S E R E N I T Y:
It seemed like hours passed before Big Pat finally came rushing towards Mama J and I in the waiting room, telling us we could go see Leah. The whole time we waited, Mama J and I talked about everything. She could tell how nervous I was. I think I had to be more nervous than Chris was. I know I talked a good game but I don’t know the first thing about being a mother. I just know that Chris needs me, he can’t do this by himself and once I agreed to take him back, I agreed to accept Leah too..they’re a packaged deal. However, Mama J talked some sense into me. She helped me see that I was made for this. I’ve always wanted a family, I didn’t think I’d have it this soon but I do and I’m grateful.
The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew I loved her. It was like an instant connection when Chris placed her in my arms. I honestly didn’t understand how Tiffany was able to turn her back on her daughter after seeing her. The emotions I felt rushing to me should have been felt by no one other than her birth mother, but there I stood…speechless as I held her. I made a promise to Leah that day, even though her birth mother couldn’t see that she’s a gift from God, I could. I promised to love her more than I’ve ever loved myself. By me being adopted, I know how crucial it is to make that connection early. My birth mother never made a connection with me even though she had me for four years. I can honestly say, I don’t remember much about her and it’s because she didn’t create that bond with me before she handed me over to another family. Therefore, I feel sorry for Tiffany if she ever does decide to come back in her life, it won’t be an easy process.
"You’re a natural," Chris said as he came into Leah’s room and stood beside me. The first night home, Mama J stayed over and helped me with everything but by the second day…I had everything quickly under control and in order. I guess I am a natural at this.
"So are you," I told him as I turned to face him. I was rocking Leah to sleep and from the looks of it, I was successful. I then kissed her cheek before handing her over to Chris. I walked out of her room and into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Chris soon followed me, sitting down and placing a fast asleep Leah on his chest. Watching Chris interact with his daughter the past three days has completely changed the way I looked at him. I’ve never seen him so gentle and so caring. I didn’t think it was possible to fall more in love with him in just three days, but I did.
"Come here," he said as he tugged at my elbow so I could lay beside him on the couch. I rested my head on the side of his torso that Leah wasn’t on. It was silent for a while as I just watched his chest move up and down as he drew circles with his finger on my back. "You think you slick, huh?" he asked softly, careful not to wake Leah.
"What are you talking about Brown?" I replied as I took Leah’s blanket from behind Chris and wrapped her in it, I was beginning to get cold so I know she was.
"You thought just by not talking about your birthday, a nigga would forget. Too bad I didn’t," he said as he shot me that goofy ass smile that I grew to love so much. I just giggled to myself as I looked at him. I was kind of hoping he would forget. I’ve never been one to want a lot of attention on my birthday. It’s just another day and I’m just another year older, it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t mind going all out for others on their birthday, it’s just…I don’t want anyone to go all out for me..for one day. I just can’t get with that whole idea of people treating their birthdays like it’s basically a holiday.
"Christopher, I don’t want or need anything all extravagant. Just having you and Leah is honestly the best gift anyone could ever ask for," I told him as I reached up and pecked his cheek.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I hear you. You can’t expect me to just pretend like the day doesn’t exist though. I promise I won’t go all out like I had planned to but…" he stopped talking as his eyes trailed off from looking down at me to staring up at the wall, he had something up his sleeve.
"But….what? Just spit it out Chris," I teased as I poked his side. He jerked and startled Leah but she quickly fell back asleep.
"Reach in my pocket," he said as he looked back down at me. I rolled my eyes as I began to sit up. "Nah, not like that. Seriously, I need you to get something for me," he said as he pulled me back down. I did as he said and reached into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulled out two sets of keys. I was confused.
"Why do you have two sets of keys in your pocket?" I asked him. He just swung his legs off of the couch and carefully got up with Leah. He then disarmed the alarm to the front door before standing in front of it. "You going to get up, or what?" I got up from the couch and he opened the door for me, I walked out first and he soon followed. He then led the way to the garage. He disarmed the alarm for it and opened it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
"Chris…" I couldn’t even think of anything else to say as my Lexus sat in the garage with a new paint job and new rims. I left my car in Louisiana when I left for Paris so the trouble he went through to get it in Virginia meant more to me than the actual car.
"I thought I’d shine your baby up for you. I know how much your first car means to you so I brought it up here," he said as he walked over to me and placed his arm around my waist, kissing my forehead.
"Thank you so much baby. I love it but, what’s the other key for?" I asked as I looked down at the second pair of keys I had in my hand. He passed Leah to me and walked over to the car that had a covering on it. He pulled the covering back and a Lamborghini with a camo paint job to match his stared back at me.
"Chris, baby…what on earth—"
"I heard you talking about how much you liked my Lambo once I got the paint job, so I went ahead and got my baby one too. So when everybody sees you, they know that’s me," he said proudly. I just shook my head as I smiled at him. I couldn’t even lie, I did like the car and I couldn’t wait to drive in it.
"Lord, what other 19 year old do you know that drives a Lamborghini?" I said as I began to open up the car and check it out. He took Leah from me and got in the passenger side. I took that as my cue to go ahead and drive it, just around the block though because we didn’t have Leah’s car seat with us to go any farther.
"I had one when I was 19," he said as I pulled out of the garage. I had to adjust to how quickly this car took off.
"Let me rephrase that for you, what normal 19 year old drives a Lamborghini?" He just laughed as he re-positioned Leah in his arms.
"When will you realize you aren’t a normal 19 year old either?" he asked. I just brushed him off as I started to make my way back to the condo. People were already gawking at the car, wondering who was inside. Chris has driven his Lambo around pretty often so they probably thought it was him in the driver’s seat. I was just thankful that the windows were tinted. Minutes later we finally pulled back into the garage and I looked over to see Leah was stirring and finally woke back up.
"I’m going to make dinner. I think it’s daddy’s turn to give his princess a bath," I told Chris as we got back inside the house. He stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at me.
"Babe, I don’t know how to give her a bath. How about I make dinner and you make her smell good because I think she just shit too," he said as he wrinkled his nose and held her in the air. I just shook my head as I took Leah into my arms. Before I walked away, I tugged on his shirt so he lowered himself down to my height. I then placed a kiss on his lips.
"Thank you for my gifts babe. I love them, not as much as I love you though," I told him.
"I’m glad you like it and I love you too baby. What you want for dinner though?"
"You volunteered, you think of something," I told him as I stuck my tongue out and made my way to Leah’s room. I took off her dirty diaper then got her ready for bath time. She’s about the only baby I know that absolutely loves to take a bath. Most babies scream to the top of their lungs when a drop of water touches them but not Leah, she’s all smiles and giggles when I bathe her.
About 15 minutes later, I finished bathing Leah and dried her off. Chris managed to have dinner ready in thirty minutes afterwards. He ended up making tacos, way too many for only two of us to eat but it was good nonetheless. While we ate, I fed Leah her bottle and rocked her until she fell asleep again. I kept questioning Chris on his plans for tomorrow but he quickly caught on and kept quiet so he didn’t spoil whatever he had planned for my birthday. After a while, I just stopped trying. Chris is going to be Chris and whatever he does, I’m pretty sure I’ll get over the intitial shock of it and end up liking it…I always do.
The next day, I woke up to an unusually silent home. By this time, I’d hear the baby monitors going off with Leah’s crying or Chris in the kitchen, doing his best to fix a bottle or breakfast for us. Instead, I rolled over to a piece of paper with a bunch of Chris’ artwork on it and a messily written note. :
To the love of my life,
I know I said I wasn’t going to do anything all extravagant but honestly ma, you deserve it. You’ve stuck by my side when anyone else would have walked away from me. You’ve held me down when I was at my worst and helped me get to a point where I was at my best. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you. I thank you for giving me another chance and I swear I know what to do with it this time. You and Leah are honestly the best part of my day and I’ll do all I can to make sure I never lose either of you. So, with that being said…today is your day ma. Get dressed and head to the address on the back of this note where you’ll enjoy breakfast. Don’t worry, Leah is with my mom and you’ll meet up with them soon. Happy birthday though Ni-Ni, I love you baby.
I wiped away the tears that puddled under my eyes as I read the note. I think this note will mean so much more to me than anything else he has planned, simply because it’s rare for him to express his feelings like that. After a while I finally got myself together and went into the closet to pick out something to wear. To my surprise, there was an outfit with plastic covering over it and a note that read “Wear this” tapped to it. I smiled as I took off the covering and fell in love with the simple outfit he must have gotten Sevyn or his mom to pick out. I then ran to the bathroom to shower. About 30 minutes later I got out and blow dried my hair. I ended up just putting it in a braid after I thought about what I could be doing today, it couldn’t be anything that required me to be all fancy.
I then finally got dressed and picked up the note, my phone, and began to search for my keys. I finally found them in the kitchen where a note was placed beside it that read “Take the Lambo today.” I just shook my head as I walked out of the condo and into the garage. I opened up the door to the Lambo and rose petals and the scent of Chris’ cologne filled the car. I then looked at the passenger side and saw a Samsung Galaxy 4 box with another note attached to it in the seat. : “I didn’t forget how you said you were tired of your iPhone and wanted this instead either. Your other phone has already been deactivated and this one is set up and ready to go. I put the address on the note in the GPS system, just follow the directions and you’ll be at your destination shortly. Hope you’re enjoying your little scavenger hunt so far. ;)”
I pulled the phone out of the box and smiled at the picture of all three of us as my wallpaper. I then found the case he bought me and put it on so I wouldn’t drop it and break it within the first day I got it. After I got everything straight, I started the car and followed the GPS directions. I was soon in the heart of Richmond and ended up at a very small restaurant in the mist of a strip mall. I parked my car and noticed there were pink balloons attached to the arch of the door. I got out and made my way up to the entrance of Family Secrets and went in.
"Surprise! Happy Birthday Ni-Ni" I looked around to see the faces of Chris’ family and friends, and my family, from my parents right on down to Mackenzie. I was soon swarmed with hugs and kisses from everyone as they wished me happy birthday individually. I didn’t even notice I was crying for what had to be the third time today. To see everyone I love stop what they were doing to come to Virginia for me, it meant everything to me.
Mama J was the last to greet me with Leah in her arms and I remembered that this would be the first time that they all got to meet her. I ended up telling my mom the whole story behind Leah but she made up some lie to tell my dad, simply because she knew how much I didn’t want him to judge Chris or our situation. He still didn’t like the fact that I was “acting” like a mother at such a young age but, this isn’t an act…I’ve fully taken on this responsibility as if it was my own to begin with.
"Alright now, everybody eat up so we can meet Chris at Serenity’s final present for today!" Mama J said as the staff of the restaurant began to bring out our food. I sat down by Macki and Ashley while my mom and dad were intrigued over Leah. Mijo, Kid Red, Austin and a couple of Chris’ other cousins that I haven’t met came over to meet me and my family. We all ate and enjoyed conversation for a good hour until Mama J began to round everyone up to head to their own cars. Again, she took Leah with her because I wouldn’t dare drive her around in the Lamborghini. As I got in my car, my phone began to vibrate with a text from Chris.
12:15 Bae <3 : I hope you enjoyed breakfast with your family. Follow Mijo for your next destination, he knows you’re following him too so he shouldn’t leave you, if he does…I’ll kick his ass lol. See you soon babe.
12:17 Me : I did enjoy it, I’ve enjoyed everything so far. I can’t wait to see you. <33
C H R I S B R O W N:
I started planning everything the day after she took me back. I had to make sure this day didn’t go un-noticed. I had to make sure she knew how special she is to me. Regardless of how busy I’ve been, I cleared everything out of my schedule to plan this. Sevyn wasn’t really happy with that because she ended up having to apologize to a lot of companies and people but she understood why I was doing it. Honestly, all of this would have fallen apart if it wasn’t for her. I knew how I wanted to set everything up, I just didn’t know how to go about doing all of it. I left that all up to her and she came through, I couldn’t ask for a better assistant.
"You ready for the performance Boss Man?" Big Pat asked me as I put the rest of my blunt out in the ashtray. I can honestly say, after I stopped drinking…I stopped smoking as well. It’s just, I’m nervous as hell and at the moment, it seemed like the only thing that would calm me down.
"About as ready as I’ll ever be. Sev get everything straight?" I asked him as I got out of the tour bus and straightened myself up.
"Yeah, everything is ready and everyone is here. You got the ring?" As soon as he asked that, I began to panic as I felt around in my pocket.
"Fuck man! Where the fuck did I put it?" I hopped back on the bus and looked every where for it. After about two minutes of seeing me freak out, Big Pat finally cleared his throat and snapped the box of the ring shut before throwing it to me, asshole.
"Breezy, calm down man. You got this," he said as he dapped me up. I just shook my head as I tried to calm myself down. We then began to walk to the back of the stage without me being seen, but that soon failed as I got bombarded by fans. I hugged as many fans and took as many pictures as I could before Steve shut the whole operation down and refused to let any other fans through.
Today, I’m giving Virginia a little surprise as well as Serenity. I chose to give a little performance at King’s Dominion, the only amuesment park close to Richmond. I figured since I’ve been home for quite a while, the least I could do was give a free performance to anyone that comes to the amusement park today. I asked for it not to be advertised because Serenity would have definitely found out that way but even without it, as I looked out into the crowd from backstage, it was a good turn out. Serenity asked for me not to do anything all “extravagant,” an amusement park is far from extravagant but the way the performance is lined up, definitely is.
"Alright Bighead, you warmed up and ready? Ni-Ni and the rest of the family are on their way backstage. You go on in five minutes," Sevyn said as she plucked the back of my neck. I laughed as I shook my head. I warmed up earlier, it’s just the process of remembering everything I wanted to say that was the biggest task at hand. Soon, I heard a bunch of commotion backstage, I looked over to see my big ass family first. Then, I saw my girl..holding my baby girl…and every inch of nervousness I had quickly disappeared. It was at that moment that I knew exactly what I wanted to do, sing, and say in this performance.
I stepped on stage and the crowd went crazy. It’s been a while since I’ve performed here in Virginia, so I knew I had to make it one that each individual remembered until I could get out here for another show. Before the music started, I greeted the crowd and let them know that today’s show would be a little different from what they’re use to, and to bare with me. They seemed a little confused but as the music started, all of that seemed to go away. Don’t Wake Me Up was the first song and I sung, I looked back to see Ni-Ni swaying with Leah in her arms, I then remembered something that I had to share with the audience.
"Alright, so there’s this girl right? When I met her, I knew there was something special about her. So I did what any other guy would do, I stalked her," I said as I sat down on the edge of the stage as the music faded out, the crowd burst into laughter. "Nah seriously though, I just wanted some of her time, to get to know her better but she wasn’t having it. I went to an extreme and stole her car keys, making her go on a date with me to Red Robin," as I recalled the story, I couldn’t help but laugh right along with the crowd.
"On the way to Red Robin, I had to make her an offer…or deal. I asked her what her favorite song was. She told me it was, Don’t Wake Me Up. I told her that if I sung it for her in the car, she had to at least make an effort to have a good time with me, and try to get to know me…not Chris the superstar, but Chris…the guy that found her absolutely stunning." The audience let out a loud ass "awww," as they sat and listened to my story intently, they were loving every bit of this.
"She agreed, I sung it for her and she did her best to try and have a good time with me. Let’s just say the date didn’t go that well though. However, that wasn’t the last time I saw her. I came around often until she finally started warming up to me. I did things I thought I’d never do before, just for her. Honestly, she had me wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even know it. Then finally, she gave in and we gave that relationship thing a try and soon, it got rocky…I won’t even lie," after I finished, I looked back and told them to start the next song, Don’t Judge Me.
You’re hearing rumors about me
And you can’t stomach the thought
Of someone touching my body
When you’re so close to my heart
I won’t deny what they’re saying
Because most of it is true
But it was all before I felt for you
I stopped singing and let the crowd sing the chorus as I looked back at Serenity, her eyes looked glassy but she was all smiles.
"I’m being real with y’all right now, I messed up…badly, until she wanted nothing else to do with me. I worked hard to make it up to her though, and after a while she took me back. The previous stuff with the rumors and what not, didn’t even matter. She didn’t judge me. After that we were going strong, and I can honestly say…I fell in love. She did too, it was just at a slower pace. But, I told her I’d wait." I got mixed emotions from the crowd as the next song began to play, it seemed like they wanted me to tell more of my story before singing.
It seemed just like the perfect move at the time
For me to make you mine
(Girl you sexy from head to toe)
You said you think we should wait a while
And it might be hard but
But I won’t complain
You could’ve been anywhere else but you’re here with me
We can travel to space
As long as I got you right here next to me
Woahhh, girl I’ll wait
Ohhhh, for you, yes I will
Ohhhh, I said I’ll wait for you
"It seemed like nothing could separate us. Everything was going well and I couldn’t fall more in love with her. Then, I went and messed it all up…again," I said as the music still played in the background. The crowd sighed, like they were fed up with my bullshit as well, just from hearing the story.
"I know, I know. This time, it was serious. We ended it and I just knew my life was crashing down around me. I didn’t see her for months, it was very rare that I even talked to her. She was serious about letting me go. I didn’t deserve her, and she didn’t deserve to go through what I put her through, so I just let her have her space…that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it all back though" I cued the music and a song from a previous album blast through the speakers as I began to sing.
If I had the moment
I’d capture that moment
You would be right here next to me
If I had the secret,
The secret to your love,
I would place the treasure beneath my heart
Lock it all up,
And throw away the key
I would never give it up
Cause I was just a fool,
A fool for you
When I loved you so childishly
And I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all
I want it all back
You never miss a good thing til it’s gone,
I want it all, now I want it all back
"Thanks to the good Lord above, I was blessed and got it all back. She came back to me and I’ve turned myself around, to make sure I never lose her…or someone else ever again. You guys ready to meet her?" The audience lit up at that question as the music died down. I watched as Big Pat sat out a chair on the stage. I then looked back at Serenity, her eyes got huge, I could tell she was mad confused.
"Alright, it’s her birthday. So in order for her to come out, I need you guys to help me sing Happy Birthday to her. Yall down?" They burst out in something I couldn’t quite comprehend but soon, the whole crowd blendend together with my voice as we sung happy birthday. Serenity slowly emerged out on stage with Leah still in her arms. She sat down in the chair as she wiped away tears and waved to the crowd. As we finished the song, I stood in front of her.
"Serenity, I can’t imagine life with out you. I want you by my side every step of the way. With everything we’ve been through, it only shows that we’re strong enough to handle anything else that may happen to come our way. I pray to God every day that he helps me make the right decisions though, because I don’t want to lose you. You took me exactly as I am, but I don’t mind altering myself to be the best man for you and to avoid hurting you. Listen, I want to try and make what we have official..again," I said as I got down on one knee and pulled the box out of my pocket. The audience went crazy as Serenity’s eyes lit up.
"Serenity Elizabeth McFadden, will you marry me?" Without hesitation, she shook her head. I then placed her new ring on her finger as the camera got a close up of it so the crowd could see it better on the screen above the stage. I could tell she was impressed with the ring as well with the way she kept looking down at it. I took her by her hand, standing her up from the chair so I could plant a kiss on her lips. Once again, the audience roared with applause and approval. After, I then turned around with Serenity’s hand in mine to address the crowd.
"There’s someone else I want you all to meet though…my daughter, Leah," I said. The camera quickly got a shot of Leah to display on the screen. After the crowd settled down, I went ahead and finished my closing of the show.
"Virginia, I want to thank you all for sharing this moment with me. I love being at home, you all show so much love. I love yall just as much, if not more. Along with my family, my fans are the most important thing to me. So, I thank yall for all the support with the album and I can’t wait to come back and give you guys an official concert. Thank you!" I said before bowing and leading Serenity backstage. As soon as I met the rest of my family, they congratulated us by swarming us in big ass hugs. I felt numb though, in a good way. The blunt I hit before had nothing on the natural high I had just from seeing the smile on my girl’s face, from hearing the applause and roar of the crowd out there.
It’s official. I’m not messing anything up. I meant everything I said, I want Serenity by my side through it all. I’ve never had a girl to hold me down the way she has. She’s honestly the only female that has ever been good for me. Tiffany, Rih and Kae, they led me down a path I shouldn’t have agreed to walk with them, and I ended up getting lost. Serenity though, she found me. She got me back on the right track, helping to clean up my scrapes and bruises along the way. I wouldn’t trade her or what we have for anything in this world. She and Leah…are my world. I thank God for seeing something good in me, and giving me another chance. The only place my soon to be Mrs. Breezy and I are going from here, is up, to better places and better things…to hopefully grow old with each other.
- THE END <3
To everyone that ever read, enjoyed, and left feedback for this fanfic…I honestly appreciate you. You have no idea how much of a better writer I’ve become all because of the dedicated readers I’ve had. This isn’t the end for Chrenity though, they’ll be back soon for the SEQUEL! (:
- Amber <3
C H R I S B R O W N:
Serenity slept the whole plane ride back to Virginia, I knew she had to be tired from the night before. It’s true what they say…make up sex is always the best sex. Honestly though, it wasn’t just sex to me….it was me promising her that she was, is, and will always be the love of my life. I’ve never felt more close to her. I feel like she finally let down this wall with me, she gave me all of her and I did the same. I wanted to make her feel special, make her feel like she’s never felt before and I think I was successful.
"Nothing has changed since I left. It feels good to be back home, where I belong," Serenity said as she wandered into the condo as I sat down the bags by the door. She’s right, I haven’t changed anything since she left, mainly because I couldn’t bare to live here with her being gone, I stayed with my mom the whole time.
"It definitely feels good to have you home bae," I told her as I pulled her into my arms, kissing her forehead. "You know I love you right?" I asked as I looked her in the eye. I feel like I have to say it more often than I did before, just so she knows and never forgets it.
"I love you too Brown. I just….need to ask you something," she said as she sat down on the couch, playing with the studs on her phone case. She avoided all eye contact with me as I sat down beside her, I knew this was serious.
"What’s on your mind bae?" I said as I slid closer to her, preparing myself for what was coming next.
"I know you said you didn’t do anything with anyone in France, and you hadn’t planned on doing anything…so why were there condoms in your bag?" I thought back to what she was referring to and had to keep myself from laughing as I remembered how the condoms ended up in my bag.
"I didn’t bring any with me, they were Big Pat’s. When we first got back to your hotel, before I got in the shower that night…he shot me a text, saying he put them in there…already knowing what we were going to get into. I’m thankful he did too, somebody is a fucking freak!" I said as I wrapped my arm around her. She playfully hit my chest while shaking her head, a smile adorning her lips, her cheeks becoming rosy.
"Oh my gosh, shut up Christopher," she said as she got up and headed to the back.
"What? You trying to break in the bed already?" I playfully shouted behind her. She emerged back into the living room, shaking her head.
"Get over yourself Brown, come on, let’s go get this crib ready," she said as she put her hand in mine, guiding me to the guest room and soon to be room for my daughter. I got Sev to order everything I needed and have it delivered by the time we got back home. My daughter’s room is equipped with a crib and a changing station. Serenity, my mom and I are going out later to pick up clothes as well. Even though this caught me off guard, I refuse to let my daughter come in to this world without everything she needs.
"So what are you going to name your daughter?" As soon as she said that, my face fell to the ground. Fuck. That totally slipped my mind. With the whole release of the album, talking about touring and everything…I absolutely had no time to think of anything else.
"Damn….I don’t have a clue what her name should be. I want it to be something unique though, but still sophisticated enough that if she ever decided she wanted to work…they wouldn’t judge her from the name on her application. You feel me?" I said as I helped her neatly place the pink covers into the wooden crib. Sev did a nice job picking everything out, it damn sure was better than what I could have done.
"Well you’re in luck, I’ve been thinking of names since I found out about your little princess. What about…Riley Cherie Brown?" I thought it over, liking it less and less because I can already see myself slipping up and referring to my baby girl as "Ri" for her nickname…hell nah.
"Nah, shoot me another suggestion," I told her as I began reading the instructions, putting the finishing touches on the changing station and the dividers I had Sevyn order for the closet, just because I know Serenity is a neat freak and the dividers will help baby girl’s closet stay in some type of order.
"Well…what about Leah Marie Brown? I know that was Grandma Susie’s middle name…I thought that would be the perfect way to honor her, by them both having the same middle name," Serenity said as she sat down in the rocking chair across from me. I took a break from looking over the instructions, to think over the name. I like it. I knew she could tell too, because of the goofy ass smile I knew I was giving her.
"Leah Marie Brown it is then!" she said as she came over and pecked my lips. "You hurry up and finish this stuff. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed so we can meet up with your mom at the mall in less than two hours, you know she doesn’t like to be kept waiting Christopher,"
"Yeah okay, I’ll be in there in a second," I told her, wondering if she would pick up on my little innuendo. Seconds later, one of the stuffed animals from Leah’s crib came cascading towards my forehead, she caught on.
"I’m locking the door, so no you won’t," she had as she stuck her tongue out and headed for the bathroom. I was about to chase her but the vibration of my phone prevented me from doing so. I looked down at it and saw my mom was calling, right on time.
"Hey mama, wassup?" I asked her as I wandered into the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator.
"Close the refrigerator, you know I’m cooking once we get back from the mall." I sucked my teeth as I closed the door, I swear she got supersonic hearing or some shit. "Sheesh, what you want Ma?" I asked her as I quietly got a snack from the cabinet, shit..I’m hungry, it’s not like I’m going to refuse anything my mother cooks, and she knows that.
"Christopher Maurice Brown, I’m just going to pretend your high yellow ass didn’t just talk to me like that. Anyway, what mall are we going to and is Big Pat or Steve coming along? I don’t have time for any groupies today while I shop for my granddaughter."
"Not all fans are groupies Ma, and I think we should hit up Short Pump and I’ll keep Big Pat on standby. Oh, and guess who else is coming with us," I told my mom. I left out the part about Serenity coming to Paris and taking a nigga back, I wanted it to be a surprise when she saw her but I thought about the people we’d be around and I didn’t want her to make a scene at Short Pump mall.
"Who Christopher? You went to Paris and found someone else didn’t you?" I could just imagine her rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone.
"Ma, no…I didn’t find someone else, I was a little too busy persuading Ni-Ni to take me back. Which, she did and she’s back home with a nigga!" I heard her gasp as something happened to the phone, like she dropped it or something from excitement.
"I am so happy. I can’t wait to see my baby! Christopher, you better thank God for giving you a second chance and you sure as hell better know what to do with it."
"I do Ma, I swear she not going anywhere and I’m not going to mess it up."
"That’s what I like to hear. Now, hurry it up and get over here so I can see my baby Serenity! Love yall."
"We love you too Ma, see you soon," and with that, she hung up. While Serenity was still in the shower, I took that time to find something to wear and hop in the shower myself. I decided on a simple pair of Levi’s, a Bulls jersey, and my Breds. I then made my way to the second bathroom of the house and got in the shower. Twenty minutes had passed before Serenity came wandering into the bathroom, in nothing but a towel with damp hair and body lotion in her hand. I watched her through the clear door of the shower, I could see her perfectly as well as she could see me.
"The hell you doing girl?" I said loud enough so she could hear me over the running water. She didn’t answer me as she pumped the lotion into her hand, swung her damp hair over her shoulder, and seductively bent over to put the lotion on her legs. I looked down and saw my member standing at full attention. Fuck.
"Aye look, I just know you don’t plan on making me take care of this myself," I said as I opened up the door to the shower.
"Do you really think I’m that cruel Brown?" she said as the towel dropped to her ankles, and she made her way over to me.
"What’s gotten into you, ma?" I asked her as she guided me over to the bench like area in the shower that was for the sauna affect I had programmed in here. She sat me down and danced in front of me with so much precision and control. I’m loving this new found confidence her weight loss has given her, even though she was perfect in my eyes before it. I guess she just had to do it for herself, and I completely understood that.
"Tell me you love me," she whispered in my ear, totally avoiding the question. I sucked my teeth, the hell she thought this was, bossing me around with the shit I just used on her the previous night?
"I’ll tell you, but on my own damn time," I teased her. She laughed as she stopped dancing and headed for the shower door. I quickly got up and pulled her by the arm, if she thought she was leaving, she thought wrong. I gently pinned her up against the wall, up under the shower head, the water cascading down on us both. I kissed her lips as I let my hand slide across her center. I played with her for a minute, trying to tease her like she teased me. I saw she was biting her lip hard as hell though, any harder..she would’ve drawn blood. So I decided to stop messing with her and give her what she wanted. I guided her back down to the bench, making her spread them legs so my shit was visible. I got down to her level, trailing kisses on the inside of her thigh. She began pulling at my hair, knowing all to well what she really wanted, so I gave it to her. I kissed her center before sliding my tongue in. She tangled her hand in my hair, pushing me further. It wasn’t long before she began to shake uncontrollably, releasing on my tongue.
"Shit Chris, this is not what I had planned," she said as I came up to kiss her, "Talk to me then baby, what you had planned?" I whispered against her lips. She got up, making me trade places with her. She sat me down, easing herself on me.
"This," she whispered in my ear as she rocked her hips back and forth. "Tell me you love me," she whispered again, like she was in control. I wasn’t about to let her know she was. She smiled as she burried her face into my neck, holding herself up by the wall in the shower. I put my hands on her hip, bringing her down to ease more of me inside her as I let my hand and tongue give her breasts attention. She quickly lost all control of this situation, I commend her for her efforts though.
"Chrissss, I-I-I’m gonna—"
"Go ahead," I said as I cut her off, knowing all too well what she was going to say. Before she could though, I pulled her get up so I could teasingly pull out. I then made her bend over the bench I was sitting on. I slowly went back inside, slowing up the pace of my stroke as I felt her tighten around me, arching her back. Her legs began to shake again as she brought her hand down and quickly rubbed her clit, speeding up the process. She released all over me and her hand. She brought her finger up to my lips and I licked the rest of her juices off, I swear I don’t know where the freak in her has been hiding all along.
"Chris, your mom is waiting," she managed to say. I forgot all about that but honestly, I wasn’t quite done yet and I think she knew it.
"I’ll apologize when I get there," I told her as I pulled out and traded places with her again. I decided I’d give her a little control over this situation again. I sat back down and she eased her way back on top of me. She rocked back and forth slowly before picking up her pace. I pulled her hair back to make her neck visible, as I placed kisses along her collar bone. For a while, all that could be heard was the water still running from the shower and our skin meshing together. It wasn’t long before she had me where I wanted to be either. I began to swell inside her, knowing what was about to happen.
"Shit Serenity, wait…we forgot the condom bae," I told her as I tried to slow her up so I could pull out. She wasn’t having it though.
"Shhh, it’s okay. The pill Chris, I—have—the—pill." Once she said it was okay, I definitely took that and ran with it. I stood up and carried her back up under the shower head as I began to thrust in and out of her, picking up my speed with her legs wrapped around my waist.
"You sure about this?" I asked as I continued to work on my first, while Serenity was working on her third or forth release.
"Y-y-yes Chris," she said breathlessly as we both came together. She then unwrapped her legs from around me as I pulled out. We just stood there, under the shower head breathing hard as hell.
"I love you," I told her as I kissed her forehead.
"I love you too," she said. I grinned as we finished washing off together before finally getting out of the shower. I swear, my fingers and toes were wrinkled like crazy, along with Serenity’s. I didn’t care though, with Leah coming soon…I knew the spontaneous things like this were going to have to cease for a while, until we both got the hang of things around here.
An hour later we pulled up to Short Pump Mall and met up with my mother and Big Pat. Of course she had an attitude because we were late but she forgot all about that as Serenity came into her view. She hugged her and kissed her cheek like she hadn’t seen her in forever. I mean, it’s been a good two months but my mom is just so dramatic.
"I still don’t understand why you took his yellow ass back, I’m glad you’re home though baby," my mom said playfully as she winked at me. I just waved her off as we began walking the outside mall. I let my mom and Serenity catch up at the nail salon real quick while Big Pat and I headed over to the jewelry store, we’d meet back up when they’re done to shop for Leah.
"Yo, thanks again for looking out man," I told Pat as we took our time getting to the jewelry store. It was dead out here at the mall, I mean it’s a Monday and it’s like 3:00pm, most people are still at work, that’s why I chose to come out around this time.
"I wasn’t born yesterday Boss man, you might have been…but I wasn’t. Nigga, you pay no type of attention to Serenity, she wears everything she’s feeling right on her face. She already made up in her mind what yall were going to do that night, just by the way she looked at you." I thought over his words, shaking my head.
"You right. Those damn eyes of hers tell you everything too. I haven’t been paying attention like I should’ve been. That stops today though," I told him as we finally reached the jewelry store.
"Hello, welcome to Jared’s…what can I do for you today?" A younger girl, couldn’t be more than 20 years old, said as I wandered into the store. I was surprised she didn’t attack me or ask for pictures, I know she knows who I am. I just let it go though, less stress for me today.
"Uh yeah, can you point me in the direction of your engagement rings please?" I asked.
"Of course. Wow, Chris Brown getting engaged? Who’s the lucky girl?" she asked as she led the way to a big glass case of rings. I legit became overwhelmed at how many choices there were, just like the first time I picked out Serenity’s ring.
"Yeah, her name’s Serenity," I said mindlessly. Big Pat quickly stepped on my new Breds, like I said something wrong. I mean, there’s no one in here but her and us.
"That’s a pretty name. Well, you see anything Ms. Serenity might like?" I looked over the rings, trying to find something completely different from the first ring I gave her. I still have that ring, I could easily just put it in the shop and get the missing diamonds replaced and the band reshaped but it held too many bad memories. She needs something new so we can start off fresh. Finally, a ring with a white silver band caught my attention. The diamond on it was huge and blinded me for a second when I looked at it.
"Yeah, let me see this one," I asked as I pointed to the ring that caught my attention.
"Great choice Mr. Brown. There’s something special about this ring, we can actually engrave a message in the band of this ring if you’d like."
"In the inside or directly on top of the band as well?"
"Either way you’d like it, we can do it."
"What you think Pat?" I asked as I handed him the ring. He inspected it like he was a professional jeweler or something before placing it back in my hand. "She’ll love it Boss man," he said.
"Yeah I think so too. Alright uhh—Crystal, I’ll take this one. Where do I right down the message I want engraved?" Her eyes grew big as she realized I knew her name, until she looked down and remembered she had a name tag on. She then took the ring back and handed me a document and pen to write down the message. I thought long and hard before finally deciding and writing it down. :
Mrs. Breezy, I love you…for a lifetime.
Big Pat looked down at the paper, nodding his head in approval. I gave Crystal the pen and paper back. She read over it, smiling.
"That’s sweet. Congratulations Mr. Brown, is there any specific time you’ll be needing the ring to be ready?" Crystal asked.
"Can we shoot for this Friday?"
"Yes sir, I’ll make note of that before I send it in."
"Alright, thanks for your help ma," I told her as we shook hands and I made my way out of the store.
"That was weird," Big Pat said as we walked towards the nail salon, hoping Mama and Ni-Ni were ready.
"What you talkin’ bout big man?" I asked him.
"She knew who you were and didn’t freak out."
"Maybe she don’t get all phased by celebrities bruh, don’t give it too much thought. I know you," I told him as we walked towards the direction of the nail salon.
"What’s this Friday though nigga?" he asked as he moved to the side of me, guarding me from the oncoming traffic of potential fans. Once I looked at them, they were all elderly and couldn’t help but laugh, Big Pat took his job to the extreme sometimes. I’ve never been mobbed or hurt by a fan though so, I couldn’t even be mad.
"Her birthday. She never talks about it because she doesn’t want the attention, or she probably thought I forgot, but I’ll keep it simple. Her engagement ring and a couple of her presents are just in order," I told him.
"You don’t think you moving too fast though, with the engagement ring and all?" I thought on his question, fidgeting with my snapback.
"Honestly, I don’t. I mean I thought about it, maybe she isn’t ready to jump back into that commitment. But, I want to at least give her the option, you feel me? The worst she can say is she isn’t ready but she already told me her feelings haven’t changed about me in general though. It can go either way man."
"I feel you. Man, Breezy you really lucked up with this one. Nigga, if you let her go again..you have got to be the biggest fool I’ve ever seen. I wish I had a girl like Ni-Ni, it’s hard to find shit as genuine as what y’all have. Wake the fuck up and realize that shit man, don’t take her for granted." I was caught off guard by his lecture but I felt where he was coming from. My nigga has had a lot of let downs with the ladies. Most of them were just around so they could get closer to me, and I hated that. I pray he’s blessed with what I’ve been blessed with sooner than later.
"I know Pat, I know. Trust me, I’m not letting her go. Like you said, this is the most genuine shit I’ve had in a long ass time. It took me a while to realize it but I’m glad I did. Don’t worry though, your shorty should be around soon man. I never thought I’d love again after Rih, but here I am blessed with Serenity. Just give it time big man," I said as I dapped him up. Little does he know, Big Pat has always been more of father figure for me than anything, it was just a plus that he became excellent security when needed.
"Finally, what took y’all so long?" I asked my mom and Serenity as Big Pat and I walked into the nail salon. They were just finishing up as Serenity was about to give the cashier her credit card. I quickly moved it out of the way and sat a crisp $100 dollar bill on the counter, knowing the total couldn’t be more than forty dollars but, oh well.
"Oh shutup, you know we got caught up with talking and what not," my mom said as she put an arm over Serenity’s shoulder as we began to walk out of the salon. We were now heading to a little boutique that sold baby clothing as my phone began to ring. I didn’t know the number so I declined it. Whoever it was instantly called back again.
"Christopher, step outside and shut that thing up," my mom said as she shooed me out of the boutique. I laughed as I did what I was told. I ended up answering it, not saying anything until the person on the other end did.
"Chris? It’s Tiffany," she said breathlessly into the phone. My eyes instantly got big, I had no idea what to expect from this call.
"Wassup Tiff? You good? Whose number is this?" I asked her.
"No, I’m not good you dickhead. It’s St. Mary’s number." I ignored her insult, she sounded like she was in pain.
"Wassup then ma? Talk to me."
"They had to induce my labor even earlier, talking about I have pre-clampsia or some shit. Don’t ask me what it is, because I don’t know. I just know it’s not good for me or the baby. Get your little yellow ass down here, now or I’m calling the adopting family on stand by." Before I could say anything she hung up. I replayed her words over then immediately raced back into the boutique.
"Aye we got to bounce, Leah’s on her way," I said as I threw everything my mom, Serenity, and Big Pat had in their hands on the counter to hurry up and pay for it. It seemed like she took forever to ring it up but finally the total came to $237.50, I instantly swiped my card. Big Pat picked up all the bags and I held Serenity’s and my mom’s hand out the door.
"Wait Chris, who is Leah?" my mom asked as we were making our way out of the mall and to the car. The mall was beginning to become more crowded than when we first got there, I was glad we were leaving.
"Your granddaughter Mama." As soon as I said that, her eyes lit up. We were in the car, racing to get on the highway to quickly get to St. Mary’s. On the way there, I just kept praying that everything was okay..with my daughter and Tiffany. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, and the chick is a lunatic, I appreciated her bringing my daughter into the world. I remembered how she wanted to abort our "mistake," not too long ago but I wouldn’t allow her to. Even though she was the main cause we were in all of this with her evil ass plan, if I hadn’t stepped outside of my relationship…none of this would even be happening right now. It doesn’t matter now though, it is happening and I honestly can’t wait to have Leah in my arms. Regardless of how Tiffany feels about the baby she carried, I know this child is a gift from God and deserves to be treated as such.
C H R I S:
Sevyn and Big Pat stayed at the art gallery while Serenity and I went to go have a late lunch at some fancy restaurant by the Eiffel Tower. The fact that she was actually here with me, by my side…still hadn’t registered yet. I just knew things were looking brighter for me, from here on out. I still couldn’t get over how much she changed in just one month. I could see she was still on her health kick, her waist was a bit smaller. Once she took her hair out of her bun to fix it, I noticed she cut it, it didn’t stop in the middle of her back anymore, but more so lingered around her shoulders. I noticed she was even wearing the diamond earrings I got her not too long ago, along with the matching Rolex to the one I was wearing.
"How did you possibly know, I’d be wearing mine? Pat told you I brought it with me or something?" I asked her as she looked up from her menu, smiling. Lord knows I’ve missed being able to make that possible for her, to make her smile.
"No, I swear…out of all the things he told me, that wasn’t one of them. I guess great minds just think alike?" she said as she winked at me, looking back down at her menu.
"Damn, well what else did he tell you?" I asked her, reading my menu over…not understanding any of these damn French words.
"I don’t think it matters. At least, not right now." She’s right.
"True. I know what does matter though…we just need to talk about everything right now. I mean, lay it all on the table so we can move on from it." She just shook her head in agreement..waiting for me to start.
"I guess I’ll start. Well uhhh…I just need you to know how happy I am to have you back in my life. Not that you actually left altogether but, that being "friends" shit did fuck with me, knowing damn well I wanted you back under the same roof with me. Also, just to get this out the way…although you thought I would, I didn’t forget you. I don’t know if you know, but…Rih is like, three doors down from me. I went over there like three days ago, to straighten things out. One thing led to another and before I knew it…she had me out my boxers. Before you jump off the deep end though, I was single three days ago…and I still refused to go any further with her, simply because I couldn’t forget you. I know that was a mouth full but I just didn’t want to start over with that on my mind."
"I mean, like you said…you’re single so you can do whatever you want. I do appreciate the fact that you were able to prove me wrong…somewhat." She started laughing and I joined in with her…until I played her words in my head again.
"Wait…the way you worded that sentence. Are you saying I’m still single?" I asked her.
"As of now, I guess so. We haven’t talked about actually getting back together yet."
"Well let’s talk about that then. There’s no doubt I want to. I know you may have some uncertainties but I promise you, all the non-factors from my past that kept creeping and messing shit up…are no longer around. The biggest problem was probably the drinking, and I’m proud to say I haven’t put my lips on a bottle for almost….two months now and I don’t plan on going backwards. Baby, I only see us going to the top from here, I just hope you can see it as well."
"I can. I don’t think you realize how much I’ve missed you. Macki threatened to break my Fortune CD in half if I played it again. It’s just…I needed to hear your voice. I couldn’t get up the courage to just call you and stop playing like I didn’t need you. I was trying to save face for everyone else. I mean, if everyone knew what happened that night…and they saw me back with you, you know how they would’ve responded. I no longer care about that though…I forgive you, I swear I do…and I trust that you won’t do it again. Chris, I love you and I want us to be together as much as you do. I don’t want to pick up where we left off, because where we left off..wasn’t that great honestly. I want to start over…rewrite this journey with a pencil instead of a pen…so the mistakes can be erased but still visible enough so we’re able to learn and grow from them. You down Maurice?" Everything she said, was everything I was feeling and more…I just didn’t know how to explain myself.
"I’m down, for life. From here on out, we start over…slates wiped clean. I love you too baby and I can guarantee that I will never fuck up again like that," I said as I leaned across the table, placing a kiss on her lips. This was everything I kept dreaming of after the day I messed up, and caused her to walk out. Now that she’s back, I’ll never let her go.
"Bonjour, je suis Shawn et je serai votre garçon aujourd’hui," the waiter said as he came over to where Serenity and I sat, placing the drinks we ordered when we checked in, at the table. I honestly didn’t understand a word he just said though, it was clear that Serenity did. She began rambling shit off in French and had a legit conversation with this man. Every now and then she’d look over at me, as she told the waiter something else in French. After the conversation was over, he picked up our menus before bowing and walking away.
"I didn’t even order anything," I told her as I sipped my lemonade.
"No worries, I ordered for you."
"Really? What you get me?"
"The baked chicken, with some sort of potato on the side…I’m not quite sure what it is."
"That’s fine. Shit, this is the first place I’ve found that’s even come close to American food. You don’t know how ready I am to go back home, ma. I rather have you in the kitchen, cooking up a bomb ass southern meal than to eat this gourmet stuff," I looked at her as she placed a piece of hair behind her ear, with her eyes fixed on the table. It was something she always did when she was nervous or had something on her mind.
"What you nervous for? No, better yet…what’s on your mind?" I asked her as I lift her head up with a single finger under her chin, so we were eye to eye.
"I don’t know. I guess it’s just…I’m worried, what if we can’t go back to the way we were..like none of this ever happened?" I understood what she was saying, I didn’t know how we were going to just up and act like we weren’t apart from each other for more than our hearts wanted to allow.
"Listen, as long as you love me…and you know that I love you…it’ll come with time ma. I’m not worried, and neither should you be. We’ll take it slow, even if that means I have to "court" you all over again." I smiled at her as the waiter returned and sat our food in front of us. I thanked him then began to eat my chicken and grew satisfied with each bite. How she knew I’d enjoy this, is beyond me but it’s the simple shit like this that reassure me, I’ve been blessed with the right one. Now that a nigga knows how it feels to no longer have his queen beside him, I’ll never let anyone or anything strip her of her crown again.
"I’ll stay down here, you two love birds go have fun," Big Pat said as we met up with him after our meal and approached the Eiffel Tower. I forgot this nigga was afraid of heights.
"Aight Pat, if I get mobbed up there by some fans, I’m blaming it on you," I joked with him. He just flicked me off as Serenity and I loaded the elevator to take us to the third floor of the Eiffel Tower. This probably would have been more romantic for her if it was actually dark outside and she could see the way this city lights up after the sun goes down, but the smile on her face told me this was just fine, so I stopped stressing.
"This your first time out in France?" I asked her, as I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed my chin in the crook of her neck, her sweet fragrance filling my nose.
"No, I went with my French class in 9th grade. But, this trip means so much more to me," she replied as she turned around, facing me.
"I’m glad. How did you set this up anyway? I’ve been meaning to ask. Big Pat has a hard time keeping his mouth shut, so I don’t know how the hell he managed to keep it a secret from me." She was about to answer me, until my phone started vibrating, scaring the shit out of me. I rolled my eyes as I pulled it out of my pocket, about to turn it off until I saw who was calling.
"I’m sorry ma, I got to take this though," I said as she stepped away from me, walking over to a separate part of the floor we were on. Shit, this is not what I needed while I was just getting back in her good graces.
"Yo, is everything alright?" I said, answering the call.
"Hey Chris, and I’m not really sure. I just got off the phone with my doctor, my lab results are back, and certain things were a little high risk for the baby and I, so they’re inducing my labor in the next two days."
"W-W-What? What the hell does that mean?" All of this shit caught me off guard. I’ve been texting Tiffany more often lately, just to keep up on the pregnancy since I was always too busy to make it to the doctor’s appointments and shit.
"It means, I’m having the baby in two days dumb ass. Look, you know I want nothing to do with this child so, there’s an adopting family on standby if you aren’t here in 24 hours after she’s born. So therefore, you have three whole days to get here, make it work." Before I could even comprehend the whole situation, she hung up. I’m not prepared for this. I knew it would come but she’s only 8 months, I thought I had a whole extra month to get things straight.
"Is everything okay?" Serenity asked as she walked back over to me. I probably wore all of my concern and worries on my face, but I didn’t know how to deal with any of this.
"I’m going to be a father…in two days, and I don’t have anything prepared. Oh, and if I’m not back in Virginia in the next 72 hours, she’ll be adopted to some family on standby." As the words rolled off of my tongue, I knew I was talking to Serenity, but I was also rationalizing and understanding this shit my damn self.
"Are you serious? You have nothing prepared? Where is she going to stay? Are you moving back to Virginia or California permanently? Does your mother know? Don’t you have things to finish out here in France, how the hell is this going to work? I mean I—" I quickly cuffed my hand over her mouth to shut her ass up. I couldn’t hear myself think.
"Look, I don’t have any answers to your questions. I wish I did, but I don’t. I’m going into this just as blind as you are. But, if this changes things about us being together…I understand completely." I slowly took my hand away from her mouth and she started shaking her head, a smile parting her lips.
"You need me now more than ever, I’m not going to turn my back on you or a child that didn’t ask to be born into such a dysfunctional family already. What I told you before, still stands and always has…even when we weren’t together, I’ll do all I can for you and your daughter. I’m not going anywhere," she said as she stepped towards me, placing her lips on mine. I swear at that second, I fell deeper in love with this woman. I didn’t think it was possible, but I did. A little of the stress from the situation no longer weighed me down, simply because I knew she had my back in this. I knew she’d support my decisions and help me along the way. I know it’s not going to be the easiest ride, but with my queen by my side now…I know all of this is possible.
C H R I S:
It seemed like the hallway got longer and longer as I took the trip down to her room. It wasn’t hard to find but I purposely kept avoiding the door. I paced the floor, back and fourth…trying to plan out what I would say…trying to think of what her possible responses would be. She knew I was here, she came here for a reason…why? I pray it’s not to fuck up my life anymore than it already is. I swear, I don’t need anymore stress added to what I’m already dealing with. Maybe I shouldn’t do this then, maybe I should just walk away and pretend like she no longer exists. If I could, I would. I’d march right back into my room and pretend like Mijo never even told me she was here.
"Ch-Ch-Chris, is that you?" someone asked as they opened the door, while I walked past to head back to my room. Shit. I knew it wasn’t Rih by her voice but I didn’t know who this chick at the door was either.
"It’s Mel…you don’t remember me? Damn, I know it’s been a minute but I’ve never thought of myself as the type to be easily forgotten," she said as I walked to where she stood, so we were face to face.
"Oh yeah Mel, I remember you now. How you been?" I could really care less but, to be polite…I asked anyway.
"I’m good, thanks for asking. What brings you here though?"
"Uhm, I need to talk to Rih…where she at?"
"She’s in the bathroom, you can wait for her in here. I’m about to run to the coffee shop downstairs, you want anything?"
"Nah ma, I’m good…thanks anyway," I told her as she let me into the room, then disappeared down the hall. I heard the showerhead going as I sat down in a chair at the breakfast bar, spinning the little bottle of Vodka around in my hand. My nerves almost got the best of me as I heard her end the shower, I thought about downing the whole bottle of Vodka to ease my nerves but, somehow…I was capable of refusing it. My palms got sweaty as I heard her humming "Umbrella," to herself…while I watched her bare silhouette, as she put lotion on her legs. I jerked my head in the opposite direction, I can’t do this. I quickly got up and headed for the door.
"Chris?" she said as she emerged from the bathroom, interrupting me from escaping. I slowly turned around, praying she was fully clothed. She wore a black pair of shorts with a small ass bra, her hair was tied up and she had on socks…like she was getting ready for bed at 1:00 pm.
"Oh, hey Rih. That girl….uhm….Mel, she let me in not too long ago," I said as I wiped my hands on my pants and pulled my hat further down over my eyes.
"Oh okay, it’s fine. Have a seat, what brings you by?" she asked as she motioned for me too sit down beside her on the couch.
"Nah, I’d rather stand but uh…look, we have to talk," I told her as I began pacing the floor again.
"Okay, about what?" she asked, like she was confused…how could she be confused, she knows exactly what we need to talk about.
"Well for starters…you’re here, the same time I’m here…three doors down from my room, how on Earth could this possibly be a coincidence?" She bit her lip as she thought of a lie, something she always did when she was either nervous or I knew damn well, she was about to part her lips to speak everything but the truth.
"Don’t even answer that. Look Rih, what is it that you want from me? You came all the way out here for something, what is it?"
"I-I-I honestly don’t know Chris. I don’t know what I want. I know I still love you, my heart tells me that on a daily basis with the way it aches and throbs from just the thought of you or simply hearing your name. I don’t know where I thought this would get me but I knew I at least had to try, being that you’re single now and all." She got up from the couch and started walking towards me, I backed up from her until she had backed me completely into a corner.
"Rih, you can’t keep doi—" before I could finish my sentence, she had her hands on my pants, unzipping them and tugging at my boxers. She got down on her knees and continued to pull at me.
"Robyn, stop! Get the fuck up!" I tried gently pulling her up by the arm, but she wouldn’t budge, she had finally managed to pull my member out of my boxers.
"Shhh, just go with this…for once, in your life Chris," she whispered while she looked up at me with those big, hazel eyes. She began to stroke me and I could no longer remember what I came here for. I looked down to see her jaw locked around me and it was like nothing I ever felt before, but I knew it was wrong, I knew I had to put a stop to it…I just didn’t know how. After she was done, she pulled me over to her bed, throwing me down and straddling me. She took off her shirt as she trailed kisses from the nape of my neck to my chest.
"I’ve missed you, so much" she whispered in my ear before biting my lobe. Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted her from making any other moves and I was thankful because it gave me time to reprocess this shit and get myself together.
"I’m not going to answer it, Mel will get the hint and leave sooner or later," she said as she tried to push me back down on the bed from where I had sat up. I finally just snapped and picked her up off of me, setting her down on the bed.
"No, this is a mistake! I don’t know else to make you understand but I don’t love you like I use to! I’ll always be your friend and I’m always here for you but this can’t happen anymore, it just can’t. I’m sorry that I can’t love you the way you love me but I can guarantee you that there’s someone out there that does deserve the love you keep wasting on me," I told her as I put myself back together, straightening out my clothes. As I finished, I looked over at her and noticed tears threatened to escape her eyes, all because of me. I just walked over to her, pecking her forehead before making my way to the door. As I walked out of her room, I saw Mel sitting on the floor with a big ass grin on her face. She was about to say something but I waved her off, signaling I didn’t want to hear her slick ass comments.
"What the hell happened? You been over there for some shit," Mijo said as I walked back into my room. I just ignored him as I got my clothes and headed for the bathroom. I hopped in the shower and the steam from the water instantly calmed me down. I don’t know why I let these females get me caught up. I know I’m single and any other nigga in that position would have gladly taken what Rih was throwing. I didn’t want it though, at least not from her ass.
About twenty more minutes passed before Red was knocking at the door, claiming he had to shit. For his sake, I ended my shower when I possibly could have continued for another thirty minutes. I quickly put on my clothes, a simple pair of Levi’s with the Last Kings shirt my bro’ gave me for my birthday. I brushed my teeth and hair, putting on my Rolex and my chain. Once I was done, I finally stepped out of the bathroom.
"Move out my way nigga, taking all damn day," Red said as he pushed past me and ran into the bathroom, I couldn’t stop laughing.
"Yo Breezy, what you getting into today?" Big Pat asked as I sat down at the table, grabbing a banana from the basket.
"Not a damn thing, not trying to risk bumping back into her crazy ass." I winced as I repeated the scene back in my head. I came so close to doing something I knew I’d regret minutes after I did it.
"You trying to roll with me to get something to eat then? The girl I met at the club tryna’ meet us at the lil cafe down the street." he said as he kept his head down, focused on his phone.
"Nah, I’m goo-" As soon as I was about to decline, my stomach started gurgling and making all types of noises, I just knew Mijo had to hear it all the way in the back of the room. "Actually, I think I might have to step out with you for a minute dawg," I told him as I threw the rest of that nasty ass banana in the trash, it wasn’t satisfying my hunger anyway. I then got up to go get my phone off of the charger, and my wallet with all of my important shit in it.
"Where yall niggas going? I’m coming too!" Mijo said as he stepped all on the bed, trying to beat me to the door. I pulled him back by the hood on his sweater.
"Hell nah, stay here with Red punk ass and order room service," I wasn’t in the mood for him clowning around and asking questions, and especially disturbing Big Pat while he tried to put the mack down on his chick.
"Don’t mind if I do, nigga," he said as he flopped back down on the bed, picking up the hotel phone. I just shook my head as I followed Big Pat out of the room.
"Where Steve and Sev at?" I asked as we got into the truck with the driver Sevyn arranged us to have for the rest of our time out here.
"She said something about having other "business" to handle. She probably just trying to avoid Mijo ugly ass. And Steve still with his lil breezy from last night." I laughed as I thought about how hype Steve is going to be when he gets back to the hotel, he finally got some ass. I’m glad my niggas are enjoying themselves out here, that’s far from what I’m doing though, especially with Rih’s ass 3 doors down.
S E R E N I T Y: 2 days later
I called Big Pat and told him my plans. Once he got over the fact that he was hearing from me again, he directed me to some girl by the name of Sevyn. I knew about her but she was always so behind the scenes with everything, so we never really got the chance to meet or anything. She’s really nice though and she made this whole thing a lot easier than I thought it would be. I had a private jet waiting for me early this morning, that took me all the way to France with no problems. My room was set up once I got here not too long ago. Although Sevyn had taken care of everything, it still didn’t keep me from thinking I was making a mistake. However, after texting Big Pat back and forth, he helped me realize that I was doing what my heart told me was necessary and that for once, my brain wasn’t being the logical one.
After I stepped out of the shower the next morning, I pulled out my outfit for today’s activities. It’s rather hot in France but not as humid as it is back home. I decided on a pair of floral leggings, a simple v-neck and blazer, with a scarf. I threw on my black pumps and was finally satisfied when I looked in the mirror. I then pulled my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head and accentuated my eyes with a little mascara and eye shadow. I then colored my lips in with a soft pick shade.I finished off the look with the diamond earrings he gave me as a graduation gift with the “his and hers Rolex” watches that Wiz and Amber gave us a while back.
As I was checking myself out in the mirror, the hotel phone rang and I jumped over the bed to answer it before I missed the call.
"Hello?" I said as I sprayed on a little of my favorite perfume.
"Hey babygirl, you ready?" Big Pat asked.
"Yeah, I’m ready. Does he know?"
"Nah, he doesn’t have a clue…everyone helped keep it a secret. But look, we here at the art gallery, he whined like a big ass baby the whole way over here, he don’t want to do anything but sit in his damn room now."
"Thanks, I appreciate it Pat. Sevyn just text me though, my driver is outside. I’ll see you in a few," I told him before I hung up. I then grabbed my purse and my iPhone off of the charger before heading out of the door. I jumped on the elevator and as the doors began to close, I saw Mijo coming from a some girl’s room who had long, blonde and brown hair. I couldn’t be who I thought it was. I put my foot between the doors to keep them from closing. As I emerged back into the hallway, Mijo and I instantly laid eyes on each other…he looked like he had seen a ghost by the way he was looking back at me.
"Serenity? Wow, you look gorgeous, ma. What the hell you doing all the way out here though?" he asked as he ran to me, picking me up in his embrace. I just kept my eyes on the door he came out of.
"Thanks, and you can probably guess why I’m here, don’t tell your boy though. But uhm…was that who I think it is?" I asked as I pointed to her door.
"Yeah ma, but you have nothing to worry about. He and I both got her straight. Where you headed to?"
"Oh…okay. I’m headed to the art gallery." I looked down at my watch to see I was running late. "and I’m late, I’ll see you later Mijo," I said as I hugged him again then hopped back onto the empty elevator.
I practically ran to the car I was assigned and gave him the directions Sevyn gave me. Thankful for my participation in The National Honor Society for French and Spanish in high school, I was able to speak his language fluently and he easily understood.
About twenty minutes later we approached the building and I instantly got nervous as I text Pat, telling him I was here. I got out of the car and had to fight my way through the French paparazzi that obviously knew he was here. As I walked into the gallery and gave the clerk my name, she told me where the rest of my party was. I began to scan the gallery for them but I only heard their voices. I followed their voices until I managed to spot a head of blonde curls in a separate room. I took a deep breath and entered, the sound of my pumps hitting the marble floors, echoing through out the room. Sevyn and Big Pat turned around while he just sat on a bench, analyzing a rather sad and depressing painting.
"Welcome to Paris, France Serenity," Sevyn said as she walked towards me, hugging me. He just straightened up in his seat.
"That shit isn’t funny Sev," he said as he slowly and hesitantly turned around. Once our eyes met, his instantly got bigger from the surprise, while my eyes welled up with tears. It’s been a solid month since I’ve laid eyes on him in person.
"Me and Sevyn ain’t go through all of this trouble for yall to just look at each other," Big Pat said. He was right. I walked around the bench and stood in front of Chris, as he slowly stood up. He smiled at me, looking me over, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually here.
"Now, you not going to disappear into thin air, right before my eyes…are you?" he asked as he was about to touch my hand but hesitated. I shook my head as I walked closer to him, wiping the tears that were pooled under his eyes, I don’t even think he knew they were there.
"Serenity, I-I-I’m so glad you’re here ma. I’ve missed you so much. I know you thought I was going to forget about you once I got out here but I didn’t. I—"
"I love you too," I said as I cut off his rambling, placing a finger over his lips. He pushed a stray piece of hair from my bang, behind my ear. I instantly dropped my head as I felt myself blushing like this was my first time ever meeting him all over again. He then lifted my head up with a single finger under my chin. He bent his 6’3 stature down to my 5’7, so we were at the same eye level. He then smashed his lips against mine. At that moment, I felt complete. I felt all the pieces of the puzzle finally being found and put back in place. I felt my heart attaching itself back together as the missing piece had finally been added. I felt whole.
C H R I S:
My world was turned upside down before I saw her. As soon as I touched her, it flipped back to it’s upright position. My world wasn’t spinning before I saw her. It felt like I was living the same dreary ass day over and over again. As soon as I kissed her and held her in my arms, it started spinning again and the rain cloud above my head finally disappeared. I felt whole. I felt like the picture to this puzzle had finally become clear because I found the missing piece. I felt my heart beating again because without her, it stopped. I felt…complete.
S E R E N I T Y:
Being home in Louisiana these last few weeks have been everything I’ve needed and more. Ashley forgot to inform me that she moved out on her own as well, into a nice apartment downtown. I told her I was coming home and she instantly invited me to stay with her. Staying with Ashley still didn’t help me avoid the questions from my parents. “Where’s Chris? Are you guys still together? Did he hurt you?” I wasn’t going to give my dad the satisfaction of thinking his assumptions of Chris were right, because they weren’t. Chris isn’t a bad person, and that’s all I needed my dad to understand.
"Do you think you guys will ever get back together?" Macki asked as we lay across the floor, eating popcorn and watching movies.
"I don’t know, I can’t see the future. Now hush up and watch the movie," I said as I threw popcorn at her.
"She knows what she needs to do. She needs to go ahead and carry that ass on up to Paris and get her man back," Ashley stated loudly, turning off the movie I was clearly watching.
"That’s not going to happen. I’m telling you, once he gets to Paris…he’ll forget all about me."
"I don’t think so. Have you heard the interview he did with the radio station in Virginia a couple of days ago?" Macki said as she raced to get her laptop and sat back down beside me.
"No, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Ni-Ni, just shut up and listen…damn." I did as I was told and listened as Chris’ voice filled the room. It almost gave me chills, it’s been a while since I’ve heard his voice, regardless of the CD I just bought. Being that we don’t talk on the phone, we just text each other on and off…I kind of forgot how…he sounded. I forgot how his voice use to be the only thing I ever looked forward to hearing after a long day at school or something. I can’t forget how bad I miss it though. :
"I’m glad to hear that. So Chris, are you in a relationship? I mean, I’ve seen you around with the cutest girl, she’s on your instagram and everything. Like, just keep it real with me right now homie."
"Nah, I’m single but…someone has my heart at the moment. And yes, that someone is the girl you’ve seen in the pictures."
"Well, why aren’t you guys together?"
"She’s going to school, my schedule is about to get crazy…she can probably find someone far better than I am anyway."
Once the recording ended, I looked up to see Ashley and Macki eyes fixed directly on me. I didn’t know what to tell them, simply because I didn’t know what to think.
"Ni-Ni, it’s so damn obvious that he loves you girl. I still don’t understand what he did so bad…to make you forget how much you love him," Ashley said. I still never told them exactly what Chris did. They believed the story I fed them that day, of how I was so intoxicated and somehow fell or hit myself, causing the swelling and bruising. I feel like they have a clue as to what really went down, they’re just waiting for me to tell them.
"The swelling…the bruises that night…were from him. I wasn’t drunk, he was. Now before you go thinking he’s the worst person in the world, don’t. It wasn’t until after the situation, that I found out what got him so angry. That still didn’t give him a right for doing what he did, but Chris isn’t capable of handling his anger very well while intoxicated. He’s getting help though, so don’t judge him, like I know you’re probably doing right now. I forgive him, that’s all that matters," I told them as tears threatened to escape my eyes. I expected them to be upset and start questioning why I didn’t tell them sooner but…they didn’t, they just smiled at me as they pulled me into a group embrace.
"I suspected that much but you’re right…as long as you forgive him, nothing else matters. It would be different if you didn’t love him and he didn’t love you, or if you both weren’t obviously hurting from the separation. But, you are! Ni-Ni, I swear if I hear that damn Fortune CD one more time, I’m going to break it in half…and just think about the next time Chris does an interview. You can tell he’s hurting, it’s all in his voice…I’ve always remembered him being so upbeat, I don’t get that vibe from him anymore. Like Ashley said, you know what you need to do mama." I just looked at Macki as she handed me a couple of tissues, my tears had finally escaped as I thought over her words. I just shook my head as I stood up from the floor and headed to the guest room, where I was staying.
"Where are you going?" They both asked at the same time.
"France, where else?" I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t know what I should expect, but I know I at least have to try, for my sake.
C H R I S :
The performance at the club last night, was insane. I didn’t expect so many people to come out but the club was packed from all four walls. I didn’t even know they had another line up besides me, Swizz Beats and Ludacris ended up rocking the show with me. Swizz and I performed our single in the making while Luda did his thing. I can honestly say, I enjoyed myself…without the use of any alcohol. I know Swizz and Luda probably thought I was going to be the life of the party and get the crowd all hyped up but, I was capable of doing that without being intoxicated. They offered bottle after bottle, and yet I still declined. The temptation of it all called my name but this time, I was strong enough to refuse.
"Aye Chris, wake yo’ blonde’ head ass up nigga," a familiar voice said as they swung my feet off of the bed, causing me to hit the floor. I got up ready to box with this nigga but when I looked up, I saw Mijo and Kid Red standing over me, laughing their asses off.
"My niggas! When did yall get here?" I asked as I hopped up from the floor, dapping them up. I was glad Mijo finally came back around. Nothing felt the same with him and Austin being mad at me and not being around, or at my mom’s house all day and night. I’m glad those fools finally forgave me.
"Not too long ago, I know you won’t about to head out to Milan and not invite a nigga," Red said as he sat down at the table, opening up the complimentary Champagne that’s been there, since I got here. I looked down at the clock beside my bed, it’s only 11 am. Whatever though, I wasn’t going to drink it.
"You been busy with yo’ own shit man, my bad though. Anyway, Mijo…where Sevyn at?" I asked as I began to look through my suitcases for something chill to wear today.
"Why would I know where the hell she is?" he asked as he helped himself to the food in the refrigerator, they haven’t been here for a good hour yet and already they running up my damn room bill.
"Nigga, we know! Stop acting like you didn’t hit that shit…more than once already!" Red said as he threw one of the oranges in the basket at Mijo, here they go fucking up the room now.
"Y’all don’t know shit, nosy asses."
"Yeah whatever man, just don’t fuck up and break her heart…then she decide she don’t want to be my assistant anymore, she’s the best one I’ve had so far."
"Man whatever, fuck yo’ franchise! Check this out though, you’ll never believe who’s here nigga, staying in the same hotel and everything, about three doors down." I stopped raiding my suitcases and looked at Mijo.
"Robyn." Red immediately spit out his champagne, choking on whatever was left. If I had been drinking anything, my reaction probably would have been the same.
"Rih? Are you serious? How’d you know?" I asked as I began to pace the floor.
"I saw her checking in, so I went over to her…I mean, just because you no longer fuck with her, doesn’t mean I have to. She told me she was staying here on "vacation" for like, two days. I asked her what room she was staying in. You’re in 203, she’s in 206."
"Did she ask what you were here for?"
"Of course she did, as if she didn’t already know. My guess is, if you don’t go down there, she’s coming up here, pretty soon actually." Fuck. This is not what I need right now. If it wasn’t for the club out in Milan, pushing the performance back a couple of days, I wouldn’t even be here right now to have to deal with this shit. She had to go snooping on my Instagram or Twitter, being that we don’t follow each other on either.
"Man, that bitch is psycho. I don’t see how you deal with it, I would’ve lost my mind by now," Red said as he finished off the last bit of Champagne in his glass. I just shook my head as I headed for the door to go to her room, we had to get shit settled, and get it settled now.
C H R I S:
I’m probably considered the world’s biggest creep now that I had my neighbor keep surveillance on the condo. I asked him to call me if he ever saw a black Range pull up into the driveway. I went to desperate measures just to see her. I just needed closure, that’s it. I was already 10 minutes away when I got the call so I sped to the condo and closure is finally what I got…what we both got. I couldn’t be upset with the way things ended, she loves me and she knows I love her, we ended on good terms and that’s more than I expected or even had the balls to ask for.
"Uhh….Chris?" Damn, I forgot where I was for a minute.
"Oh yeah, my bad TT. I zoned out. What was your question?" The album dropped today, even with all the shit I’ve been going through, it was only motivation to finish the album by the release date.
"It’s cool, you look tired man. Like, you haven’t slept in days." Little does she know, I haven’t.
"My question was, what can we expect from you on this album, Fortune?" she continued as she looked over the album artwork.
"Well personally, I think this is my best piece of work so far. I put everything I had into this album. Everything I do is always for my fans but I think this is the first album I also made for myself. I made songs that I wouldn’t mind hearing over and over on the radio, songs that I wouldn’t mind dancing to in the club. You know? All the songs are just….genuine to the person I am today and had a lot of hard work put into them."
"Okay, I can definitely respect that. The singles you’ve already released are crazy so I know the album is a banger!"
"Thanks TT, you always show love when I come through mama, I appreciate that."
"You know I got you Chris. Now look, if you’re just tuning in, this is TT and I have my homie Chris Brown in the building here at iPower92,1. Now Chris, you know we have to talk about it so let’s just do it and get it over with, alright? You + Drake + the same club + a couple of bottles…what was that all about?" I figured that question was coming.
"Yeah, that….that was just about me…being dumb. I don’t know how else to explain that one because…there’s really no explanation for it. I mean, I didn’t throw the first bottle but I didn’t have to throw the second bottle either. As for Drake, I’ve heard his interviews and everything but I’ll just leave it at this….I’m grown, he’s grown..we could’ve handled our disagreements better than the way we did. I sincerely apologize to those that got caught up in it and got hurt, it shouldn’t have went down like that."
"I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve seen the pictures of your body guard, he got hurt pretty badly in that. How is he?"
"Big Pat is doing just fine. He’s all healed and couldn’t be happier to come back to work." I looked over at Big Pat through the window as he shook his head in agreement.
"I’m glad to hear that. So Chris, are you in a relationship? I mean, I’ve seen you around with the cutest girl, she’s on your instagram and everything. Like, just keep it real with me right now homie." I knew this question was coming too.
"Nah, I’m single but…someone has my heart at the moment. And yes, that someone is the girl you’ve seen in the pictures."
"Well, why aren’t you guys together?"
"She’s going to school, my schedule is about to get crazy…she can probably find someone far better than I am anyway," that was only half of the truth but..I definitely meant what was said.
"I understand that. Man Chris, you’re always so humble and honest when you stop by and for that, we appreciate you baby. Now I know you probably have a million things to do but we thank you for coming through."
"Thanks for having me TT, and the rest of iPower92.1, I’ll be back soon…the next project is the tour so stay on standby for that. I love yall man, especially the fans. That’s why TT has about 50 copies of Fortune that are personally signed by me that she’s giving away later on today. I do this for yall man."
"That’s true ladies, I have 50..well 49 copies of Fortune signed by Breezy himself that I’ll be giving out in the next hour, stay tuned," TT said into her mic before she played Don’t Wake Me Up.
"You take care of yourself now, thanks again," she said as she hugged me. I dapped up and thanked all of the other people in the radio station then headed outside to where fans swarmed me. I signed a couple of copies of Fortune, gave out a couple of hugs, and took a couple of pictures before the alarm on my phone went off, indicating it was time to bounce and head to my private plane waiting for me in the Tapp. We finally made it to the car and headed South down the highway. I took out my phone and got on Instagram, looking at some of the pictures I had been tagged in recently. I found the picture TT and I took at the studio, I liked it then scrolled down to find some Fortune fan art, I liked those pictures too. I then scrolled down my newsfeed as I got another notification from someone tagging me in their pictures. I clicked it then realized it was from Serenity. I couldn’t help but smile as I read the caption under the picture of her holding her own copy of Fortune.
@serenitaaaay___: Just got the last one out here at Target in Louisiana. Hearing rave reviews about it already. I knew you could do it @chrisbrown. Forever #TeamBreezy (:
I liked the picture then commented: @chrisbrown: I appreciate you, so much ma.
I only commented on it because it wouldn’t be visible to anyone that she didn’t allow to follow her. The comment I left isn’t what I really wanted to say though. I wanted to tell her how much I’ve missed her, how bad I need her back in my arms, how much I still love her. It took everything in me to refrain from doing so. Space and time was all she asked for and I knew I had to give it to her. It’s only been three weeks since we ended things and it feels like a century.
"Yo Boss Man, Sevyn said she in the plane waiting on us, she not running late for once. We should be there in 10 minutes," Steve said as he eyed my reaction in the rear view mirror. I just shook my head. Sevyn is my new assistant and soon to be new artist under my label, whether she knows it or not. She did the background on a few tracks from the album and her voice is just too amazing to not be heard on her own single or something.
"Where we going again anyway, Breezy?" Big Pat asked.
"France, Paris and Milan. I’m performing at two of their night clubs, because I wasn’t able to make the birthday bash they wanted to throw for me, it’s my way of making up for it I guess." We soon pulled up to the parking lot where my private plane was waiting for us. The pilot helped Steve and Pat load our luggage as I boarded the plane. I grabbed a bottled water that sat beside a bucket with Champagne in it before sitting down beside Sevyn. She was so caught up in her emails that I don’t even think she realized we were here.
"Aye Sev, can you just relax for a few minutes. We have a long ass flight ahead of us, you can do your emails and shit some other time," I said as I closed her laptop and handed her another bottle of water.
"Chris, you won’t be saying that when you arrive to Paris and the shit for your performance isn’t ready, let me do my job please," she said as we all settled down in our seats, buckling up and preparing for takeoff.
"Why you so salty? Damn, it’s not even 5:00 yet and you stressin’. It’s because of Mijo, huh?" she probably didn’t think I figured out that those two had something going on. It was all so obvious though, if they didn’t want anyone to know…they had to do a better job of concealing that shit.
"Mijo? What? No, it’s the fact that all these damn wedding planners keep calling and emailing me when I told them I no longer needed their services. I wish I did but…I don’t, do I?" she said as she took off her sunglasses and looked at me, like she was disappointed in me.
"Nah, you don’t. At least, not right now. And, don’t look at me like that either. I’m working on this shit, I promise you…I really am."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…ayo’ Breezy, you think you gon’ need us a lot out there though? Shit, I’m trying to find me a freak from France!" Big Pat said as he raided the mini-fridge, finally finding a piece of cake he was satisfied with.
"You a fool nigga, but I mean…you remember how crazy it was last time. I’ll make sure I set time aside so you can find you a freaky French chick."
"Yall are disgusting," Sevyn said as she got up and went to the other side of the plane, I guess so she could concentrate on her "assistant/manager" duties.
"My nigga! I’m pretty sure you gon’ get all the hoes out there though, ain’t gon be none left for me and Steve," Pat continued as he bit into his cake.
"Nah, that’s one thing you don’t have to worry about pimp," I reassured him.
"Why not, I thought you and Ni-Ni were…over?"
"We are but, I just don’t have the desire to be with anyone else. Is that cool with you, nigga?"
"But you had the desire to be with someone else while you were with her? You one backwards ass nigga Breezy."
"Yeah, foreal man. I miss Ni-Ni being around. Why’d you have to go and fuck that up?" Steve said as he raided the mini-fridge for a snack as well. These niggas were beginning to piss me off.
"Look, yall not about to question me on shit that doesn’t concern yall, on this 15 hour flight. Steve, continue snacking with yo’ hungry ass and Pat, shut the hell up or take a damn nap, just stop fucking with me." They probably continued to say some slick shit but I tuned them out with my music and Beats by Dre headphones. To occupy my time, I decided I’d shoot Serenity a text. We’ve been texting on and off lately, just about simple shit…like, how our day has been, the bullshit we encountered during the day or what we ate for dinner…I didn’t care what we were talking about, just as long as we were keeping an open line of communication…as friends.
Me (5:45): Wassup Ni-Ni
Ni-Ni (5:55): Hey Christopher
Me (5:57): What you up to?
Ni-Ni(6:01): I’m just chilling, listening to Fortune. You out did yourself homie.
Me(6:04): I appreciate it ma. Got a favorite song yet?
Ni-Ni(6:10): Wait For You, it’s been on repeat since I got the deluxe edition
Me(6:12): That’s a coincidence
Ni-Ni(6:14): How so?
Me(6:16): It was inspired by you.
Ni-Ni(6:20): Really? Macki tried to tell me it was but, I didn’t believe her. Any other songs about me?
Me(6:22): A couple of em but, I’ll let you figure that out for yourself
Ni-Ni(6:25): Challenge accepted. What are you up to tho Brown?
Me(6:27): On the plane, heading to Paris for the week.
Ni-Ni(6:30): Ooooh, that sounds fun
Me(6:32): Ha, hardly
Ni-Ni(6:34): how come?
Me(6:35): You’re not going to be with me.
Ni-Ni(6:38): You’ll find some exotic chick out there and forget all about me lol. I’ll ttyl though, heading out with Macki and my sister.
That was just like her to say some shit like that before ending the conversation, so I really couldn’t respond. It bothered me that she thought a week in France could make me forget about her that quickly. Nah, it’ll probably make me think about her even more. Which sucks, because I’m supposedly going out there to have fun, I’m performing at two night clubs…two separate nights, in two different cities. This is almost every celebrity’s dream…but right now, it’s not my dream. I’d rather be back at the condo, hugged up with Serenity…with a wedding band secured tightly around my finger.
S E R E N I T Y:
I stayed at Macki and Ashley’s hotel for the rest of that night after I said goodbye to Mama J, Austin, and Mijo. Their flight left early this morning to head back to Louisiana so as of now, I have nowhere else to go. I can’t go back to Mama J’s house because Chris will most likely be there. Macki and Ashley kept questioning me about the bruises and swelling but I didn’t feel like talking and I knew Ashley would drive miles to find Chris if I told her how I got them. I left my credit card in my other purse…at the house and I knew I couldn’t go back to get it with the rest of my things, at least not right now. I didn’t want to go home to Louisiana yet either, I’ve been so use to be being on my own with Chris that living under my parent’s roof again would drive me crazy. As I sat in my car in Tropical Smoothie’s parking lot, I pulled out my phone and called someone I never thought I’d call again in a million years. I was hesitant to speak as he answered the phone.
“Yo, Serenity…is this really you ma?” he said into the phone. It felt like I was choking on my words, I couldn’t get anything out so…I did the next best thing, I ended the call. I threw my phone in the passenger seat and drove out of the parking lot. I didn’t know where I was going but I hopped on the highway, heading South. About 10 minutes later, my phone rang. It was him.
“Hello? Serenity? Please! Don’t hang up!” he said, I was silent for a while…I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you,” I lied. I did mean to call him…why, I don’t know.
“Well I’m glad you did by accident. It’s crazy because, I know you’re out here in Virginia and so am I. No, I’m not stalking you but the coach from Virginia State University gave me an offer for football, despite what I did…so I’m down here, checking out the campus and everything, then I’ll go check out my apartment. Listen, I’m so glad you called…I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but I promise you I’m not the same guy you left knowing. If you just give me thirty minutes of your time, I can explain everything to you. Please, if you don’t mind…can you meet me here, on campus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea—“
“Serenity, I’m begging you…please?” I thought it over for a minute. If I was still with Chris, I would’ve said no…so I wouldn’t cross that boundary or disrespect him the way he’s disrespected me. But, I’m not with Chris and I mean…he sounded genuine so…letting him explain himself couldn’t mess anything up more than it already is.
“Fine. I’ll be there in about an hour,” I told him.
“Whew, thank you so much. I’ll see you soon,” he said before he hung up. I was quickly approaching the interstate exit I needed to take to get to VSU. I had to fight traffic to let me over for about 10 minutes, okay I was going to need about an hour and 20 minutes to get there now.
D E L A N O:
I was so surprised when I saw her name pop up on the screen of my phone. I’ve always kept her number in my contacts, but by now I thought she would have changed her number or at least deleted mine and had it blocked. She text me five minutes ago, telling me she was around the corner. I instantly got nervous, I had no idea how this was going to turn out. I just think God has afforded me another opportunity to make things right with her, so I’m definitely going to take advantage of it. I pray that he gives me all the right things to say, so she knows how genuine I am.
“Hey,” I heard her say from behind me. I braced myself for whatever lashing out she was about to give me, I know I deserve it.I was hesitant to turn around so I just motioned for her to sit down next to me on the bench. She did, and I finally saw her for the first time in like…5 or 6 months. Despite the bruises I saw on her arms and the swelling on her face, she’s absolutely beautiful. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun on her head, she wore leggings, a v-neck, jean jacket, and Jordan’s. It was simple but she took my breath away. I noticed she’s slimmed down….a lot in the past months. That wasn’t what made her beautiful though,she was perfect the way she was in my eyes…I just let society keep me from letting her know that.
“Hey. What’s up ma?” I asked her as I hugged her, she tensed up at my touch…like she didn’t want to be touched or she felt pain when I held her like that.
“Wait, what’s with all the bruises…you fall or something on your way over here?” I said, trying to lighten up the mood, hopefully making her laugh. She giggled but, it wasn’t what I was hoping for.
“Look, you asked for thirty minutes…you’ve used up 10 minutes already, questioning me about my bruises and shit,” she said as she slid a few inches away from me. She was right, I needed to get what I had to say out…I just didn’t know how to start.
“Okay I understand ma. Look, what I did to you was wrong. I mean, it was dead wrong and I beat myself up over it every day of my life. I know you said you forgive me that day at the hospital but…for some reason I didn’t want you to. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I feel like I never will. But, Serenity…like I said before, I’m not the same guy that you met in Louisiana. I don’t know how much this means to you but I’ve turned my life over to God…I realized that I wasn’t living right. The path I was taking…was a path straight to hell and I was taking all of my friends with me, being as I had so much influence over them. I’m saved now and I’ve tried to get my friends on board with me but that connection with God has to happen…when the individual wants it to happen. I swear to you, I got up one morning…my Dad dragged me to church and I came home a different man. I
know you may not believe me and you have every right not to, but getting saved can happen just that quick. I can never make up for what I did to you but I want you to understand how genuinely sorry I really am. Serenity, I apologize for what I did to you and everything it may have caused, ma…I put that on everything I love.” I searched her expression to give me a hint of what she could possibly be thinking. I don’t know what I want to come out of this meeting with her today. Hopefully, we can leave here on good terms and actually be friends but…if not, I understand why that’s not possible.
“Wow, I was wondering why you sounded so different on the phone. I’m not used to hearing you speak without at least 2 to 3 curse words in one sentence,” she said as she playfully pushed me. “No but really, when I told you I forgave you in the hospital…Delano, I really did mean it. I was so done with being angry at you, it only made the healing process harder for me.I’ve moved on from what happened and so should you, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do that night. Although your reasons for doing it were completely different from mine, you didn’t force anything on me. So, let’s just start over…you know? Let’s move on from the past,” she said as she stuck her hand out, for me to shake it. I pushed it out of the way and hugged her again. I never expected her to be so cool with everything, God really did make everything work out in my favor today.
"Okay seriously, you and your bear hugs have got to stop…I’m in so much pain right now,” she said as she eased out of my arms and got up from the bench. I followed her and we began walking the campus of VSU.
“So, you going to tell me how you really got all those bumps and bruises? I remember you being clumsy but…never this clumsy,” I told her. Before she responded, she took a deep breath and seemed to meditate on her answer.
“Chris,” she said as she gently folded her arms over her chest.
“Wait, what? You mean to tell me, the swelling on your cheek…is from him too?” She just shook her head and stopped dead in her tracks as she began to cry. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, I mean I could but…that’s something you pray never happens to someone you love. I prayed nightly that Serenity was being treated way better than I treated her, she deserves to be treated like the queen she is. Although what I did was just as horrible, I wouldn’t dare think about putting my hands on her, or any female for that matter.
“First he cheats on you, and now he’s beating on you? What else do you think is next?” I asked her.
“Nothing is next, we were engaged but…I gave him the ring back and I plan on moving out of our house soon. I just need to find somewhere else to stay for the time being, somewhere he can’t find me.”
“That’s why you called me, isn’t it? It wasn’t a mistake….was it?”
“No, it wasn’t a mistake. I just had no one else to turn to. I thought you’d be in Louisiana. I don’t want to stay with my parents and Macki’s house is too crowded to stay with her. I don’t have any money because I left my credit card in a purse that’s at our house and I just…I don’t know, I was desperate.”
“Well if you really do need a place to stay, my apartment is like…right around the corner. It isn’t all fancy like what you’re probably use to but it’s decent. I’m staying here the weekend and then I’ll head back to Louisiana to get ready for graduation. If you want, you can stay there as long as you like…I can go to Home Depot and make another key for you and everything.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t. I mean, we’re grown Serenity. I know we aren’t go to be like…best friends by tomorrow but you need help and I’m in the perfect position to help you…I don’t mind. Put everything else aside and just come to the realization that this is your cheapest route and safest route, he won’t have a clue as to where you are.”
“I guess you’re right. Is there any way we can go there now…I could really use a nap,” she said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.I couldn’t help but laugh, everything was already turning around. She was becoming the goofy, “happy go lucky,” Serenity I remember her being before she got involved with two idiots that took all of that away from her. I’ll do anything to make her smile again, to make her shine again.
“Haha, come on kid. We’re going to have to ride in your car because I walked from my apartment, here…yeah, that’s how close it is,” I told her as I put my arm around her shoulder and followed her to the car. Man, God moves in mysterious ways. He knew how bad I was beating myself up over this…I didn’t have any closure. He gave me the chance I needed to explain myself and I know I didn’t win her back as a friend completely, I did however, get my point across. She sees the new man I’ve become, and that’s all I ever really wanted.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I woke up to a silent home and an excruciating headache. I couldn’t remember a damn thing from last night after rushing home from the club. I damn sure couldn’t remember how I got on the kitchen floor and managed to sleep here through the night. The amount of alcohol I ingested in one night, shouldn’t be ingested over a week. Shit, I was afraid to open up my eyes, I knew the light would just make my headache worst. So I felt around on the floor, trying to steady myself so I could get up without opening my eyes. I felt something sharp cut my hand and my eyes instantly flicked open to the sight of blood trickling down my wrist. I looked down at the floor and saw a bottle that belonged to me, smashed to pieces all over the floor, but what I couldn’t figure out was how it got there. I noticed I obviously didn’t get to finish drinking it before it fell because I stood in a puddle full of liquor. I decided I should clean up the mess before Ni-Ni woke up and had a heart attack over the mess I made. I turned around and walked to the closet in the kitchen to get the broom and mop. The first step I took, my foot landed on something hard and I heard whatever it was, crack. I picked my foot up and couldn’t believe my damn eyes. What the fuck was this doing on the floor and not on her hand? I bent down to pick it up and saw that the whole band was bent.
"Serenity! Come here girl!" I called into the bedroom as I tried to fix the frame of the ring..it was no use.
"Serenity!" I yelled again. Still didn’t get an answer. I got up and marched my way into our bedroom, I looked at the bed where I was sure I’d find her…but she wasn’t there. I put the ring on the dresser and went to the bathroom, maybe she was there. I opened the door, checked the shower..no sign of her. Before I knew it, I checked all 8 rooms in this damn house, and still didn’t find her. I went back into the room and checked the dresser…all of her stuff was gone. I went and checked the closet, she left all the clothes in the closet but took all of her shoes. Where the fuck is she? I did the next best thing and took my phone off of the charger to call her. It rung twice before I was sent to voicemail, either her phone was off or she sent me to voicemail on purpose. What the fuck happened? What the fuck did I do to make her pack her shit and leave…without telling me a damn thing. I mean, I remember the incident at the club and all but everything else after that is blurry as fuck in my mind. I just thought I passed out on the floor and she chose to let me stay there to teach me a lesson but…I still don’t know why she actually left. Shit, I grabbed my phone and keys and hauled ass out of the door. I made my way to my car and found on one of my windows busted, with a brick and a note attached to it in the seat. I picked up the note and read it quickly.
"Brown, you slipping up man. I don’t think the world is going to get to hear that album you working on bruh, if they do..it’ll be after your fucking funeral."
I didn’t even have time to think twice about that damn note. I cleared all the glass out of the seat and hopped in, speeding towards my mom’s house. It took me less than 10 minutes to get there and it would have taken me 20 to get there if I was doing the speed limit.
"Mama! Mama! Mama!" I yelled as soon as I unlocked the door to her place.
"Chris! Bring your high yellow ass up here, right now!" my mom said from upstairs. I ran up the flight of step and over to her.
"Ma, you seen or heard from Serenity?" I asked her, trying to catch my breath. She sniffed me and held her nose, making a face.
"You smell like you took a bath in alcohol and what the hell happened to you? Where is this blood from?" she asked. I forgot I wiped the blood from my hand on my white shirt.
"It’s nothing. Ma, have you seen or heard from Serenity? Please, I need to know!"
"Yes, I sure did. She came over here at 2am…to say goodbye to Mijo, Austin, and I. Now, I don’t know where she’s going or why but I noticed the bruises on her arms, and how swollen her cheek was. Christopher Maurice Brown, did you put your hands on that girl? No, I know you did…my question is why did you put your hands on that girl?"
"Wait, what? You don’t know where she’s going? Where’s Mijo and Austin?" I said as I ran down the hall to look into their rooms. My mom quickly caught up to me.
"They aren’t here, mainly because they knew this would be the first place you’d look for her and they couldn’t stand to see your face. Now answer my question Chris!" Her eyes were wide and serious, she wanted an answer I couldn’t give.
"Ma, I don’t remember much from last night…I swear I don’t. But, if you say you saw swelling on her face and bruises on her arms then it only makes sense, that’s why she left and I found her engagement ring on the kitchen floor," I said as I sat down on the floor, letting my head drop to my hands.
"I would tell you to get in your car and go all around Virginia to find her, I’d tell you to call everyone she knows and see if they’ve heard from her. I’d tell you to go find her and get her back but honestly, you don’t deserve to have her back. Chris, she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you found a way to mess it up for yourself. I love Serenity, I loved having her around but…she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way Chris."
"Mom, don’t you think I know that! I’ve tried so damn hard to give her everything she could ever want. The finest house on the block, the finest clothes, shoes, jewelry, her own hair and makeup stylist. I guess I forgot about the one thing she needs most…love. And mom, I swear for the life of me…I tried…I tried to forget my past and live in the present, focusing on my future with her but so much shit comes back to haunt me."
"That’s because you’ve never completely dealt with it. Yeah, you sat through a couple anger management classes but you did it just so you wouldn’t end up in prison. You weren’t there with an open mind and open heart like I prayed you would be. Maybe before you get in another relationship, you need to work on yourself. Chris, I’m your mother and baby I know when you’ve reached rock bottom and Lord knows I’ve done my best to prevent this but…I guess it had to happen. Come on back home baby, so we can work on fixing this together. Just give Serenity some space for now. If she loves you, and I mean really…loves you. She’ll be back, she’s crazy if she comes back but if she loves you, she will. Hopefully by then, you’ll be the man that deserves her love…and you’ll know how to properly love her back." That was just like Mama, helped me pick up the pieces and sort them out…helping me put together half of the puzzle, but leaving me to figure the other half out by myself.
S E R E N I T Y:
Chris always knows how to distract me when I need to stay focused on a certain task at hand, which is getting him to the club without letting him know it’s for his surprise birthday party. He was suspicious about everything I did. He wanted to know why I was getting so dressed up to just go to a “graduation party,” and after the scene in the shower, it was getting harder and harder to focus on making my lies believable.
“Seriously though, all that make up is not necessary for a graduation party Ni-Ni. I wish you’d hurry up, I’m starving like Marvin out here man,” he said from the bedroom. I just ignored him and continued to put mascara on. I then got a text from Nima saying everything and everyone was in place and waiting on our arrival. I quickly threw on some lip gloss then made my way out of the bathroom.
“You do realize you’re not leaving my side tonight, right?” Chris said as I looked over myself in the full length mirror. I didn’t look half bad, I just had on a simple pair of jeans and shirt with my pumps..I didn’t go all out.
“What? I’m not even that dressed up,” I told him as I grabbed my purse and keys off of the dresser.
“You don’t have to be, you could go to the club in sweats and I’m pretty sure every nigga in there would still try to get with you, and I’m not having that,” he said as he followed me out to the car. I just shook my head as I started the engine and text Nima to tell her we were on our way.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to compliment me instead of all of that? You already know I’m not paying these other niggas any attention so they should be the last of your worries,” I told him as I pulled out into traffic. I couldn’t believe he was acting like this.
“Yeah, I hear you ma…I hear you. Alicia ain’t tell me nothing about this graduation party the few times I saw her around though.”
“Well Chris, maybe she wanted to keep it a surprise. I didn’t know until today, at the damn ceremony.”
“Oh. Well it’s a Friday night…everybody and their mama usually be outside the club..in line, waiting to get in. There’s no one out here and I know her VIP isn’t that deep,” he said as we pulled up to club Aurora. I noticed the balloons outside in Chris’ favorite colors, blue and black that adorned the arch of the door. He was still too stuck on stupid to see this was actually for him.
“Chris, just get out of the damn car..please and thank you,” I said as I grabbed my purse and made my way to the front door. While Chris took his sweet ass time getting out the car, I text Nima to let her know we were here, hoping it was enough time to get everyone in place. Chris finally made his way over to me and we made our way inside the club.
“What the fuck? Why is it so dark in here?” he said loudly.
“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!” a crowd full of people said once the lights were turned back on. I looked up at Chris’ face and saw two different reactions. One reaction was happy, and couldn’t wait to mingle with his friends and family. The other reaction was cold…like he hated every minute of this. He immediately left my side and went to talk to Mijo and Bow, leaving me like I didn’t exist.
“What’s up baby girl? Long time no see!” A very pregnant Amber Rose said as she pulled me into a hug. I shook off my thoughts about Chris and focused on mingling with my new friends as well.
“Hi Amber! I know, I know. I’ve missed you! How are you?” I asked her as we walked to the bar and sat down.
“I’m great and I’ve missed you as well. What’s up with your boy though? Are you guys okay?” I knew she was referring to Chris.
“Yeah girl, everything’s cool. Nothing to be worried about.” She just shook her head and looked down at my hand that was resting on my lap.
“You still have your ring so, I believe you…for now that is mama, You have my number though.” as soon as she got up, Nima, Macki, and Ashley raced towards me and trapped me in their hugs.
“Hey y’all! Nima, how on Earth did you get everyone here in VA for his birthday party? You rented out the whole club and everything, you even decorated it. How did you get all of this done in such a short amount of time?” I said as I looked around the club, taking note of all the personalized decorations of Chris.
“Girl, it was stressful but with Macki’s and Ashley’s help..it got done. Where yellow bone baby at though? I got an ice cream cake so we might want to sing happy-damn-birthday soon before it melts and shit,” she said.
“True. You guys go gather everyone around and I’ll go get him,” I told my sister and friends. They agreed and parted ways to do what I suggested. I then got up from the bar and made my way over to Chris, who was laughing and goofing off with Mijo, Bow, Wiz, and Tyga.
“Excuse me fellas,” I said as I interrupted whatever they were laughing over. “Can I steal my fiance` from you all for a quick second?”
“What up Ni-Ni? Go’on head girl, he was startin’ to a annoy a nigga anyway,” Tyga said jokingly while pushing Chris towards me.
“You good now? That look you gave me earlier has me thinking other wise,” I told him as we walked over to the stage together.
“Yeah, I’m good shawty. Thought I told you I didn’t want any parties though?” he said while biting his lip. He obviously wasn’t over what it was that had him upset.
“Chris, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ve done so much for me and I just wanted to do a little something for you…what’s the problem?”
“Nothing man, nothing.”
“Alright, Chris and Ni-Ni..yall come on up here,” Nima said through the mic as she waited for us on stage. Chris walked ahead of me, instead of with me. I wanted to snatch him back by the collar of his jacket but to save face in front of everyone…I let it go. It wasn’t long before the cake was brought out and everyone in the crowd starting singing happy birthday to Chris. With all of me, I hoped that bought a smile to his face.
“Thanks everyone. I love yall man…fo’real, that comes from the heart. Without yall, without my fiance`…I don’t know where I would be. So uh, it’s my 22nd birthday…let’s turn up!” he said as he motioned for me to come on stage and help him cut the first piece of his cake. The caterers then took over the job and I found myself in the middle of the crowd, dancing with Chris like he just wasn’t upset with me minutes ago.
“Yo Chris, your baby mama’s at the door,” Big Pat said as he interrupted our dance. Chris’ facial expression quickly went from smiling to scowling in seconds. I followed Chris and Big Pat back to the front door to see a swollen Tiffany, about 6 months pregnant..pacing back and forth.
“Tiff, I don’t think you were invited…the fuck you want?” Chris said as he closed the door behind us, so no one inside would hear the fiasco outside.
“I’m the mother of your child Chris, why wasn’t I invited? I called and text you, wishing you a Happy Birthday and I got no response. We haven’t talked in three months because you’ve been busy with lil miss thang over here. Nigga, I’m having your child, not her! And it’s a girl, just in case you were wondering,” she said as she threw the ultrasound CD at Chris then walked off down the street somewhere. I picked up the CD and put it in Chris’ hand. He was expressionless as he just shoved it down his pocket.
“I told you we were going to get your ass!” Someone yelled from a black truck the same time bullets sprayed the club, popping the balloons above our heads, barely missing us. Chris immediately opened the door to the club, pushing me down to the ground so he could cover me with his body. Big Pat unexpectedly pulled out his own gun and shot at the black truck that sped down the road. The inside of the club was a complete mess. No one was hurt but the damage those tiny bullet holes made was unbelievable, we were going to pay out the ass to fix all of this.
“Whoa, y’all good man?” Steve said as he raced towards us, his hand gripped on the back of his belt, where I knew he kept his gun.
“Fuck no, get everyone up out of here man. I’m going home bruh,” Chris said as he pulled me off of the ground and held me all the way to the car. He fished threw my purse to get the keys and his unstable hands finally found the ignition and started the car. I didn’t ask questions on the way home, I was too busy answering calls and text messages, making sure certain people got home and back to their hotel rooms safely. Thanks to Chris’ speeding, we got home relatively quickly. He came on my side of the car and opened the door, pulling me out and all the way into the house. When he let go of me, I had his finger prints around my wrist that I was sure would turn into a bruise by tomorrow morning.
“Fuck! This is why I told you I didn’t want a damn party!” he said as he threw the car keys across the table.
“What? That doesn’t even make sense. I know you’re not trying to blame this on me!” I snapped back at him.
“Yes! Nigga, it is your fault! I blame you! If you did as I asked, none of this would have ever even happened!”
“Chris, what-the-fuck-ever. I’m so over you tonight, go to sleep..on the couch I mean, and get back at me with all this shit in the morning,” I said as I stomped into the bedroom. He followed me. He grabbed me, aggressively, and pushed me up against the wall. I smelled the alcohol on his breath. He wasn’t himself, I saw a whole new person in his eyes. I was scared.
“Nigga let go of me! You’re hurting me Chris!” I said as tears started to sting my eyes.
“Nah, fuck that! These niggas have been calling my phone, texting me all damn week…telling me they were lurking and just waiting for me to slip up so they could attack. I told you I didn’t want a party because I knew if they got wind of it, they’d come through and fuck that shit up! Oh, and what happened? That’s exactly what the fuck they did!” He said as he pushed me away from him, I tripped and fell into the dresser, hitting my back against the corner of it. He paced the floor, running his hands through his curls. I was scared to move, scared to even breathe because I didn’t want to do anything that triggered him to do something I knew he was capable of.
“I saw what my life would have been like if one of those bullets would have hit you. I saw a life I didn’t want. I saw a life I refused to have…a life I was trying my best to avoid but…you just made it so easy for them,” he said as he walked towards me. I tensed up at his touch, I no longer knew what to expect.
“Ni-Ni, I’m sorry—” the sound of his phone vibrating cut him off. He went to answer it, putting it on speaker phone..I thought he knew who it was.
“Yeah nigga, you thought we were playing. I hope I made myself clear tonight. You got one more time to slip up and next time I won’t be so trigger happy, I’ll actually hit my target nigga,” I recognized that voice from the black truck.
“See, this shit is not a game Serenity!”
“Well, do you know who it is threatening you? I mean, we could always go to the police,” I said uneasily as I walked towards him.
“The police? Are you serious? Get the fuck out of here with that. The police don’t give a shit about a nigga like me. I’ll handle this shit on my own.” he said, pushing me again.
“Look Chris, there isn’t going to be too many times of you putting your hands on me like this,” I told him as I made my way to the kitchen to get ice for my bruises. I looked back and saw he had opened up a bottle of Ciroc, taking a swig of it before looking up at me. I rolled my eyes at him and fished through the freezer for an ice pack. I heard his foot steps behind me, I slowly turned around from the refrigerator. He looked me dead in the eye while taking another drink from his bottle.
“Give me this, you’ve had enough for one night,” I said as I took the bottle from him and walked over to the sink. He caught my hand and tried to take it from me but I held a good grip on it, I refused to let it go.
“I’m a grown ass man, I’ll drink what the fuck I want!” he said as he violently tried pulling the bottle out of my hand. I dropped the ice pack so I could put up a better fight with both hands. In a split second, the bottle flew out of my hand, hitting the floor and spilling everywhere. In that same second, I watched his hand as it seem to approach my face in slow motion…as he slapped me across my face. Tears instantly stung my eyes as the side of my face stung from his hand. I looked at him, as he stared back at me…like he didn’t realize what he just did. I marched into the bedroom, holding the side of my face as I packed a bag. I threw any and everything in that damn bag, I probably even packed some of his shit. I then grabbed my phone, my purse, and my keys. I walked back into the kitchen to find him in the same place I left him.
“Fuck you,” I said as I snatched my ring off of my finger and threw it at him. He still didn’t move, he just stood there as I walked towards the door. I took one last look at him before shaking my head and leaving the house…my house, our house. I got in my car and the tears fell instantly. I had flashbacks of the incident…how he was so cold and expressionless. Like, he wasn’t even here…physically, he was here but mentally…he was somewhere else. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What else is going to happen? All the questions I had absolutely no answer to.
S E R E N I T Y:
Yesterday at school was the second worst day of my life, the first being the day of Delano’s party. Thanks to Chris’ tweets about how much he missed me, everyone at school knew about our breakup. The girls at school were cruel and called me every name in the book while in the hallway, at lunch as I sat by myself, and even in class. They told me I was simply a “jump off” and Chris couldn’t possibly have love for a girl like me, a girl that didn’t wear a size 2 like Rih or Kae. Then, somehow a vicious rumor started circling around the class of guys that I was a “whore” and “easy,” which caused them to think they could harass and try thing with me. I even began to get death threats on Facebook and Twitter from Chris’ die-hard fans because I “broke his heart.” I wasn’t even an exception to the media, my face was plastered all over TMZ and Mediatakeout. The only gossip site that took up for me was Perez Hilton, simply because of his obvious dislike for Chris. It was all becoming too much to handle so I begged my mom to let me stay home, due to a “massive migraine,” and she soon gave in.
"Serenity, what do you want for lunch baby? I’ll go out to the store and get it," my mom said as she came in my room. I noticed her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying.
"Mom, are you okay?" I asked her.
"Of course I am sweetie, work is just getting a little stressful, that’s all. Now, what did you say you want for lunch?" I didn’t believe my mom’s cover up story one bit, but I didn’t want to press the issue, I’d find out sooner or later.
"I’m good mom, I don’t want anything," I told her as I slid a finger over my vibrating phone, declining Chris’ call.
"Serenity, I’m getting you something while I’m out. I think you’re too busy with school and other things that you forget to eat. You’re becoming a stick right in front of my eyes," she said as she wandered back out of my room, closing the door behind her. I was about to lay back down until I noticed my computer light up with a notification from Skype. I walked over to the computer and saw Macki was calling, reluctantly..I answered it. I haven’t talked to Macki in what felt like forever and I definitely needed her in everything I’m dealing with now more than ever.
"Hey Ni-Ni, thanks for accepting my call. Look, I’m so so—"
"Stop Macki, no need for apologies. Let’s pretend none of this ever even happened, I love you girl," I told her as I smiled. She only smiled half-heartily as she looked down at her phone.
"I love you too. Have you heard from Delano lately?" she asked me. Now that I think about it, Delano hasn’t really been at school and he hasn’t text or call me lately either.
"No, not recently…why, what’s up?" I asked her. Instead of answering me, she ending up sharing her desktop with me so I could see what she was on and out of no where, a snapshot of a text message under Delano’s twitter popped up. I read it and couldn’t believe my eyes.
"What happened at his party, was simply a bet that he fulfilled from the football team. Someone forwarded this to everyone in school yesterday. I’m so glad you didn’t come today because everyone in school would have said some of the worst things to you, they even came at me..telling me to deliver messages." I just read the text messages over and over, one of the football players asked Delano if he "did it" and he answered, "Hell yeah, that bitch was vulnerable thanks to that soft ass nigga Chris, it was easy my nigga." I read those lines over and over until tears stung my eyes.
"I’m so sorry Ni-Ni, I’ll be over there soon," Macki said as she ended the call. I became so disgusted with myself. As I thought back to a while ago, on winter break when Delano stopped by, I remember something he said to me and everything instantly made sense. That day he decided to randomly sit at the lunch table with me and get my number, is the same day the football team probably made that stupid ass bet with him. I can’t believe I was so blind to his antics. As my phone vibrated once again, I just ignored it and let my head fall in my hands, silently crying to myself.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I’ve been home in Virginia for about a week now. I decided to stay with my mom instead of my own place, I needed to be around her. I couldn’t stand being alone in my own home, with everything so quiet. I knew I’d never be alone here, not with my crazy ass cousins coming in and out.
"Aye Brown, wake yo ass up nigga, you got company," Austin said as he took the pillow from under my head and slammed it on my face, then jabbed it in my torso. I swear it felt like this lil nigga broke my nose and maybe a few ribs.
"Austin, take yo’ violent ass on somewhere. I’m up, damn. Who’s downstairs anyway?" I asked him as I got up, trying to fix my mom’s bed all thanks to Austin destroying it.
"Man, just go downstairs and see. When you done, bring yo’ ass in the back so we can talk about my clothing line," he said as he walked out of the room. I had forgotten all about my promise to him, that I’d help him get this clothing line dream of his off of the ground. I don’t have a problem doing it because I know he’s a good kid and will work for it and not let me just hand it to him.
About 5 minutes later, I finally decided to get up and go see who was downstairs waiting on me. I threw my shirt on and grabbed my phone, checking to see if Serenity called or even text me back, nothing. As I made my way downstairs, I caught a glimpse of my alleged “company”, it’s Tiffany. I knew she’d come looking for me sooner or later, once she found out I was in town. I’ve been trying to avoid this conversation, like this shit is just going to up and disappear. There’s no running away from it now.
"What’s up Tiff? How are you?" I asked her as I tooker her coat and hung it up then sat across from her at the dining room table. She looked like she had cried the whole way over here.
"What kind of question is that Chris? I had to come looking for you, knowing you should have come by as soon as you got back to Virginia. You know what my choice and decision was already, I didn’t go through with it because you asked me not to…Chris, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve lost everything, including Kevin because I told him the truth, I couldn’t lie any longer," she said as she started to cry to herself. I didn’t know what to do either. I didn’t even know what to say. She lost everything because of me and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
"Tiff, you’re not the only one who’s lost everything. I’ve lost the love of my life, and I probably won’t ever get her back once I tell her I’m going to be a father. Either way, I have to man up and take care of my seed. Tiff, I love you like I love our child but…that’s it. I no longer have those feelings for you ma. I’ve done some deep ass soul searching, trying to produce them so I could give you and this child a secure family but I can’t, my heart is with Serenity, I just hope you can understand that." She just cleared the tears that pooled under her eyes away from her faces as she stood up, walking towards the door.
"I guess I understand Chris. So, you’ve made the decision for both of us…I’m bringing this child into the world and I’ll be the one up at 3 am, feeding and burping it, while you’re somewhere overseas…on tour. How the hell is that fair?"
"It’s not fair, that’s why I’ll do my best to make sure I’m around. I can’t promise you I’ll be there at 3 am when you’re feeding and burping, but I can promise you, I’ll be a better father than our fathers were to us, I just need you to trust me." She shook her head in agreement and opened up the door. Before she walked out, I pulled her into a tight hug. I know things seem bleak right now but they won’t be forever. I meant everything I said to her. This child was not going to be aborted, adopted, or raised without their father in his or her life. After talking with my mother about the whole situation when I got home, she told me she’d help in taking care of and looking after my child while I was away, working. She understood that would be the only time I was ever away, if I was working.
"Breezy! You done yet?" Austin screamed down the hall. I was about to race to the back until my phone rang, although I didn’t know the number, I recognized the Louisiana area code.
"Serenity?" I screamed into the phone, hoping it was her.
"No Chris, it’s Macki. Uh, are you still in Louisiana?" she asked, her voice started cracking, like she was either trying to be really quiet or she’d been crying.
"Nah, I’m back at home..what’s up though? Is everything okay?" I asked as I sat down beside Austin once I got to the game room.
"No, not really. Serenity’s been going through a lot lately. The people at school have been so rude and mean to her. I guess she just couldn’t handle it anymore," she said as her voice trailed off, like she was thinking about something.
"Wait, what happened Macki? Talk to me, please," I told her.
"She tried…she tried killing herself Chris. She overdosed on of her mom’s narcotics for her back pain, damn near shut her liver down. She’s recovering now, after having her stomach pumped. They’re keeping her here for a couple of days, most likely a week. I think seeing you would actually do her some good, is there anyway you can come back?"
"Yeah, I’m booking my flight as we speak. Don’t even tell her I’m on my way though, she’d probably just tell the nurses to keep me far away from her as possible. Thanks for calling me though Macki, I know I’m not your favorite person right now either," I told her as I ran upstairs, packing some of my clothes back into a suitcase.
"Chris, I’ve been rooting for you since day one. You’re the only one that was ever able to make Serenity smile the way you have. You’re human though, and you made a mistake. Just bring your ass down here so you can make up for it and try not to ever pull a stunt like that again." I could hear her smiling through the phone.
"Aight Macki, thanks ma. I’ll be there as soon as possible," I said as I hung up the phone. I think God’s testing me. The old me would have turned around and punched a hole in the wall, the door, or anything I saw first. Honestly, I feel like doing just that. Instead, I’m going to hop into the shower and brainstorm ways to bet my baby back and to make her feel as safe as possible. The first thing that needs to be eliminated, is that damn school, there’s no way she’s going back to school with those people. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’ll make sure she’s some place comfortable, even if it means moving her down here to VA. Wait, I think that’s exactly what I’ll do, just need to get her parents approval, which shouldn’t be hard at all, if they don’t hate me by now.