the phone and shoved it in my pocket.
“Trigga? You mean Trey Songz? Let me go with you!” Mackenzie said as we pulled up to the salon, I looked through the window and saw Serenity in the chair, no where near finished.
“Macki hop yo’ ass up out this car and go get that wig smoked girl,” I said as I reached over her and popped her door open. She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue like we were in elementary school again before getting out of the car. I shook my head and quickly changed places with Big Pat so I could swing over to Trigga’s hotel room. Once I tweeted about being in New York, he asked could we link up and I was down. Trey has always been my nigga, just seems like I hang with more rappers than I do with singers, like myself…nothing against him though.
I was thankful for security being all over the place thanks to fans hearing about Trey’s stay at the hotel. I was able to be escorted to his room without a single soul seeing or recognizing me, life is good.
”Breezy! The Prince of VA himself! What’s hannin’ baby?” Trey said as he opened the door and dapped me up.
“Haha, that’s you man but nothing really, out here grinding…the ususal. What’s popping with you?” I asked as I sat down on the sofa. I noticed he had a bottle of Ciroc and blunt sitting on the table, this nigga was in here having a party by himself.
“Nothing, at all man. Just working on this new album, you heard the single, right?” he asked as he took a sip from the Ciroc bottle, then lit the blunt. He passed the blunt over to me but I declined, a nigga not trying to go to jail behind a failed piss test.
“Yeah, shit is smooth bruh. What you trying to do with the video?” I asked him.
“That’s where I need your help man. I’ve seen the Slight Work video and it’s genius. I need you to produce my video. You can have full range of it, let your creative juices flow my nigga. There’s only one thing that has to be permenant through out the video.”
“And what’s that Trigga?”
“Kelly, Kelly Rowland has to play the leading lady.”
“Kelly? Kelly from Destiny’s Child? Bruh, what’s with you and Kelly? Why aren’t yall together already?”
“She on some other shit. She claims I’m too young, she’s only 4 years older though. It’s pure bullshit but trust and believe, a nigga is not giving up!” he took another chug of the Ciroc and stood up, unsteadily. I looked at my watch and knew it was time for me to bounce too. It’s 7:00 pm already and Serenity and Macki still need to go find dresses for tonight.
“Aight man, we can talk business a little later, tonight…we popping bottles!” I said as I dapped him up once again before leaving. As security escorted me back to my car, I called Serenity.
“Boo, you and Macki done yet?” I asked her as I pulled out of the parking lot, Big Pat and Steve eyeing me at the way I called Serenity “boo,” not too sure I give a fuck though.
“We’re almost done, well I’m done…Macki should be finishing up soon,” she said.
“Alright, well I’m on my way over there. See you in a few beautiful,” I told her before hanging up.
“Man, don’t ever call Serenity and speak all that lovey-dovey ass shit while I’m around, I almost threw up,” Steve said from the back seat. I noticed he didn’t have his seatbelt on so I pressed hard on the gas and swung the car into a right turn. This nigga literally flew to the other side of the car, I was pleased with myself.
“Now, just sit back there and shut the hell up,” I told him as I looked at him through the rearview mirror. He flipped me a bird before settling in and buckling his seat belt. Big Pat and I laughed for a good 5 minutes until I pulled up to the hair salon. Big Pat got out first and then made his way to my side, shielding me from the few girls that I’m almost positive would have went crazy if they could see me. I looked back and laughed at Steve, his salty ass stayed in the car.
I knocked on the door and waited for Nima to open it. Nima is the owner of the salon and one of my good friends. We don’t talk as often as we use to because we both are always so busy but I know that if I ever need anything, I can go to her and vice versa.
“Yellow-bone baby! How are you!” Nima said as she opened the door and hugged me. I rolled my eyes at her childhood nickname for me, mainly because she’s almost two shades lighter than I am.
“I’m cool Nima, how are you? Doing it big I see, business is going good I’m guessing?” I said as I sat down in the chair beside her station. Once Nima told me she wanted to be this upscale, hollywood, celebrity hair stylist, I went ahead and paid for the salon and helped her out with anything else. I don’t normally do it, but because I knew how bad she was willing to work, I didn’t mind helping.
“Yes, business is going well Christopher. I see things are going well for you too. Baby girl in the back told me all about you, she’s sweet and couldn’t stop smiling as she talked about you. She’s a keeper my little love muffin, she really is and you bet not fuck it up,” Nima said as she threw the clip she had in Macki’s hair at me. I threw it at Macki, just to piss her off.
“Hey now Yellow-bone, don’t fuck with my customers!” she said. I just ignored her as I saw Serenity emerge from the bathroom. She looked beautiful, her hair was long enough on it’s own so I was glad she didn’t get a lot of that weave shit put in, it looked naturally curly and fit her face perfectly.
“Hey baby girl, you look beautiful and as soon as Macki is done we can go and get you both dresses and shoes for tonight,” I told her as I wrapped her in my arms and lowered her down on my lap.
“What about the beach Chris? I thought that’s mostly what we came here for?” she asked, poking out her bottom lip, hitting me with that damn puppy dog pout.
“Tomorrow is your day Serenity, we’ll do whatever your little heart desires, I promise babe,” I told her.
“I hope that heart desires bringing Nima with yall! After today, I’m on Spring Break too!” Nima said as she took the cape looking thing off of Macki. I had to give it to her, Nima is talented.
“We’ll see about that. Here, ” I said as I got my credit card from Serenity and gave it to Nima. I looked down at Serenity’s hands, then Macki’s and noticed they both got their nails done but Nima only charged me for the hair. I hated when she did that, I know we’re like family and everything but I’m the last person she should be worrying about giving a discount.
“Alright, thanks babies. Come back and see me soon,” she said as she hugged Serenity and Macki. They both agreed then walked out of the door. I took a smaller stack of about $500 out of my pocket and placed it in her apron.
“Chris, I don’t need thi—”
“Nima shut the hell up and take it, I’ll call you tomorrow and see what we can set up for the beach. Until then though, be breezy!” I said as I hugged her then quickly ran out and into the car, thankful no one recognized me.
“Serenity, Macki…can yall bring yall asses on! I’d like to get to the club today, not tomorrow,” I yelled in the bathroom. They already had their dresses on, they were just putting on makeup now, which seemed like it was taking hours.
“Calm ya tits Breezy, we’re ready,” Macki said as she pushed past me and out of the bathroom. She looked like a whole new person, it may be because I’ve never seen Macki out of sweats and UGGS but either way, she looked nice. Serenity was next to exit to the bathroom and she almost made me choke on the damn mint I just placed in my mouth. In my opinion, she looked better than Beyonce, Kim K, Kelly Rowland, Nicki Minaj, Kae, and Rih. I couldn’t believe the girl standing in front of me was mine.
“How do I look?” she asked as she turned around slowly.
“Let’s just say you can’t leave my side tonight, not looking as fine as you do. Every nigga gon’ be at you and I can’t have that,” I told her as I got her coat then lead everyone out to the hotel room with Big Pat and Steve waiting.
Minutes later we pulled up to the club and the flashes of cameras immediately showered over me and the rest of my party. I think Serenity became use to it but Macki…not so much, she tried hiding behind Steve all the way into the club. As we entered the VIP room, I saw Trigga and a couple of my other niggas. I decided to go and introduce Serenity and Macki, since Macki was so interested in meeting him anyway.
“Trey, I’d like you to meet my girl Serenity, and her friend Mackenzie,” I said as I pushed Macki more so in front so she was inches away from Trey. She avoided freaking out and screaming by cuffing a hand over her mouth. Trey slowly removed it and swooped her up in a hug before shaking hands with Ni-Ni like a real nigga should. He’s the only one that has respected me enough to keep their distance from MY girl.
“Nice to meet you both. This here is my homie Meek Mill and right there is my lil dude Kevin Hart,” Trey said as he pointed to the people I already knew, the introduction was more so for Serenity and Macki.
“Y’all are more than welcome to stay in the VIP with us, we only have a few others coming so we just chilling for now,” Meek said as he ordered two bottles of Ciroc over to the table. I excused myself from them and made my way over to the bathroom with Big Pat, Ni-Ni and Macki took up all the time in the bathroom at the hotel and I totally forgot I had to piss.
As I made my way to the bathroom, I heard someone calling my name continuously. I tried ignoring it so I could get to the bathroom but it became annoying so I just turned around and looked over Big Pat to see this fruity ass nigga calling me. At one point, Drake was my nigga…it wasn’t until after that fool started fucking with Rih that I couldn’t associate myself with him anymore.
“Breezy, what’s up man?” he said as he finally caught up to me and held his hand out for me to dap him up. I just looked at it, like it was a foreign object or something.
“Nigga, what the hell you want?” I asked without looking at him.
“I see your new girl over there, she’s cute as a button. You should introduce her to me, not that it matters…I could still take her the same way I took Rih.” Big Pat stepped in front of me as soon as he saw my fist ball up. This nigga was brave, I can’t believe he actually tried that. Big Pat just spun me around and pushed me into the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, took a piss then came out, thanking God Drake was no longer around, if he was…I would have definitely done some shit I’d regret.
“You okay baby?” Serenity asked as I got back to the VIP section. I just shook my head and poured me a cup of whatever Macki was drinking on. They carded her and Serenity before we got in but no one keeps track of the underaged in the VIP section so Macki was already having a good time.
“Yeah, I’m good ma, you having a good time?” I asked her. She shook her head then pulled me up so I could dance with her. I then saw a waitress walk past and without thinking, I did something I probably would have been better off not doing. I called the waitress over and told her to take a bottle of Nuvo to Drake’s table with a note on the back of a receipt I told her to give him. : “Here’s a bottle on me, drink up my nigga…it must be hard coming in second all of the time. Couldn’t have Nicki until she probably stopped fucking with Wayne, and you couldn’t have Rih until she stopped fucking with me.”
I don’t know why I did it. I could have sworn I was done with stooping down to these nigga’s levels but I couldn’t let this Canadian ass nigga play me like that.
“Who did you send that to?” Serenity asked me while I tried putting my mind back on her and having a good time.
“Just an old friend I ran into. You want anything to drink? No alcohol, you need to tell Macki over there to slow up too,” I told her as I looked at Macki, she was already slump, talking to Trigga, probably annoying the hell out of him.
“Yo Breezy!” I heard someone yell, no sooner than I turned around to see who it was, I saw a bottle go flying through the air and as it hit the ground, it scattered all over the club, making a loud noise. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but seconds later, another bottle was thrown, this one hitting ground then bouncing glass fragments up, cutting my chin. I pushed Serenity over to Macki who was now under Steve without thinking. I picked up an empty bottle from my table and looked out into the crowd, seeing that nigga Drake trying to sneak to the bathroom. I bet he was the one that threw the first bottle, so I threw my bottle up in the air…he saw it coming and dodged it..letting it crash on the floor.
By that point, the crowd was going crazy…people were trying to leave while other people were joining in on the bottle throwing. I didn’t even blink good enough before another bottle came cascading my way. Big Pat pushed his way in front of me, taking me down to the ground while the bottle hit him. All I saw was blood on his white shirt, I couldn’t see where it was coming from but I knew we both were probably cut. Another bottle flew and I heard a scream coming from my VIP section, I looked over and saw Steve holding a towel to Serenity’s leg. Once I saw him turn the towel over and blood had completely saturated it, I lost it. I came from up under Big Pat’s grasp and started throwing everything, empty bottles, half empty bottles, full bottles..everything. I no longer saw Drake but I saw niggas from his party, they kept throwing bottles along with everyone else in the club.
“Breezy, we have to go man,” Big Pat said, I noticed his words were slurred and I finally took the time to look at him. His face was drenched in blood that looked like it came from his head…I took a closer look and saw he was pretty much sliced all around his head, I could peel back his scalp if I wanted to. That’s when I realized he was losing a lot of blood. I took off my shirt and tied it around his head as best as I could, trying to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding as I held him steady while we walked through this war zone. I then raced over to Serenity, Steve was able to pick her up and carry her out of the club while Trigga helped get Macki to the car. The paparrazzi didn’t let up, even though they could clearly see people were hurt so I pushed my way through, trying to get everyone to the car so I could get to the hospital. I couldn’t wait for an ambulance to get here, he’d never be treated because they’d never get here in time.
“What the hell were you thinking man?” Steve yelled from the back seat. I don’t know, I honestly don’t know what was going through my head at the time.
C H R I S B R O W N:
My nerves got the best of me and I ended up taking the jet instead of being semi-normal and flying first class, in a regular airplane. My mind kept telling me Serenity could be in a worse state and condition than what Macki told me. Now, I find myself racing up and down the hospital hallways, trying to find her. People looked at me like I was crazy, half of them not recognizing me while the other half couldn’t care less about “Chris Brown” at the moment and I’m not complaining either.
“Chris, she’s in here!” I heard Macki scream as I ran pass the room she walked out of. I hung my head while catching my breath, trying to brace myself for what was next.
“You got here quickly,” Macki said as she pulled me in a hug.
“I took the jet, don’t judge me though,” I told her as I looked into Serenity’s hospital room from the window, trying to see my baby but I had no luck.
“Too late. Look, Ni-Ni’s parents will be back in the morning, so will I after I get my little brother on the bus for school. Can you stay with her until then?” she asked me while looking down at the on her phone, it was almost 12 am.
“Of course, I’ve got it from here ma. Get home safely,” I said as I pecked her forehead before she turned around to leave. I took a deep breath and walked into Serenity’s room and to my surprise, she was awake. I took a good look at her, noticing she was a lot smaller than the last time I laid eyes on her, which was only about a month ago. She hasn’t been eating, or she’s still taking those damn diet pills…it’s all so obvious.
“I mean damn, if you missed me this bad…all you had to do was return a phone call,” I said as I walked beside her bed, trying to lighten up the mood in this somber ass hospital. Reluctantly, she smiled as she tried to sit up in bed.
“Oh my God, who invited you Maurice? I look a mess,” she said as she tried smoothing and fixing her hair.
“I invited myself Elizabeth and you look fine ma,” I told her as I sat down beside her on the hospital bed. It didn’t take long before tears managed to silently escape their way out of my eyes.
“Nuh uh, dry those eyes Brown,” she said as she wiped the tears that pooled under my eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh, even at a time like this…she found a way to joke and smile.
“I know Macki told you I tried killing myself, she’s got it all wrong. I just wanted to feel….numb or invincible to all of this shit. I just upped the dosage for a pain killer, I had no intent to kill or hurt myself, honestly. I’m not crazy Chris,” she continued.
“I know you aren’t crazy, I know this was literally just a stunt to get a nigga back down in Louisiana,” I said jokingly.
“You’re so full of it Christopher,” she said while laughing and pushing me away from her. It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve seen her smile like this and Lord knows I don’t want it to fade any time soon.
“Yeah yeah, tell me about it. On a serious note though, what’s been going on? What caused all of this…other than the shit I put you through?” I asked.
“Welp, other than what you did…Delano managed to single handedly destroy my life in one text message and tweet. He agreed to a bet with the football team and he won, you can pretty much imagine what school has been like since then. My life is just awesome, isn’t it?” Just by the mention of that nigga’s name, my blood began to boil. It took everything in me not to get up, drive over to his house, and fuck his shit all up. If it wasn’t for the way Serenity motioned for me to lie down beside her in the bed, like she knew what I was thinking, I would have been in my car by now. I just decided to calm down so I wouldn’t upset her, I’ll deal with Delano’s ass soon, and very soon.
“You know what, I say you just pick up, move, and leave all of this bullshit behind,” I told her.
“That would actually be wonderful but I have nowhere else to go,” she said.
“Man that’s bullshit, of course you do. Move to VA with me, Serenity. You don’t have to live with me, you can live with my mom or even let me set you up in your own apartment. I just think if you stay in Louisiana any longer. I might go back to jail, this time for murder charges over America’s YouTube sensation.” she just shook her head while laughing, not taking me seriously.
“I’m not so sure my parents would go for that Chris.”
“Don’t worry about them, you’re grown Serenity and they know that moving is the best thing for you right now. If I have to, I’ll persuade them about it. Is this the only reason you’re unsure about moving?”
“No, Chris…I just don’t think it’s a good idea..not with us being the way we are right now.”
“What does that even mean Serenity? We’re cordial with each other right now, it’s like nothing has ever even happened, I think that’s just the way she go about this. We both fucked up, right? So let’s not hold it against each other.”
“I know about Tiffany…and your child. Still want to act like nothing has ever happened?” Shit! I told Tiffany to stop running her mouth to Macki, and after what happened, I knew Macki wasn’t going to delay with telling Serenity, I didn’t expect her to.
“Then you would also know I’m going to do right by her and my child but that’s it…I will never have the same feelings for her that I have for you, why can’t you see that?” She just ran her hand over her face and took a deep breath before looking at me.
“I can. I can see it Chris. You know, I’m done with holding all of this against you…it takes so much energy to be mad at you when I know all I want to do is be with you, laying in your arms somewhere on a beach or something, away from it all.” Tears began to ease their way out of her eyes and I knew she finally let that guard down with me, I had her back and I don’t plan on fucking it up again any time soon.
“Serenity, I promise you from here on out…nothing will come between us, ever again. I know it’s going to hard but I need you to trust me…in your own time.” She shook her head, agreeing with me. I wiped the tears from her face and kissed her. That kiss felt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It felt like I finally had my soul mate back, I don’t know. I can’t describe this feeling.
“I love you,” I told her while pushing her hair behind her ear, so I had perfect view of the perfect woman.
“I love you too. Just one question though Brown, did you not wear a condom?” Her question through me off guard but it was one I hadn’t thought about. As I remembered the whole situation, I did wear a condom…I don’t recall it breaking or tearing…or anything else.
D E L A N O:
Man, I fucked up…on so many different levels. I don’t know why I agreed to do it. I don’t know why I took advantage of her like that. I’m better than this, so much better than this. I just got caught up in the bullshit. The captain of the football team told me if I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t start for the homecoming game and I had scouts coming to see me play. My whole life depended on that damn game so I did what I had to do and I regret every minute of it. I don’t even want these fucking college offers, not with the way I went about getting them.
Everyone at school hates me now. They all think I’m a piece of shit for what I did to Serenity and I couldn’t agree with them more. My father has never been so disappointed in me once he found out what I did from one of his friends whose son plays with me on the team. My sister, the only female I’ve ever been genuinely close with, won’t even look at me. I messed up and I hate myself for it. I should have went with my first thought, about telling Serenity about the bet but I figured if I told her, she’d really hate me and never want to see me again. I couldn’t deal with that because I was beginning to get sincere feelings for her. I actually like Serenity, I’ve always liked her but I couldn’t do anything about it because of my fear of losing this piss-poor ass reputation. Man, fuck this damn reputation, it’s the reason I’m in this shit in the first place.
“Delano, can I talk to you?” my father asked as he came in my room and sat down across from me on my bed. I couldn’t stand to look at him, I couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in his eyes.
“Yeah Dad, what’s up?” I asked him as I turned off the music I forgot I had blasting all day. Music has always been the only thing that keeps me sane, especially after my mom passed away.
“Delano…son, what were you thinking? I could have sworn your mother and I raised you better than this.”
“Dad, you and mom did raise me better than this. I honestly don’t have a legit reason for doing what I did. I thought my life and career depended on it but we both know…it didn’t. It was just a stupid decision that I wish I didn’t make. I’m sorry Dad.” It’s probably been 10 years since the last time I’ve cried, when my mother passed away.
“It’s okay man, it’s okay. Son, I know you…I know you wouldn’t have done this if your back wasn’t against some type of wall and you felt you had no other choice. What you need to do now though, is go see that young lady at the hospital and tell her how sorry you are. Take her the flowers I brought that are on the counter.” I just shook my head, grabbed my car keys and the flowers, and made my way to the hospital…not knowing what to expect.
All this nervous energy attacked me as soon as I got in the hospital. I did everything but what I came here to do. I bought a snack from a vendor, I brought extra flowers and even a big ass teddy bear from the gift store. I even borrowed a cigarette from some random dude outside, knowing damn well I don’t even smoke these so they didn’t calm my nerves, whatsoever. I finally just pushed myself and ran directly to the front desk.
“Hi, I’m looking for Serenity McFadden, what room is she in?” I asked the lady behind the desk.
“Let me check to see if she’s open to visitors as of now hun, hold on one second,” she said as she tapped away on her computer. I swear with being so nervous, every sound was intensified. The popping of her gum sounded like a machine gun shooting rounds right beside my fucking ear. The clicking of her keyboard sounded like one of those clocks that make some type of noise when it strikes 12, just at a faster pace.
“She is in fact accepting visitors at the time sir, she’s in room 302. Go through these doors, take a left, then a right, and you should be directly at her room.” I found myself racing through the halls, trying to find the room. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. Some of them would recognize me as the “football” star or the “YouTube sensation,” I wanted neither of them at the moment.
After about 5 minutes, I finally found her room. The blinds were closed so I couldn’t see inside. I don’t even know how but my hand found it’s way to the door, knocking twice before I opened it and entered.
“Aw hell nah, man…you might as well remove yo’ ass from this room before I do it for you.” As much as I wanted to shut this slick-talking ass, R&B singing ass, yellow ass nigga up by punching him in the throat, I didn’t…I wasn’t here for him.
“Look man, I’m not here for you. Can I just talk to Serenity…alone?” I told him while setting Serenity’s gift on her bed.
“Fuck no! Leave her—”
“Chris, it’s okay. Just step out in the hall for a quick second,” Serenity said as she sat up in the bed. He stood up and pushed past me, leaving out of the door. It took everything in me not to uppercut that nigga but, I kept my hands shoved inside my pants pocket.
“Delano, I’m over it. I’m not holding a grudge against you or anything. I actually forgive you. I’ve prayed on it, long and hard and holding a grudge would hurt me more than it would hurt you. The gifts and things, although they’re nice…I don’t need them. Thanks for coming by but there’s nothing else for us to talk about,” she said as she nudged the stuffed teddy bear on the floor.
“No, there is something to talk about. Serenity, I’m not leaving until you realize how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you, I’ve actually developed feelings for you, I don’t know what possessed me to do this. I’m not this type of person Serenity and I just wish you had a chance to see the real me before all of this happened,” I told her as I gently placed the teddy bear back on her bed.
“Thanks for coming by Delano.” Her expression was icy. She says she’s over it but I know she isn’t, it’s only human and natural for her not to be. I’ve made up in my mind that it’s my life’s duty to make this up to her though.
C H R I S B R O W N:
Everything is so fucked up. My life, is just in shambles right now. After I got Mackenzie’s drunk ass in the car, I had thoughts about running this fucking Hummer into a ditch or something. I couldn’t even stand to look at Mackenzie, not that she’s to blame for all of this but because she picked the wrong place and time to snitch on a nigga. I knew what I did in the dark was going to come to light sooner or later but I just thought it would’ve been later rather than sooner. As I replayed Mackenzie’s words in my head, I remember her saying something along the lines of Tiffany asking her for advice on how to leave Mr. Basketball star because she still loves me.
The day I made that fatal mistake of fucking Tiffany, I told her it didn’t mean a damn thing to me..she made it seem like it didn’t mean anything to her either. Obviously, it did! I just wished she would have spoke to me about it directly, instead of dragging an innocent bystander in this shit. Now, Mackenzie’s at home…drunker than two left feet and without her best friend..all because of me and my selfish ass. It was ironic how Adorn by Miguel..my favorite song and Serenity’s ringtone started to blast through my car’s speakers as she got out of a car, after someone leaned over and kissed her cheek. I looked closer and saw it was that goofy ass nigga, Delano, in the driver’s seat. I don’t think she noticed my Hummer in the parking lot as she limped up the driveway. I punched my steering wheel, beeping the horn and startling her. I decided to just get out of the car, there’s a lot of shit I need to tell her right now.
“I could have sworn I told you to be gone once I got here,” she said as I met her up at the porch. I glanced her over…her hair was a mess, her makeup was nonexisting, her dress was wrinkled, and she held her leg like she was in pain as she opened up the door and limped into the living room. I knew that limp all to well.
“So, just be real with me right now ma…you fucked him to get revenge for me messing with Tiff?” I asked her as I grabbed her by the hand, swinging her around before she could make it to the steps. She just snatched her arm away from me as she rolled her eyes.
“What part of “we’re over” don’t you get? If I wanted to mess with Delano, I’m free to do so and wouldn’t be cheating on you…unlike you did to me, after you made me trust your weak ass!” she turned on her heels and tried walking up the stairs, once again…I caught her by the hand.
“Did he hurt you?” I said through a clenched jaw. If her answer is yes, there’s no telling what I would do..I’d probably hop in that damn Hummer and speed back over to his house just to knock his ass down to the ground.
“What on Earth would make you think he hurt me? Not everyone beats on women, Chris,” she said as tears began to stain her cheeks. I felt like shit. Out of everyone, I never thought Serenity would be one to degrade or talk to me like that…knowing how I feel about that shit.
“You know what, maybe you’re right. I’ll just go pack my bags and be on my way. Let me tell you something though, what I did with Tiffany…didn’t mean a damn thing to me. I guess that’s why I wasn’t in such a rush to tell you. Second thing, if you ever think…for a minute…that I don’t love you then I’ve obviously done a poor ass job of trying to show you that before any of this even happened. Last but not least…this…this isn’t over…whatsoever. I’m going to make you fall in love with me..deeper than you claim you were before, trust me,” I told her as I kissed her forehead then ran up the steps. I packed my bag then headed back downstairs. The whole time I heard her crying and sniffing. I just shook my head as I walked out to my car and pulled my phone out to call Mike.
“Nigga, it’s late as fuck, what you want?” he said as he answered the phone.
“My bad man, that guest room still available for a couple of days? Ni-Ni and I had a…arguement and a nigga is in the doghouse right now,” I told him as I backed out of Serenity’s driveway.
“Fasho’ bruh, you know I got you,” he said as he tried to wake himself up.
“Cool, I’ll be there in like…an hour. I need to go and clear my head first,” I told him.
“Aight Breezy, don’t do anything stupid now nigga.”
“Chill, sounding like my moms and shit. I’ll be alright. I’m gone though, one,” I said as I hung up the phone. I had no clue where I was going but I just knew I needed to go some place with a lot of noise…so I wasn’t force to sit and think about this shit.
S E R E N I T Y:
As I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t as sore as I was yesterday but I had the worst headache…probably from all of that crying. My head was a jungle full of shit I couldn’t process at the moment. I didn’t want to believe that I let someone I had no love for…take my virignity. God knows I wanted to wait until marriage as I was instructed…or to at least let someone who I loved more than life itself, have that privilege. That someone would have been Chris, but he just had to go and fuck that all up.
“Come on, get up. We’re going out,” Ashley said as she burst in my room, grabbing my coat off the hook and dragging me by the hand out to her car.
“Wait..what? Where are we going and why?” I asked her as I got in the passenger seat.
“I just want to spend some time with my baby sis, I know I haven’t been around much but we need to talk…I know somethings wrong boo, might as well go ahead and tell me about it,” she said as we backed out of the garage. I just took a deep breathe and got ready to spill my guts to her. Other than Macki, she’s the only one I really have to talk to…now that I don’t have Macki, she’s literally all I have.
“Well, you know Chris and I started dating a while ago…the week I spent Christmas with him,” I said and waited for her to shake her head to show she was paying attention and knew what I was talking about.
“Okay, well apparently…that same week..Chris cheated on me with his ex from VA. Macki’ knows his ex from when she lived in VA and she called her a while ago, saying how she’s all in love with Chris instead of her fiance’..Kevin Durant—”
“Kevin Durant? You mean that girl Tiffany!? Dammit Chris, I thought he knew better than to mess with a low down, dirty bit—”
“Whoa, wait? How do you know her?” I asked Ashley as we pulled up at the nail salon. That’s just like Ashley, trying to treat everything with a mani and pedi, I doubt it’s going to work for me though.
“Girl, she’s all over the tabloids! Mediatakeout.com can’t stand her lil trifling ass. One post said that while she and Kevin were at a celebration party, she was dancing and grinding on these other random ass ball players. I just feel sorry for Kevin, that man is hopelessly in love with her and can’t see her for what she really is…a slut,” she said as she parked the car. We didn’t bother getting out of the car yet though, I wasn’t done with my story and I wasn’t going to finish it inside with multiple ears to hear.
“Well, Chris says what he did with her meant nothing to him and I honestly believe that but, I don’t know. If she meant nothing in the first place then the whole sex thing wouldn’t have happened. Then yesterday, I sort of let Delano…swipe the v-card for the first time. After I got home and Chris was still there, I started running off at the mouth…you know how I am when I’m upset. I said something I’d never say to him in a clear state of mind but…Ash, I just don’t know what the hell to do,” I told her as I dropped my head in my hands. If I had any tears left, they would have definitely been racing down my face right now.
“Ni-Ni, you just got a mess on your hands mama. It’s all good though. Remember what mom use to say? God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I don’t really know what kind of advice to give you but…just go with your heart. I know it sounds corny but if you genuinely love Chris, y’all will work it out…trust me,” she said as she opened her door. I did the same and she came over to my side, embracing me into one of her hugs that always made me feel a little better.
S E R E N I T Y:
Christmas with Chris and his family was awesome but I was extremely happy to be back home in Louisiana. Just like they promised, my family didn’t open a gift until I walked in the door. I missed being here with my parents and Ashley, not that I didn’t have fun with Chris but..there’s definitely no place like home. Mackenzie had her brother pick me up from the airport because she wanted to be the first to welcome me home and we definitely hugged like we spent a year away from each other than just four days.
“So, how was Christmas in Virginia?” my mother asked as she passed me a cup of hot chocolate. My whole family, including Macki surrounded me in a circle, waiting for me to answer their numerous questions. The only person that didn’t ask me any questions is Macki, I figured it was because I basically told her everything during our phone conversations or skype sessions.
“It was actually fun. His family is really nice, his mom said she’ll come down and meet you guys pretty soon too,” I said as I recalled the conversation Mama J and I had at Christmas dinner. I think I made a pretty good impression because she couldn’t stop ranting about how she was finally glad Chris found someone like me.
“That would be wonderful hunny. So I’m guessing this thing between you and Mr. Brown is quite serious,” my mother asked while looking over the tip of her glasses. I took a deep breath and let out an even deeper sigh as I became mesmorized by the time we spent together.
“Yes ma’am. I mean, we aren’t getting married today or tomorrow but..I really like him mama,” I told her. I could see my dad tense up out of the corner of my eye. I ignored it, even though he may not like the situation..I know he’ll always respect it.
“Well okay sweetie, just be smart about this..I don’t want you to end up getting hurt but I don’t think Chris has any intention to do so. Let him know he’s welcome here any time he’d like. As of now, your father and I need to go and do a little shopping for New Years, we’ll be back soon,” she said as she kissed my forehead then headed for the door with my father.
“Okay, all I need to know is….you still have your v-card right?” Ashley yelled to the top of her lungs as soon as mom and dad were outside. My memory flashed back to the night we came home from the mall..every inch of me wanted him to seduce me but he wouldn’t give in. One part of me was grateful because I’m still not sure that was what I really wanted at the time while the other part of me wondered why he was so against it.
“Yes Ashley, I still have my v-card..don’t worry.”
“Well good, you tell Mijo to hit me up?” she asked as she took my mug away from me and finished off my hot chocolate that wasn’t so hot anymore.
“Ash, I totally forgot. I’m pretty sure I can get it from Chris or tell Chris to give your number to Mijo,” I said. I cringed as I remembered the way Mijo looked at me from across the table at dinner. He never took his eyes off of me not did he ever speak directly to me, not even once. It was weird but I shook it off. I mean…it’s Mijo, he’s just a weird ass person altogether.
“Ni-Ni, what do you say we go upstairs and you can show me all of your new clothes, shoes, jewelry, perfume, and other stuff I’m pretty sure Chris’ rich ass gave you,” Macki said as she pulled me off of the couch and all the way up to my room. I shook my head as I pretty much had to kick a path through my still unpacked bags in order to not fall down and kill myself. Chris had given me more than I could possibly ask for in Christmas gifts. I mean, I had a personalized, crystal, Gucci watch in one of my bags. I had a numerous amount of bags with designer clothes in them with names I couldn’t pronounce. Majority of my stuff isn’t even here, he has to ship it back to my house because I couldn’t take it all on the plane.
“I got this for you,” I said as I handed Macki her Christmas gifts. She tore the wrapping paper off and smiled as she tried on her new earrings and necklace. Mackenzie was easy to please but shopping for her had to be the most difficult thing on planet Earth because I wanted it to make special and as relevant to our frienship as possible.
“Thank you Ni-Ni, and I got this for you,” she said as she passed me a gift bag. I looked in it to see it was the picture we decided we wanted to take together for our senior pictures inside of a frame she made herself. Macki is really talented with anything that deals with arts and crafts and the frame is beautiful. I got up and hugged her. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without my best friend, I just can’t imagine life without her. After I released her, my phone vibrated with a text from Chris telling me to get on skype. I told myself I wasn’t going to talk to Chris until he text or called me first, I didn’t want to seem too clingy already.
“You know he’s put more pictures up on Instagram and Twitter right. I guess you haven’t checked your Twitter or Facebook in days now because you would probably be freaking out, not because of anything bad…but because of how many people actually want you two together,” Macki said as I signed into Skype.
“To be completely honest, I don’t even care anymore. I might even upload my own pictures that I’ve taken,” I replied.
“Yeah, well just remember that we go back to school soon and you’ll have to deal with all of you new and fake friends,” she said playfully as we sat down at my desk, letting my laptop connect to Chris’ call.
“Hey baby! Is that—oh, hey Macki!” Chris said as he moved his laptop and walked into a familiar part of his house.
“Hey Chris,” Macki and I said at the same time. Instead of staying seated by my side like I thought she would, she scooted back her chair and just threw herself across the bed. I just shrugged it off, Macki tells me when something is wrong with her so it’ll come out sooner or later.
“I told yo’ ass to text or call me as soon as you landed!” he said as he began to shake his head.
“Aw hush up, you’ll live,” I took a better look at his attire and noticed he was in all black, excpet for his tie which was blue. “So, how you holding up babe?” I asked. I could see the stress that plastered his face as soon as I asked that question. He rubbed his temple and shifted his snapback so the front was no longer visible.
“I’ll be alright ma, don’t worry your pretty little head about it. What you getting into tonight? You probably visiting all your friends since you’re back home, huh?” I knew he wasn’t okay, his deep brown eyes told me everything I needed to know but I decided not to press the issue.
“Actually, I’m staying in tonight with Macki…I don’t have all types of friends like you do Chris,” I told him.
“That’s a damn lie but whatever. I miss you though ma, if I didn’t have so much going on here and trying to record this damn album, I’d spend every day with you in Louisiana, trust!”
“Yeah, I know you would..it’s okay though. The next break I have is Spring break…some time in March, I can spend it with you in Virginia again,” I suggested.
“Man, ain’t nobody trying to wait a whole three months to see you. I’ll be back around before then, probably even some time in January. Ever since I got home, I’ve been trying to see what things I can clear out of my schedule to see you but it’s just some permanent shit I have to do…you understand that, right?”
“Of course I understand. I mean, if this is all too much for you Chris..we can always try this relationship thing another time..I’d completely understand.” He instantly jerked the computer so I had a close up of his face, I count all of his freckles if I wanted to.
“Right now, with all of this shit I have going on, you’re the only sane thing that belongs in my life. I’ll make it work ma, believe me.” Just as I was opening my mouth to say something, Ashley burst in my room waving around what looked like a check.
“My check finally came! Thank goodness, I was begining to think that cheap ass Chris wasn’t going to pay me!” she said as she twirled around in the floor, scattering my Christmas gifts around..managing to slide them up under my bed in one motion.
“Aye, I’m not cheap nigga! It wasn’t my fault, my manager screwed that up..my bad,” Chris said, startling her. She stopped twirling around and focused her eyes on my computer screen.
“Shit, I’m sorry Chris..didn’t know you were in here. Have fun kids,” she said as she laughed all the way out into the hall where she continued ranting on about her check.
“Excuse my weird ass sister,” I told Chris.
“Don’t worry about it. Yo, I think I’m about to go shower then take a damn nap…just not feeling it today thanks to the funeral. I’ll call you when I get up babe. When can talk about what I’m going to say when I get up too because I know you’ll feel some type of way about it but…I love you Serenity. I’ll talk to you later ma,” he said as he ended the call without letting me give any type of objection or interjection. So many thoughts raced through my mind. I looked over at Mackenzie, as if I needed reassurance that I wasn’t the only one that heard what he said. She just shook her head and turned her attention back to her phone.
C H R I S B R O W N:
My mom changed her mind and made us go to Short Pump mall all the way out in the west end of Virginia just so I wouldn’t be attacked by the fans that solicit the other malls in Richmond and Petersburg. A few fans recognized me in Short Pump but everyone else was busy running around and doing last minute Christmas shopping. In one sense, I was grateful for not being mobbed by fans but a part of me wanted them to mob me. I wanted them to take my chains, my money, and my watch.
Maybe if they had, this guilty ass feeling would have went away because I was just as wrongly exposed as Serenity was by me lying to her. She still doesn’t have a clue and I hated myself more and more as each second went by when we were at that mall. Once we got back to my house, I could tell she wanted to make love to me. She would give me a subliminal message in certain gestures she’d make, telling me she wanted it. No matter how much I wanted to give it to her, I couldn’t…not after how I decieved her…not once, but twice. She finally fell asleep, with a slight attitude..I could see it even if she thought she was doing a good job of hiding it.
I never fell asleep, I just lay in bed…looking at the ceiling. I debated on whether or not I should just come clean with her. A part of me told me I should while the other part told me not to. That part of me told me what happened between Tiff and I didn’t mean a damn thing, and telling Serenity about it would just hurt her for no reason. That one part of me decided for all of me. I know it’ll catch up with me though, I know that. As dumb as it may sound, I know what thell I got myself into and I know lying is only making it worse. I know whatever is done in the dark must come to light. I’ll sing like a fucking bird, telling her everything when that time comes…if it ever comes. But, right now…I can’t hurt her like that..I just can’t.
“Good Morning babe, did you sleep well?” Serenity asked as she rolled over and faced me. She was about the only girl I knew who woke up looking the same way she went to sleep, flawless. I was happy to see the attitude she had with me yesterday was gone too.
“Yeah, I did. I was just waiting for you to get up so we could go open presents!” I tried to sound enthusiastic but it every inch of enthusiasm I thought I had drowned as I opened my damn mouth. She could see it too, her eyes were concerned…like she knew something was up. She never said anything about it though, she just smiled weakly at me as she got out of bed. She grabbed my hand and I walked behind her all the way to my living room. I don’t think my words could have prepared her for what she was about to see when we got there so I just left it alone.
There were about 10 different wrapped boxes under the tree when she went to sleep, as she woke up…there had to over 100 boxes and they were pretty much all for her. My mom was able to take Serenity’s measurements at the mall without her thinking too much of it and all of her gifts were here around 1:00 this morning, wrapped and everything. I made a few calls and got it done in a timely fashion. I probably went overboard because of how guilty I felt but, any and everything a girl could possibly want was under that tree and I was glad I was the one to provide it for her.
“Chris, is all of that seriously for me?” she asked as she stopped in front of the Christmas tree. I just kissed her on her cheek then went to turn on the TV and radio, like she had during Christmas Eve morning.
“Give or take maybe 3 or 4 that belong to my mom, but yes…all of that is for you ma,” I told her. Her face instantly lit up as she tried to figure out where to even begin. I looked down at my watch and saw we slept later than I had expected, it was already 11:30 am. My mom normall has Christmas “dinner” around 3:00, so in order for her to get through and try on all of these presents, she needed to move quickly. She picked up a box then quickly sat it down before she raced off back to the bedroom. About 3 minutes later, she emerged with three boxes in her arms.
“I could never get you the amount of stuff you’ve obviously gotten me but, it’s just a little something so the day wouldn’t go un-noticed,” she said as she placed the boxes in my hand with a smile.
“You know you really didn’t have to get me anything. Just being here, sharing Christmas with you is enough, you know that right?” I asked her as I pulled her down on my lap. I could see she hesitated before actually sitting down, a second of that insecurity shit settling in.
“That’s sweet, but..I just had to get you something. Go ahead and open it,” she said after pecking me on my lips. I did as I was told and opened up the first box. After I got around a bunch of wrapping paper, I saw it was a picture of Grandma Susie and I, sitting outside on her porch in golden fram that had our initials engraved in it. I couldn’t help but smile, I knew exactly how she could have gotten this picture…from my mother. It was the fact that she went all out to do it that made me smile. I’ve never had a girl put so much thought into anything like this. Most of the other girls I’ve dated…including Rih and Kae, would rather spend money on a new car for me than to take the time out and do something like this. It meant a lot more to me.
“Wow, thank you ma. I appreciate this,” I told her as I placed the picture on my coffee table and resumed to open up the other boxes. The next box I opened was a watch that had my initials engraved in the back as well. It isn’t too flashy or expensive and that’s why I like it. The last box was what really caught my attention. It was a keychain that had a picture from what looked like her senior pictures uploaded on it, one recent picture of me that the tabloids must have taken, then the rest were pictures of us..together.
“I know it’s kind of corny but, as we go along…as this relationship progresses…we can upload more pictures that we take on this. I have one too, that way no matter where we go..how far apart we are, we’ll always have each other,” she said as she started to blush. I could tell she was embarrassed but I didn’t have any clue as to why. Other than the picture of Grandma Susie and I, this was the greatest present I’ve recieved in a long time. Instead of trying to make her understand that with words, I held her face in my hands and kissed her. She and I both knew it wasn’t just a “kiss” though. It was one of those kisses the military men give their wives when they see them after months or are about to leave them and don’t know if they’ll return or not. It was one of those kisses you never want to really start because you’ll hate when it ends. On my behalf, it was one of those kisses where you plead and beg for forgiveness, for a crime the one you like, may even love..doesn’t even know you made.
C H R I S B R O W N
The whole ride over to Grandma Susie’s crib, something kept telling me I needed to carry my yellow ass back home. Something told me nothing good or for my benefit was going to come out of this encounter. I managed to find myself knocking on the front door anyway.
“Chris, thanks for coming by…come on in,” Tiffany said as she opened the door and let me in. I walked into the house and instantly felt sick. I looked over at Grandma Susie’s chair, where she should have been…smiling and laughing or sewing what she would tell me were the garments of Allah in the Muslim Nation.
“You know, she said she was healthy yesterday. What happened between then and 3 this morning?” I asked Tiffany, trying to shake the images of Grandma Susie out of my head.
“I got a call not too long ago from the care takers. They said she had been having problems with high blood pressure, which caused the stroke. They said the couldn’t tell us because she asked them to keep it confidential, she would tell us herself. You know how Grandma is though, she doesn’t like anyone to feel sorry for her or think she’s weak for even a moment,” Tiffany said as she walked back to the guess room, her room. I followed behind her, I’m not sure why…but I did.
“So, what y’all doing about the funeral? I’m no good at planning them but you know I got you with any expenses, just let me know.” I said as I sat down on the neatly made bed. It probably irritated the hell out of Tiffany because she’s a total neat freak, she never said anything though.
“You know the Temple wants to take care of everything. Kevn has already offered to take care of any expenses though, thanks anyway,” she said as she moved about in the room, packing suitcases.
“Right…Kevin Durant…Mr. Basketball star. I thought he was flying today, where he at?”
“His flight got delayed an hour but he should be here soon.” I finally took a good look at Tiffany and saw her face was flushed, from crying so much. Her blonde hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head, making her fiance’s jersey quite visible. She snapped me out of my trance when I heard the clashing of jewelry and perfume bottles being aggressively thrown into her suitcase.
“Ay, whoa…stop that. Come here,” I said as I pulled her into my arms, she looked like she could just use a hug from someone who felt what she was going through. She immediately broke down, hysterically crying against my chest. I’ve never seen Tiffany like this. She had to be the stongest female, mentally, I knew. Seeing her so distraught, almost defeated like…killed me. My own tears began to stain my cheeks from the sight of hers. We stood this way for what seemed like hours, just me holding her. Her tears finally stopped flowing as she let go of me and sat down on the bed. I followed, sitting beside her.
“Pooh, I can’t thank you enough for coming over,” she said while wiping away the rest of her tears.
“Man, don’t trip. You know I’ll always be here for you…no matter what,” I told her as I lay back on her bed, kicking my shoes off. “I think I’m going to take a nap while you finish packing though, I almost fell asleep on the ride over here,” I said as I closed my eyes. I heard the bed creek and figured it was just her getting up tio pack. It wasn’t until I felt something brush against my lips that I opened my eyes to see her red eyes taring back at me. She was pretty much laying on top of me.
“Did you just k—” before I could finish my question, her lips met mine again..this time her tongue forced it’s way inside my mouth. I’m lying, she didn’t force shit, I let it happen. Why the fuck was I letting this happen? Next thing I know, she had my shirt off and was now unbuckling my pants. I didn’t stop her. Why the fuck didn’t I stop her? The only time our mouths were apart was when she sat up to take her shirt off, letting her fiance’s number hit the floor. I looked at her do it, I let her do it. She then let her tongue trace a trail from my neck, down to my chest, then finally to Cj. I could have stopped her then, I should have stopped her then but I began thinking with the wrong damn head. I let her continue as she please, feeling every inch of pleasure and ecstacy she was giving me. As if this wasn’t bad enough, I brought her up from her position, switching places with her so I was on top.
I found myself fumbling around in the drawer next to her bed for where I remembered she kept her stash. I found the little, gold packet I was looking for and placed it on me. I don’t know what possessed me to do it or what I did next. I went inside…deep, inside. She yelled my name, arched her back, grabbed the sheets like she wanted the pain she was feeling to go away, but stay at the same time. I don’t know what came over me but I was angry…I was mad that she was making me do this and I took it out on her. I pinned her arms above her head so she wouldn’t leave marks on back with her nails, instead..she dug them in the headboard. Without thinking, I turned her over and took her from the back. She moaned like she was dying, like she wasn’t the blame for this…like she didn’t ask for it. She started to move around the bed on her knees, like she was running away from me, that still didn’t stop me. I looked down and saw the stain she created on the bed…and kept going. It wasn’t until my phone rang that I pulled out. If it had of been any other ringtone that Adorn by Miguel coming through my phone’s speakers, I probably wouldn’t have stopped. The weird part is, I didn’t feel shit just now. I was expecting to feel a spark or the same way I did when we made love the other times, in this very same room when Grandma was away…but I didn’t. I wouldn’t even called what we just did…”love making.” It was a friendly fuck and I knew it would be added to the list of other sessions I regret having.
“Hello? Hey baby!” I said into the phone.
“Hey, you said you’d be back an hour ago. Everything okay?” I looked down at my watch and saw Serenity was right, an extra hour I didn’t mean to spend here had already passed.
“Yeah, everything’s cool. I’m just helping her pack some of Grandma’s things then I should be back, okay?” I was lying through my teeth and I hated myself for doing so.
“Alright, your mom said we’re going to the mall in Petersburg I guess? I’ve never been so hurry up and get over here so we can go.”
“No doubt, I’lm heading to the car now. Alright, see you soon ma,” I said as I searched the room for my shirt. I found it in the corner by Tiffany’s.
“So, that’s it? You just going to act like this didn’t happen?” Tiffany asked as I hander her the shirt. I had a feeling she wouldn’t have been able to get it herself.
“Nothing happened, I suggest you stick with the same story with OKC boy because he just pulled up,” I said as I looked out of the window. Her eyes got big as she tried to jump out of the bed but stopped once she realized it hurt to move. Fuck, I honestly didn’t mean to do any of this.
“What got into you?” she asked.
“Man, don’t sit there and act like you didn’t want it. I gave you what you asked for even though I feel like shit for doing so. Just feel bad that OKC won’t be getting any tonight,” I told her as I walked towards the door. Before I left, I turned around and looked at her. I felt like I took advantage of her because she was in such a vulnerable state when she made the first move. Then again, so was I and she started this shit…I didn’t. “Let me know when the funeral is,” I said as I finally left out of the room, making my way to the car.
“Chris Brown? Is that you? What are you doing here man?” Kevin Durant asked me as he dapped me up. I felt bad for the dude, he had no idea what just went on in there. He probably didn’t even know about Tiff’s past with me, I could see she didn’t tell him. I was about to feed him a bunch of lies about how this was my house before Tiffany moved in and I was just coming to see what it looked like, now that I’m in town and all. That was bullshit and I wasn’t going to tell him any of it.
“Me and Tiffany were childhood friends, her grandma was like my grandma so I came over as soon as I heard thew news. She told me all about though bruh, congrats on the engagement. Make sure you keep her happy, happier than I could ever keep her,” I said as I got into my car. I didn’t have time to socialize with this lanky ass nigga. I sped out of the driveway hoping Tiff was decent when that man got in the house. I could tell he was crazy about her and there wasn’t any need for innocent people to get hurt because we fucked up.
S E R E N I T Y:
While Chris went to go console Tiffany, he left me here all by myself with nothing to do so I decided to skype with Macki while I had the chance. His mom called me not too long ago and told me that once Chris got home, we’d be going to some mall here in VA. I don’t know what was so special about that particular mall but she was adamant about going.
“Oh my goodness! Hey Ni-Ni! How are you? I’ve missed you!” Mackenzie said as our webcam chat connected.
“I haven’t even been gone for two whole days yet. I missed you too though Macki! What have you been up to?” I asked her.
“Nothing, just the same old stuff…wishing the holiday season would leave already. You know my mom drinks more at this time of year.”
“Yeah I know, hang in there though. As soon as I’m home you know you can crash there until the coast is clear.”
And you know I will, where’s Chris at?” she asked as she looked in my background, trying to spot Chris.
“He’s not here. Tiffany’s grandma passed and he went over to console her. It’s weird, I just met her yesterday and she looked perfectly fine. I guess tomorrow really isn’t promised to anyone.”
“Wow, that’s tough. I’m so sorry to hear that but Serenity, I need you to listen to me and listen good. Keep your eye on Tiffany, watch her and Chris. I hate to say it but Tiffany gets whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. It’s some things Chris still doesn’t know she’s done with other people while still in a relationship with him.”
“Well, I think her sneaky games and tactic days are over. She’s engaged now, to that OKC basketball player, Kevin Durant I think.”
“Trust me, Tiff doesn’t have any limits. It’s okay though, as long as you trust Chris..that’s all that matters. Speaking of Chris, are y’all even together yet?”
“Actually, we are. He asked yesterday and I finally just went with what my heart was feeling and accepted.”
“Aw, I’m happy for you Ni-Ni. I’ll text you later though. Dad’s taking us to visit grandpa,” she said with an annoyed face. She hated visiting him, he never had anything good or positive to say about her.
“Keep your head up girl, you’re not staying there forever. I love you Macki, don’t forget to text me,” I said.
“I love you too baby and I won’t! Muah!” As soon as I closed my computer, Chris burst into the house with what seemed like snow flakes all over him and a couple of shopping bags in his hand.
“Babe, you should turn on the news and see what they saying about this damn snow outside. I’m not trying to stuck at the mall. I don’t have Steve and Big Pat with me either, this is a sign for disaster,” he said as he put the bags under the Christmas Tree. Instead of turning on the TV like he asked, I went to go give him a hug..I know the passing of Grandma Susie has gotten to him, even if he says he’s dealing with it better than he was at first.
“Whoa, I will give you all the hugs and kisses you want as soon as I get out of the shower. I worked up a sweat over there, moving all those boxes and stuff. I’ll be out in a minute ma,” Chris said as he gently pushed me to the side, dodging my hug before he pranced up the steps. As soon as I heard the shower head come on, I went up the steps as well. Something was going on with him, I could tell. He looked sort of antsy, like he was nervous about something. I don’t know what it is but I was going to get to the bottom of it.
“Damn girl, you scared me. You ready to go though?” he asked as he emerged from the bathroom fully dressed almost an hour later. I didn’t say anything. I just sat on the edge of the bed, flipping through the TV channels.
“Uh, hello? Come on ma, I just talked to my mom, she’s already at the mall…we need to go,” he said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me all the way out into the car. I never said anything once we pulled off either, I was waiting for him to come clean with whatever it was. I’m pretty sure my silence was going to drive him crazy sooner or later and sure enough…it did.
“Yo, did I do something? Why you so quiet?” he asked, never taking his eyes off of the road.
“I don’t know…did you?” I replied, never taking my eyes off of my window.
“Man, stop all this. Are you upset about something? Did something happen at the house when I wasn’t there? Like, what is it…just let me know and I’ll fix it.” Macki’s words earlier were beginning to mess with my head, I had no other choice but to ask him.
“Chris, did something happen today..with uh…Tiffany?”
“What? Man, hell no! Why would you even ask me something like that?”
“I mean, what else am I supposed to think Chris? Look, just look me in my eye at the next red light and tell me nothing happened and I’ll drop this. I swear I will. I won’t bring it up ever again and the silent treatment stops as of now.” He drove through two green lights before we finally stopped at a red one. Chris turned all the way around in his seat, cuffed my face in his hand, and looked me dead in the eye.
“Nothing happened Serenity, okay…nothing. You trust me right?”
“It’s been hard for me to trust you…I’ll admit that. It was only because of my own insecurities. I know now that you won’t hurt me…so yes Chris, I trust you.” He smiled at me then kissed me. I swear the light turned green about three times and cars honked at us but he wouldn’t let me out of his grasp. His kiss was more aggressive than it’s ever been. I didn’t know how to take it. It was a mix between fear and determination. It was as if he was afraid of losing me but determined to keep me around.
S E R E N I T Y:
It was a silent ride to the big house we were now in front of. I thought my house was big. This house makes my house look like a hut or something, honestly.
“So, your mom lives in this big ol’ place by herself?” I asked Chris as he parked the car. I was just trying to make small talk, the silence I think I created was killing me.
“She’s never here by herself. My cousins and other family members pop up from time to time and stay with her,” he said as he took a key from his pocket and opened up the door.
“You think she’ll like me?” I asked once we were inside the house. He just smiled weakly at me as he took off my jacket and placed it on the chair.
“What’s not to like Ni-Ni?” he said as he took his coat off too, placing it on the same chair. I just smiled back at him, trying to be just as confident as he is about this whole situaiton. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never met the parents of a guy because we were sort of “seeing eachother” I guess. Nothing ever got the serious between me and another person.
“Hello! Mama? I’m home!” Chris shouted repeatedly up the stairs. While he screamed to the top of his lungs to find his mom, I couldn’t help but look around the house. The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside with all of the Christmas decorations. The tree was decorated perfectly too and I was instantly reminded of home.
“Chris? Baby, I thought you had to be in Paris! What are you doing here?” the lady I recognized as his mother said as she threw her arms around him. Chris picked her up and spun her around, like it was his first time seeing her in months, it actually might have been.
“Mama, now you know I wouldn’t miss Christmas, I refuse. I just wanted it to be a surprise. I have someone I want you to meet too,” he said as he montioned towards me. “Mama, this is my girl friend, Serenity McFadden. Serenity, this is my mom..Joyce.”
“Girl friend? Chris, you been gone for three months and come back with a new girl friend. She must be special though, more special than Kae obviously was because I never met her. Either way, welcome to the family Serenity, it’s nice to meet you,” Ms. Joyce said as she threw her arms around me. I just hugged her and smiled. I couldn’t do or say much but reflect on everything that Chris and his mother just said. Chris introduced me as his girl friend first of all, am I really his girl friend? Did he just make this official? Ms. Joyce never met Karrueche? Does that really mean I’m more special to Chris than Kae ever was?
“Why don’t y’all go on to the back while I fix us some breakfast…well, actually lunch. I didn’t realize it was so late. Now Serenity, be careful when you go back there with all of Chris’ knuckle head cousins, they haven’t seen him in a while and things might get ugly,” Ms. Joyce said as she made her way to the kitchen.
“Man, it’s alright. Just don’t pay those fools any attention when we get back there,” Chris said as he took me by the hand and led me to the back of the house. It seemed like it was Chris’ own arcade with all of his beautiful graffiti, games and electronics all over the place. His family didn’t even recognize we were in the room until Chris cleared his throat.
“Well look who it is! Do my eyes forsake me? Is Christopher Maurice Brown really in this damn room right now or am I dreaming?” Once I recognized this guy had same tattoo Chris has on his hand, I immediately knew it was Mijo.
“Nigga, just bring yo’ ass over here!” Chris said as he and Mijo charged eachother. They hugged for what seems like hours before Chris turned his attention to me. “Mijo, this is my girl friend Serenity. Serenity, this is Mijo.”
“Girl friend? Nigga, what the hell happened to Kae’s weird ass?” Mijo asked as he looked me up and down.
“She obviously ain’t around no more bruh. Oh, and you can’t look…but don’t touch,” Chris said as he must have caught the looks Mijo was giving me.
“Austin, wake yo’ ass up man.” I looked over at Chris and noticed he was shaking the life out of a boy that resembled him and couldn’t be more than 14 or 15.
“Alright y’all, so I don’t have to go through this again with each and every one of you fools…that is Serenity, my girl friend. Serenity, these are my cousins…you’ll meet them all later I guess. They too busy playing damn video games to pay attention,” he said as he took my hand and led me out of the room. Before I left, I noticed Mijo still had his eyes glued to me…I don’t think he ever took them off of me once Chris introduced us.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I won’t even lie, Serenity pissed me the hell off on the ride to my mom’s house. I think that’s why I went the extra mile to introduce her as my girl friend to everyone, it was my way of making shit official. I did it so she couldn’t talk about how she’s not sure I really like her or have feelings for her. I’m glad my mom made the point of telling her she had to be special because Kae didn’t even meet her. I honestly knew Kae wouldn’t be around for long that’s why I made it my business that she and my mom never bumped into each other. If I knew Kae was going on tour with me, I asked my mom to stay home and vice versa. I value my mother’s opinion and whether she thinks so or not, she made it clear that she didn’t really care for Kae. I didn’t think my mother would ever really care for any girl I bought home after Rihanna until that all changed today. She completely fell in love with Serenity, my cousins did too. Unlike Serenity, I wasn’t worried. I knew Serenity would make a good first impression.
“Oh my goodness, I love your family,” Serenity said as I opened the door to my house. I could tell that she was in awe as she looked around.
“And they love you too,” I said as I brought our bags in. We stayed over my mom’s house for a long time. It’s 11:30 pm. My mom made sure I didn’t leave until she called almost every family member in VA and told them I was home. Most of them stopped by while the others called me like crazy.
“How are you so sure?” she asked as she sat down on the couch. I didn’t answer her question until I was finished dragging each bag upstairs.
“I shouldn’t even have to say it Ni-Ni, they made it quite obvious,” I said as I plopped down on the couch beside her, planting my feet on the coffee table and turning on the TV.
“Yeah, you’re right…they do love me,” she said as she laid her head back, closing her eyes.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked her.
“Just the way you introduced me as you girl friend to everyone…what was that all about?”
“Well, that’s what you are isn’t it?”
“I don’t know…am I?”
“That’s what I want you to be…unless you don’t want to.”
“Wait, I have a massive headache right now and this conversation where we beat around the bush isn’t helping because I’m totally lost now.”
“Okay, well you’re my girl friend…point, blank, period.”
“So…it’s settled then?”
“I guess so, no objections or any other shit like that. Just accept it.”
“Accepted.” I was expecting hear her give me some other lame ass excuse as to why we couldn’t be together and for once…she finally just agreed with me. I instantly felt like the luckiest man in the damn world. It’s finally official…it’s finally legit. Before I knew it, I had Serenity in my arms..kissing her. It wasn’t just an ordinary kiss though. It was like…like, we were both sealing a deal or something. I’ve kissed Serenity a couple of times but none of them felt like this. I immediately wanted to take her upstairs and make love to her once I got a look at an excited Cj out the corner of my eye. I shook those thoughts out of my head though. I’m taking this relationship slow, as slow as she needs me to take it.
“Wake up sleepy head! It’s Christmas Eve!” Serenity said as she slid the curtains in my room open, revealing the sun. I looked at my TV and noticed it was on ABC with the “25 Days ‘til Christmas” shows on. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a girl who loves Christmas as much as she does. I like the holiday season but honestly, I won’t be upset to see it leave.
“I uh—sort of made breakfast. It’s a tradition at home. Every Christmas Eve morning, my mom and I make breakfast. You had a kitchen full of food and my hands just took over, are you hungry?” she asked as she slid next to me in the bed. I looked at her in the eye and could tell it was killing her to be away from home right now.
“Of course I am! It smells good too, can’t wait!” I said as I kissed her forehead and the jumped out of bed. Before I could even get out of the door, my cell phone rang.
“It’s probably just moms, you go ahead though…I’ll be out in a second,” I said as she wandered out of the room. I picked up my phone and answered it, never looking to see who it really was.
“Hello, Chris? This is Tiffany,” the familiar voice said on the other line. I looked at my phone and noticed she had a new number other than the one I had saved. I also looked at the time, it’s 9:00 am. I know Tiffany isn’t a early morning person, she normally wouldn’t get out of the bed until 11:30 or 12:00 at the latest.
“Yo, what’s up?” I said in an annoyed tone. To be honest, I didn’t really want to talk to her. I said everything I had to say yesterday and didn’t want to be reminded of it.
“Is this a good time?” No, not really.
“Yeah Tiffany, what’s up?”
“Chris, you should probably sit down for what I’m about to tell you.” Her voice was beginning to crack, like she was about to cry or had already been crying. I did as I was told though and took a seat on my bed.
“Alright ma, what’s going on?” I asked. It was a long pause of silence before she finally answered me.
“Uhm, it’s about Grandma Susie. She passed away early this morning, around 3 am. They say it was a stroke.” I felt my whole world crashing down and closing in around me. I’m glad I sat down because the distance to the floor I had would have been greater than it was now as I fell on my knees.
“A stroke? You weren’t around to see she was in pain or hurting? She probably called your name and you were either too busy on the phone with your fiance’ or knocked out in another room when you know you should have slept in the same room as her to keep an eye on her!”
“Chris, are you saying this is my fault? For your information, I slept in my room like I always do because Grandma insisted. I wasn’t on the phone but I was up and could have perfectly heard her if she called my name for help. I can’t believe you think so low of me.”
“Man, all I know is…I was the one holding Grandma Susie whenever I came home…comforting her because you wouldn’t come home or even call to check and see if she was okay. Look, I’m sorry..I know it’s not your fault. Grandma Susie was like my own grandma, you know that…this is just as hard for me as it is for you.”
“You don’t know how much I hate myself for being so caught up in my own world to call or check on her. You’ll never understand how I wish I had told her I loved her before I went into her room and found her this morning. You have no idea what I’m going through right now.”
“I know, I’m sorry Tiff. If there’s anything I can do or if you need anything…just let me know okay?” The phone fell silent. I was about to hang up before she spoke up, asking me to wait.
“Can you come over? I just need someone else in the house right now. I just need someone here with me until I’m done packing so I can stay with my mom now. Please, you’re about the only one that I can call on,” she said in between sobs.
“Tiff, I don’t think that’s a good id—”
“Please Pooh, I need you right now.” she said, cutting me off. I don’t know if it’s because she called me by the nickname she gave me when we first started dating, or because I know deep down inside…I need her too in order to deal with this, that I knew I had to go over there.
“Alright, I’ll be over in about an hour.” I hung up the phone and immediately began to cry. I held it in while on the phone with Tiffany, I had to be strong for her.
“Chris? Baby, what’s wrong?” Serenity said as she came into the room. She sat down beside me, pulling me into her arms..wiping away my tears.
“Grandma Susie passed away this morning,” I told her as I tried to get myself together. I feel like a weak ass nigga for crying like that. In 2009, I told myself that was the last time I’d ever be caught crying, so much for that though.