S E R E N I T Y:
I stayed at Macki and Ashley’s hotel for the rest of that night after I said goodbye to Mama J, Austin, and Mijo. Their flight left early this morning to head back to Louisiana so as of now, I have nowhere else to go. I can’t go back to Mama J’s house because Chris will most likely be there. Macki and Ashley kept questioning me about the bruises and swelling but I didn’t feel like talking and I knew Ashley would drive miles to find Chris if I told her how I got them. I left my credit card in my other purse…at the house and I knew I couldn’t go back to get it with the rest of my things, at least not right now. I didn’t want to go home to Louisiana yet either, I’ve been so use to be being on my own with Chris that living under my parent’s roof again would drive me crazy. As I sat in my car in Tropical Smoothie’s parking lot, I pulled out my phone and called someone I never thought I’d call again in a million years. I was hesitant to speak as he answered the phone.
“Yo, Serenity…is this really you ma?” he said into the phone. It felt like I was choking on my words, I couldn’t get anything out so…I did the next best thing, I ended the call. I threw my phone in the passenger seat and drove out of the parking lot. I didn’t know where I was going but I hopped on the highway, heading South. About 10 minutes later, my phone rang. It was him.
“Hello? Serenity? Please! Don’t hang up!” he said, I was silent for a while…I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you,” I lied. I did mean to call him…why, I don’t know.
“Well I’m glad you did by accident. It’s crazy because, I know you’re out here in Virginia and so am I. No, I’m not stalking you but the coach from Virginia State University gave me an offer for football, despite what I did…so I’m down here, checking out the campus and everything, then I’ll go check out my apartment. Listen, I’m so glad you called…I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but I promise you I’m not the same guy you left knowing. If you just give me thirty minutes of your time, I can explain everything to you. Please, if you don’t mind…can you meet me here, on campus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea—“
“Serenity, I’m begging you…please?” I thought it over for a minute. If I was still with Chris, I would’ve said no…so I wouldn’t cross that boundary or disrespect him the way he’s disrespected me. But, I’m not with Chris and I mean…he sounded genuine so…letting him explain himself couldn’t mess anything up more than it already is.
“Fine. I’ll be there in about an hour,” I told him.
“Whew, thank you so much. I’ll see you soon,” he said before he hung up. I was quickly approaching the interstate exit I needed to take to get to VSU. I had to fight traffic to let me over for about 10 minutes, okay I was going to need about an hour and 20 minutes to get there now.
D E L A N O:
I was so surprised when I saw her name pop up on the screen of my phone. I’ve always kept her number in my contacts, but by now I thought she would have changed her number or at least deleted mine and had it blocked. She text me five minutes ago, telling me she was around the corner. I instantly got nervous, I had no idea how this was going to turn out. I just think God has afforded me another opportunity to make things right with her, so I’m definitely going to take advantage of it. I pray that he gives me all the right things to say, so she knows how genuine I am.
“Hey,” I heard her say from behind me. I braced myself for whatever lashing out she was about to give me, I know I deserve it.I was hesitant to turn around so I just motioned for her to sit down next to me on the bench. She did, and I finally saw her for the first time in like…5 or 6 months. Despite the bruises I saw on her arms and the swelling on her face, she’s absolutely beautiful. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun on her head, she wore leggings, a v-neck, jean jacket, and Jordan’s. It was simple but she took my breath away. I noticed she’s slimmed down….a lot in the past months. That wasn’t what made her beautiful though,she was perfect the way she was in my eyes…I just let society keep me from letting her know that.
“Hey. What’s up ma?” I asked her as I hugged her, she tensed up at my touch…like she didn’t want to be touched or she felt pain when I held her like that.
“Wait, what’s with all the bruises…you fall or something on your way over here?” I said, trying to lighten up the mood, hopefully making her laugh. She giggled but, it wasn’t what I was hoping for.
“Look, you asked for thirty minutes…you’ve used up 10 minutes already, questioning me about my bruises and shit,” she said as she slid a few inches away from me. She was right, I needed to get what I had to say out…I just didn’t know how to start.
“Okay I understand ma. Look, what I did to you was wrong. I mean, it was dead wrong and I beat myself up over it every day of my life. I know you said you forgive me that day at the hospital but…for some reason I didn’t want you to. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I feel like I never will. But, Serenity…like I said before, I’m not the same guy that you met in Louisiana. I don’t know how much this means to you but I’ve turned my life over to God…I realized that I wasn’t living right. The path I was taking…was a path straight to hell and I was taking all of my friends with me, being as I had so much influence over them. I’m saved now and I’ve tried to get my friends on board with me but that connection with God has to happen…when the individual wants it to happen. I swear to you, I got up one morning…my Dad dragged me to church and I came home a different man. I
know you may not believe me and you have every right not to, but getting saved can happen just that quick. I can never make up for what I did to you but I want you to understand how genuinely sorry I really am. Serenity, I apologize for what I did to you and everything it may have caused, ma…I put that on everything I love.” I searched her expression to give me a hint of what she could possibly be thinking. I don’t know what I want to come out of this meeting with her today. Hopefully, we can leave here on good terms and actually be friends but…if not, I understand why that’s not possible.
“Wow, I was wondering why you sounded so different on the phone. I’m not used to hearing you speak without at least 2 to 3 curse words in one sentence,” she said as she playfully pushed me. “No but really, when I told you I forgave you in the hospital…Delano, I really did mean it. I was so done with being angry at you, it only made the healing process harder for me.I’ve moved on from what happened and so should you, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do that night. Although your reasons for doing it were completely different from mine, you didn’t force anything on me. So, let’s just start over…you know? Let’s move on from the past,” she said as she stuck her hand out, for me to shake it. I pushed it out of the way and hugged her again. I never expected her to be so cool with everything, God really did make everything work out in my favor today.
“Okay seriously, you and your bear hugs have got to stop…I’m in so much pain right now,” she said as she eased out of my arms and got up from the bench. I followed her and we began walking the campus of VSU.
“So, you going to tell me how you really got all those bumps and bruises? I remember you being clumsy but…never this clumsy,” I told her. Before she responded, she took a deep breath and seemed to meditate on her answer.
“Chris,” she said as she gently folded her arms over her chest.
“Wait, what? You mean to tell me, the swelling on your cheek…is from him too?” She just shook her head and stopped dead in her tracks as she began to cry. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, I mean I could but…that’s something you pray never happens to someone you love. I prayed nightly that Serenity was being treated way better than I treated her, she deserves to be treated like the queen she is. Although what I did was just as horrible, I wouldn’t dare think about putting my hands on her, or any female for that matter.
“First he cheats on you, and now he’s beating on you? What else do you think is next?” I asked her.
“Nothing is next, we were engaged but…I gave him the ring back and I plan on moving out of our house soon. I just need to find somewhere else to stay for the time being, somewhere he can’t find me.”
“That’s why you called me, isn’t it? It wasn’t a mistake….was it?”
“No, it wasn’t a mistake. I just had no one else to turn to. I thought you’d be in Louisiana. I don’t want to stay with my parents and Macki’s house is too crowded to stay with her. I don’t have any money because I left my credit card in a purse that’s at our house and I just…I don’t know, I was desperate.”
“Well if you really do need a place to stay, my apartment is like…right around the corner. It isn’t all fancy like what you’re probably use to but it’s decent. I’m staying here the weekend and then I’ll head back to Louisiana to get ready for graduation. If you want, you can stay there as long as you like…I can go to Home Depot and make another key for you and everything.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t. I mean, we’re grown Serenity. I know we aren’t go to be like…best friends by tomorrow but you need help and I’m in the perfect position to help you…I don’t mind. Put everything else aside and just come to the realization that this is your cheapest route and safest route, he won’t have a clue as to where you are.”
“I guess you’re right. Is there any way we can go there now…I could really use a nap,” she said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.I couldn’t help but laugh, everything was already turning around. She was becoming the goofy, “happy go lucky,” Serenity I remember her being before she got involved with two idiots that took all of that away from her. I’ll do anything to make her smile again, to make her shine again.
“Haha, come on kid. We’re going to have to ride in your car because I walked from my apartment, here…yeah, that’s how close it is,” I told her as I put my arm around her shoulder and followed her to the car. Man, God moves in mysterious ways. He knew how bad I was beating myself up over this…I didn’t have any closure. He gave me the chance I needed to explain myself and I know I didn’t win her back as a friend completely, I did however, get my point across. She sees the new man I’ve become, and that’s all I ever really wanted.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I woke up to a silent home and an excruciating headache. I couldn’t remember a damn thing from last night after rushing home from the club. I damn sure couldn’t remember how I got on the kitchen floor and managed to sleep here through the night. The amount of alcohol I ingested in one night, shouldn’t be ingested over a week. Shit, I was afraid to open up my eyes, I knew the light would just make my headache worst. So I felt around on the floor, trying to steady myself so I could get up without opening my eyes. I felt something sharp cut my hand and my eyes instantly flicked open to the sight of blood trickling down my wrist. I looked down at the floor and saw a bottle that belonged to me, smashed to pieces all over the floor, but what I couldn’t figure out was how it got there. I noticed I obviously didn’t get to finish drinking it before it fell because I stood in a puddle full of liquor. I decided I should clean up the mess before Ni-Ni woke up and had a heart attack over the mess I made. I turned around and walked to the closet in the kitchen to get the broom and mop. The first step I took, my foot landed on something hard and I heard whatever it was, crack. I picked my foot up and couldn’t believe my damn eyes. What the fuck was this doing on the floor and not on her hand? I bent down to pick it up and saw that the whole band was bent.
“Serenity! Come here girl!” I called into the bedroom as I tried to fix the frame of the ring..it was no use.
“Serenity!” I yelled again. Still didn’t get an answer. I got up and marched my way into our bedroom, I looked at the bed where I was sure I’d find her…but she wasn’t there. I put the ring on the dresser and went to the bathroom, maybe she was there. I opened the door, checked the shower..no sign of her. Before I knew it, I checked all 8 rooms in this damn house, and still didn’t find her. I went back into the room and checked the dresser…all of her stuff was gone. I went and checked the closet, she left all the clothes in the closet but took all of her shoes. Where the fuck is she? I did the next best thing and took my phone off of the charger to call her. It rung twice before I was sent to voicemail, either her phone was off or she sent me to voicemail on purpose. What the fuck happened? What the fuck did I do to make her pack her shit and leave…without telling me a damn thing. I mean, I remember the incident at the club and all but everything else after that is blurry as fuck in my mind. I just thought I passed out on the floor and she chose to let me stay there to teach me a lesson but…I still don’t know why she actually left. Shit, I grabbed my phone and keys and hauled ass out of the door. I made my way to my car and found on one of my windows busted, with a brick and a note attached to it in the seat. I picked up the note and read it quickly.
“Brown, you slipping up man. I don’t think the world is going to get to hear that album you working on bruh, if they do..it’ll be after your fucking funeral.”
I didn’t even have time to think twice about that damn note. I cleared all the glass out of the seat and hopped in, speeding towards my mom’s house. It took me less than 10 minutes to get there and it would have taken me 20 to get there if I was doing the speed limit.
“Mama! Mama! Mama!” I yelled as soon as I unlocked the door to her place.
“Chris! Bring your high yellow ass up here, right now!” my mom said from upstairs. I ran up the flight of step and over to her.
“Ma, you seen or heard from Serenity?” I asked her, trying to catch my breath. She sniffed me and held her nose, making a face.
“You smell like you took a bath in alcohol and what the hell happened to you? Where is this blood from?” she asked. I forgot I wiped the blood from my hand on my white shirt.
“It’s nothing. Ma, have you seen or heard from Serenity? Please, I need to know!”
“Yes, I sure did. She came over here at 2am…to say goodbye to Mijo, Austin, and I. Now, I don’t know where she’s going or why but I noticed the bruises on her arms, and how swollen her cheek was. Christopher Maurice Brown, did you put your hands on that girl? No, I know you did…my question is why did you put your hands on that girl?”
“Wait, what? You don’t know where she’s going? Where’s Mijo and Austin?” I said as I ran down the hall to look into their rooms. My mom quickly caught up to me.
“They aren’t here, mainly because they knew this would be the first place you’d look for her and they couldn’t stand to see your face. Now answer my question Chris!” Her eyes were wide and serious, she wanted an answer I couldn’t give.
“Ma, I don’t remember much from last night…I swear I don’t. But, if you say you saw swelling on her face and bruises on her arms then it only makes sense, that’s why she left and I found her engagement ring on the kitchen floor,” I said as I sat down on the floor, letting my head drop to my hands.
“I would tell you to get in your car and go all around Virginia to find her, I’d tell you to call everyone she knows and see if they’ve heard from her. I’d tell you to go find her and get her back but honestly, you don’t deserve to have her back. Chris, she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you found a way to mess it up for yourself. I love Serenity, I loved having her around but…she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way Chris.”
“Mom, don’t you think I know that! I’ve tried so damn hard to give her everything she could ever want. The finest house on the block, the finest clothes, shoes, jewelry, her own hair and makeup stylist. I guess I forgot about the one thing she needs most…love. And mom, I swear for the life of me…I tried…I tried to forget my past and live in the present, focusing on my future with her but so much shit comes back to haunt me.”
“That’s because you’ve never completely dealt with it. Yeah, you sat through a couple anger management classes but you did it just so you wouldn’t end up in prison. You weren’t there with an open mind and open heart like I prayed you would be. Maybe before you get in another relationship, you need to work on yourself. Chris, I’m your mother and baby I know when you’ve reached rock bottom and Lord knows I’ve done my best to prevent this but…I guess it had to happen. Come on back home baby, so we can work on fixing this together. Just give Serenity some space for now. If she loves you, and I mean really…loves you. She’ll be back, she’s crazy if she comes back but if she loves you, she will. Hopefully by then, you’ll be the man that deserves her love…and you’ll know how to properly love her back.” That was just like Mama, helped me pick up the pieces and sort them out…helping me put together half of the puzzle, but leaving me to figure the other half out by myself.
S E R E N I T Y:
Chris always knows how to distract me when I need to stay focused on a certain task at hand, which is getting him to the club without letting him know it’s for his surprise birthday party. He was suspicious about everything I did. He wanted to know why I was getting so dressed up to just go to a “graduation party,” and after the scene in the shower, it was getting harder and harder to focus on making my lies believable.
“Seriously though, all that make up is not necessary for a graduation party Ni-Ni. I wish you’d hurry up, I’m starving like Marvin out here man,” he said from the bedroom. I just ignored him and continued to put mascara on. I then got a text from Nima saying everything and everyone was in place and waiting on our arrival. I quickly threw on some lip gloss then made my way out of the bathroom.
“You do realize you’re not leaving my side tonight, right?” Chris said as I looked over myself in the full length mirror. I didn’t look half bad, I just had on a simple pair of jeans and shirt with my pumps..I didn’t go all out.
“What? I’m not even that dressed up,” I told him as I grabbed my purse and keys off of the dresser.
“You don’t have to be, you could go to the club in sweats and I’m pretty sure every nigga in there would still try to get with you, and I’m not having that,” he said as he followed me out to the car. I just shook my head as I started the engine and text Nima to tell her we were on our way.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to compliment me instead of all of that? You already know I’m not paying these other niggas any attention so they should be the last of your worries,” I told him as I pulled out into traffic. I couldn’t believe he was acting like this.
“Yeah, I hear you ma…I hear you. Alicia ain’t tell me nothing about this graduation party the few times I saw her around though.”
“Well Chris, maybe she wanted to keep it a surprise. I didn’t know until today, at the damn ceremony.”
“Oh. Well it’s a Friday night…everybody and their mama usually be outside the club..in line, waiting to get in. There’s no one out here and I know her VIP isn’t that deep,” he said as we pulled up to club Aurora. I noticed the balloons outside in Chris’ favorite colors, blue and black that adorned the arch of the door. He was still too stuck on stupid to see this was actually for him.
“Chris, just get out of the damn car..please and thank you,” I said as I grabbed my purse and made my way to the front door. While Chris took his sweet ass time getting out the car, I text Nima to let her know we were here, hoping it was enough time to get everyone in place. Chris finally made his way over to me and we made our way inside the club.
“What the fuck? Why is it so dark in here?” he said loudly.
“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!” a crowd full of people said once the lights were turned back on. I looked up at Chris’ face and saw two different reactions. One reaction was happy, and couldn’t wait to mingle with his friends and family. The other reaction was cold…like he hated every minute of this. He immediately left my side and went to talk to Mijo and Bow, leaving me like I didn’t exist.
“What’s up baby girl? Long time no see!” A very pregnant Amber Rose said as she pulled me into a hug. I shook off my thoughts about Chris and focused on mingling with my new friends as well.
“Hi Amber! I know, I know. I’ve missed you! How are you?” I asked her as we walked to the bar and sat down.
“I’m great and I’ve missed you as well. What’s up with your boy though? Are you guys okay?” I knew she was referring to Chris.
“Yeah girl, everything’s cool. Nothing to be worried about.” She just shook her head and looked down at my hand that was resting on my lap.
“You still have your ring so, I believe you…for now that is mama, You have my number though.” as soon as she got up, Nima, Macki, and Ashley raced towards me and trapped me in their hugs.
“Hey y’all! Nima, how on Earth did you get everyone here in VA for his birthday party? You rented out the whole club and everything, you even decorated it. How did you get all of this done in such a short amount of time?” I said as I looked around the club, taking note of all the personalized decorations of Chris.
“Girl, it was stressful but with Macki’s and Ashley’s help..it got done. Where yellow bone baby at though? I got an ice cream cake so we might want to sing happy-damn-birthday soon before it melts and shit,” she said.
“True. You guys go gather everyone around and I’ll go get him,” I told my sister and friends. They agreed and parted ways to do what I suggested. I then got up from the bar and made my way over to Chris, who was laughing and goofing off with Mijo, Bow, Wiz, and Tyga.
“Excuse me fellas,” I said as I interrupted whatever they were laughing over. “Can I steal my fiance` from you all for a quick second?”
“What up Ni-Ni? Go’on head girl, he was startin’ to a annoy a nigga anyway,” Tyga said jokingly while pushing Chris towards me.
“You good now? That look you gave me earlier has me thinking other wise,” I told him as we walked over to the stage together.
“Yeah, I’m good shawty. Thought I told you I didn’t want any parties though?” he said while biting his lip. He obviously wasn’t over what it was that had him upset.
“Chris, it’s not that big of a deal. You’ve done so much for me and I just wanted to do a little something for you…what’s the problem?”
“Nothing man, nothing.”
“Alright, Chris and Ni-Ni..yall come on up here,” Nima said through the mic as she waited for us on stage. Chris walked ahead of me, instead of with me. I wanted to snatch him back by the collar of his jacket but to save face in front of everyone…I let it go. It wasn’t long before the cake was brought out and everyone in the crowd starting singing happy birthday to Chris. With all of me, I hoped that bought a smile to his face.
“Thanks everyone. I love yall man…fo’real, that comes from the heart. Without yall, without my fiance`…I don’t know where I would be. So uh, it’s my 22nd birthday…let’s turn up!” he said as he motioned for me to come on stage and help him cut the first piece of his cake. The caterers then took over the job and I found myself in the middle of the crowd, dancing with Chris like he just wasn’t upset with me minutes ago.
“Yo Chris, your baby mama’s at the door,” Big Pat said as he interrupted our dance. Chris’ facial expression quickly went from smiling to scowling in seconds. I followed Chris and Big Pat back to the front door to see a swollen Tiffany, about 6 months pregnant..pacing back and forth.
“Tiff, I don’t think you were invited…the fuck you want?” Chris said as he closed the door behind us, so no one inside would hear the fiasco outside.
“I’m the mother of your child Chris, why wasn’t I invited? I called and text you, wishing you a Happy Birthday and I got no response. We haven’t talked in three months because you’ve been busy with lil miss thang over here. Nigga, I’m having your child, not her! And it’s a girl, just in case you were wondering,” she said as she threw the ultrasound CD at Chris then walked off down the street somewhere. I picked up the CD and put it in Chris’ hand. He was expressionless as he just shoved it down his pocket.
“I told you we were going to get your ass!” Someone yelled from a black truck the same time bullets sprayed the club, popping the balloons above our heads, barely missing us. Chris immediately opened the door to the club, pushing me down to the ground so he could cover me with his body. Big Pat unexpectedly pulled out his own gun and shot at the black truck that sped down the road. The inside of the club was a complete mess. No one was hurt but the damage those tiny bullet holes made was unbelievable, we were going to pay out the ass to fix all of this.
“Whoa, y’all good man?” Steve said as he raced towards us, his hand gripped on the back of his belt, where I knew he kept his gun.
“Fuck no, get everyone up out of here man. I’m going home bruh,” Chris said as he pulled me off of the ground and held me all the way to the car. He fished threw my purse to get the keys and his unstable hands finally found the ignition and started the car. I didn’t ask questions on the way home, I was too busy answering calls and text messages, making sure certain people got home and back to their hotel rooms safely. Thanks to Chris’ speeding, we got home relatively quickly. He came on my side of the car and opened the door, pulling me out and all the way into the house. When he let go of me, I had his finger prints around my wrist that I was sure would turn into a bruise by tomorrow morning.
“Fuck! This is why I told you I didn’t want a damn party!” he said as he threw the car keys across the table.
“What? That doesn’t even make sense. I know you’re not trying to blame this on me!” I snapped back at him.
“Yes! Nigga, it is your fault! I blame you! If you did as I asked, none of this would have ever even happened!”
“Chris, what-the-fuck-ever. I’m so over you tonight, go to sleep..on the couch I mean, and get back at me with all this shit in the morning,” I said as I stomped into the bedroom. He followed me. He grabbed me, aggressively, and pushed me up against the wall. I smelled the alcohol on his breath. He wasn’t himself, I saw a whole new person in his eyes. I was scared.
“Nigga let go of me! You’re hurting me Chris!” I said as tears started to sting my eyes.
“Nah, fuck that! These niggas have been calling my phone, texting me all damn week…telling me they were lurking and just waiting for me to slip up so they could attack. I told you I didn’t want a party because I knew if they got wind of it, they’d come through and fuck that shit up! Oh, and what happened? That’s exactly what the fuck they did!” He said as he pushed me away from him, I tripped and fell into the dresser, hitting my back against the corner of it. He paced the floor, running his hands through his curls. I was scared to move, scared to even breathe because I didn’t want to do anything that triggered him to do something I knew he was capable of.
“I saw what my life would have been like if one of those bullets would have hit you. I saw a life I didn’t want. I saw a life I refused to have…a life I was trying my best to avoid but…you just made it so easy for them,” he said as he walked towards me. I tensed up at his touch, I no longer knew what to expect.
“Ni-Ni, I’m sorry—” the sound of his phone vibrating cut him off. He went to answer it, putting it on speaker phone..I thought he knew who it was.
“Yeah nigga, you thought we were playing. I hope I made myself clear tonight. You got one more time to slip up and next time I won’t be so trigger happy, I’ll actually hit my target nigga,” I recognized that voice from the black truck.
“See, this shit is not a game Serenity!”
“Well, do you know who it is threatening you? I mean, we could always go to the police,” I said uneasily as I walked towards him.
“The police? Are you serious? Get the fuck out of here with that. The police don’t give a shit about a nigga like me. I’ll handle this shit on my own.” he said, pushing me again.
“Look Chris, there isn’t going to be too many times of you putting your hands on me like this,” I told him as I made my way to the kitchen to get ice for my bruises. I looked back and saw he had opened up a bottle of Ciroc, taking a swig of it before looking up at me. I rolled my eyes at him and fished through the freezer for an ice pack. I heard his foot steps behind me, I slowly turned around from the refrigerator. He looked me dead in the eye while taking another drink from his bottle.
“Give me this, you’ve had enough for one night,” I said as I took the bottle from him and walked over to the sink. He caught my hand and tried to take it from me but I held a good grip on it, I refused to let it go.
“I’m a grown ass man, I’ll drink what the fuck I want!” he said as he violently tried pulling the bottle out of my hand. I dropped the ice pack so I could put up a better fight with both hands. In a split second, the bottle flew out of my hand, hitting the floor and spilling everywhere. In that same second, I watched his hand as it seem to approach my face in slow motion…as he slapped me across my face. Tears instantly stung my eyes as the side of my face stung from his hand. I looked at him, as he stared back at me…like he didn’t realize what he just did. I marched into the bedroom, holding the side of my face as I packed a bag. I threw any and everything in that damn bag, I probably even packed some of his shit. I then grabbed my phone, my purse, and my keys. I walked back into the kitchen to find him in the same place I left him.
“Fuck you,” I said as I snatched my ring off of my finger and threw it at him. He still didn’t move, he just stood there as I walked towards the door. I took one last look at him before shaking my head and leaving the house…my house, our house. I got in my car and the tears fell instantly. I had flashbacks of the incident…how he was so cold and expressionless. Like, he wasn’t even here…physically, he was here but mentally…he was somewhere else. How did this happen? Why did this happen? What else is going to happen? All the questions I had absolutely no answer to.
S E R E N I T Y:
Yesterday at school was the second worst day of my life, the first being the day of Delano’s party. Thanks to Chris’ tweets about how much he missed me, everyone at school knew about our breakup. The girls at school were cruel and called me every name in the book while in the hallway, at lunch as I sat by myself, and even in class. They told me I was simply a “jump off” and Chris couldn’t possibly have love for a girl like me, a girl that didn’t wear a size 2 like Rih or Kae. Then, somehow a vicious rumor started circling around the class of guys that I was a “whore” and “easy,” which caused them to think they could harass and try thing with me. I even began to get death threats on Facebook and Twitter from Chris’ die-hard fans because I “broke his heart.” I wasn’t even an exception to the media, my face was plastered all over TMZ and Mediatakeout. The only gossip site that took up for me was Perez Hilton, simply because of his obvious dislike for Chris. It was all becoming too much to handle so I begged my mom to let me stay home, due to a “massive migraine,” and she soon gave in.
“Serenity, what do you want for lunch baby? I’ll go out to the store and get it,” my mom said as she came in my room. I noticed her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying.
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked her.
“Of course I am sweetie, work is just getting a little stressful, that’s all. Now, what did you say you want for lunch?” I didn’t believe my mom’s cover up story one bit, but I didn’t want to press the issue, I’d find out sooner or later.
“I’m good mom, I don’t want anything,” I told her as I slid a finger over my vibrating phone, declining Chris’ call.
“Serenity, I’m getting you something while I’m out. I think you’re too busy with school and other things that you forget to eat. You’re becoming a stick right in front of my eyes,” she said as she wandered back out of my room, closing the door behind her. I was about to lay back down until I noticed my computer light up with a notification from Skype. I walked over to the computer and saw Macki was calling, reluctantly..I answered it. I haven’t talked to Macki in what felt like forever and I definitely needed her in everything I’m dealing with now more than ever.
“Hey Ni-Ni, thanks for accepting my call. Look, I’m so so—”
“Stop Macki, no need for apologies. Let’s pretend none of this ever even happened, I love you girl,” I told her as I smiled. She only smiled half-heartily as she looked down at her phone.
“I love you too. Have you heard from Delano lately?” she asked me. Now that I think about it, Delano hasn’t really been at school and he hasn’t text or call me lately either.
“No, not recently…why, what’s up?” I asked her. Instead of answering me, she ending up sharing her desktop with me so I could see what she was on and out of no where, a snapshot of a text message under Delano’s twitter popped up. I read it and couldn’t believe my eyes.
“What happened at his party, was simply a bet that he fulfilled from the football team. Someone forwarded this to everyone in school yesterday. I’m so glad you didn’t come today because everyone in school would have said some of the worst things to you, they even came at me..telling me to deliver messages.” I just read the text messages over and over, one of the football players asked Delano if he “did it” and he answered, “Hell yeah, that bitch was vulnerable thanks to that soft ass nigga Chris, it was easy my nigga.” I read those lines over and over until tears stung my eyes.
“I’m so sorry Ni-Ni, I’ll be over there soon,” Macki said as she ended the call. I became so disgusted with myself. As I thought back to a while ago, on winter break when Delano stopped by, I remember something he said to me and everything instantly made sense. That day he decided to randomly sit at the lunch table with me and get my number, is the same day the football team probably made that stupid ass bet with him. I can’t believe I was so blind to his antics. As my phone vibrated once again, I just ignored it and let my head fall in my hands, silently crying to myself.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I’ve been home in Virginia for about a week now. I decided to stay with my mom instead of my own place, I needed to be around her. I couldn’t stand being alone in my own home, with everything so quiet. I knew I’d never be alone here, not with my crazy ass cousins coming in and out.
“Aye Brown, wake yo ass up nigga, you got company,” Austin said as he took the pillow from under my head and slammed it on my face, then jabbed it in my torso. I swear it felt like this lil nigga broke my nose and maybe a few ribs.
“Austin, take yo’ violent ass on somewhere. I’m up, damn. Who’s downstairs anyway?” I asked him as I got up, trying to fix my mom’s bed all thanks to Austin destroying it.
“Man, just go downstairs and see. When you done, bring yo’ ass in the back so we can talk about my clothing line,” he said as he walked out of the room. I had forgotten all about my promise to him, that I’d help him get this clothing line dream of his off of the ground. I don’t have a problem doing it because I know he’s a good kid and will work for it and not let me just hand it to him.
About 5 minutes later, I finally decided to get up and go see who was downstairs waiting on me. I threw my shirt on and grabbed my phone, checking to see if Serenity called or even text me back, nothing. As I made my way downstairs, I caught a glimpse of my alleged “company”, it’s Tiffany. I knew she’d come looking for me sooner or later, once she found out I was in town. I’ve been trying to avoid this conversation, like this shit is just going to up and disappear. There’s no running away from it now.
“What’s up Tiff? How are you?” I asked her as I tooker her coat and hung it up then sat across from her at the dining room table. She looked like she had cried the whole way over here.
“What kind of question is that Chris? I had to come looking for you, knowing you should have come by as soon as you got back to Virginia. You know what my choice and decision was already, I didn’t go through with it because you asked me not to…Chris, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve lost everything, including Kevin because I told him the truth, I couldn’t lie any longer,” she said as she started to cry to herself. I didn’t know what to do either. I didn’t even know what to say. She lost everything because of me and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“Tiff, you’re not the only one who’s lost everything. I’ve lost the love of my life, and I probably won’t ever get her back once I tell her I’m going to be a father. Either way, I have to man up and take care of my seed. Tiff, I love you like I love our child but…that’s it. I no longer have those feelings for you ma. I’ve done some deep ass soul searching, trying to produce them so I could give you and this child a secure family but I can’t, my heart is with Serenity, I just hope you can understand that.” She just cleared the tears that pooled under her eyes away from her faces as she stood up, walking towards the door.
“I guess I understand Chris. So, you’ve made the decision for both of us…I’m bringing this child into the world and I’ll be the one up at 3 am, feeding and burping it, while you’re somewhere overseas…on tour. How the hell is that fair?”
“It’s not fair, that’s why I’ll do my best to make sure I’m around. I can’t promise you I’ll be there at 3 am when you’re feeding and burping, but I can promise you, I’ll be a better father than our fathers were to us, I just need you to trust me.” She shook her head in agreement and opened up the door. Before she walked out, I pulled her into a tight hug. I know things seem bleak right now but they won’t be forever. I meant everything I said to her. This child was not going to be aborted, adopted, or raised without their father in his or her life. After talking with my mother about the whole situation when I got home, she told me she’d help in taking care of and looking after my child while I was away, working. She understood that would be the only time I was ever away, if I was working.
“Breezy! You done yet?” Austin screamed down the hall. I was about to race to the back until my phone rang, although I didn’t know the number, I recognized the Louisiana area code.
“Serenity?” I screamed into the phone, hoping it was her.
“No Chris, it’s Macki. Uh, are you still in Louisiana?” she asked, her voice started cracking, like she was either trying to be really quiet or she’d been crying.
“Nah, I’m back at home..what’s up though? Is everything okay?” I asked as I sat down beside Austin once I got to the game room.
“No, not really. Serenity’s been going through a lot lately. The people at school have been so rude and mean to her. I guess she just couldn’t handle it anymore,” she said as her voice trailed off, like she was thinking about something.
“Wait, what happened Macki? Talk to me, please,” I told her.
“She tried…she tried killing herself Chris. She overdosed on of her mom’s narcotics for her back pain, damn near shut her liver down. She’s recovering now, after having her stomach pumped. They’re keeping her here for a couple of days, most likely a week. I think seeing you would actually do her some good, is there anyway you can come back?”
“Yeah, I’m booking my flight as we speak. Don’t even tell her I’m on my way though, she’d probably just tell the nurses to keep me far away from her as possible. Thanks for calling me though Macki, I know I’m not your favorite person right now either,” I told her as I ran upstairs, packing some of my clothes back into a suitcase.
“Chris, I’ve been rooting for you since day one. You’re the only one that was ever able to make Serenity smile the way you have. You’re human though, and you made a mistake. Just bring your ass down here so you can make up for it and try not to ever pull a stunt like that again.” I could hear her smiling through the phone.
“Aight Macki, thanks ma. I’ll be there as soon as possible,” I said as I hung up the phone. I think God’s testing me. The old me would have turned around and punched a hole in the wall, the door, or anything I saw first. Honestly, I feel like doing just that. Instead, I’m going to hop into the shower and brainstorm ways to bet my baby back and to make her feel as safe as possible. The first thing that needs to be eliminated, is that damn school, there’s no way she’s going back to school with those people. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I’ll make sure she’s some place comfortable, even if it means moving her down here to VA. Wait, I think that’s exactly what I’ll do, just need to get her parents approval, which shouldn’t be hard at all, if they don’t hate me by now.
C H R I S B R O W N:
Everything is so fucked up. My life, is just in shambles right now. After I got Mackenzie’s drunk ass in the car, I had thoughts about running this fucking Hummer into a ditch or something. I couldn’t even stand to look at Mackenzie, not that she’s to blame for all of this but because she picked the wrong place and time to snitch on a nigga. I knew what I did in the dark was going to come to light sooner or later but I just thought it would’ve been later rather than sooner. As I replayed Mackenzie’s words in my head, I remember her saying something along the lines of Tiffany asking her for advice on how to leave Mr. Basketball star because she still loves me.
The day I made that fatal mistake of fucking Tiffany, I told her it didn’t mean a damn thing to me..she made it seem like it didn’t mean anything to her either. Obviously, it did! I just wished she would have spoke to me about it directly, instead of dragging an innocent bystander in this shit. Now, Mackenzie’s at home…drunker than two left feet and without her best friend..all because of me and my selfish ass. It was ironic how Adorn by Miguel..my favorite song and Serenity’s ringtone started to blast through my car’s speakers as she got out of a car, after someone leaned over and kissed her cheek. I looked closer and saw it was that goofy ass nigga, Delano, in the driver’s seat. I don’t think she noticed my Hummer in the parking lot as she limped up the driveway. I punched my steering wheel, beeping the horn and startling her. I decided to just get out of the car, there’s a lot of shit I need to tell her right now.
“I could have sworn I told you to be gone once I got here,” she said as I met her up at the porch. I glanced her over…her hair was a mess, her makeup was nonexisting, her dress was wrinkled, and she held her leg like she was in pain as she opened up the door and limped into the living room. I knew that limp all to well.
“So, just be real with me right now ma…you fucked him to get revenge for me messing with Tiff?” I asked her as I grabbed her by the hand, swinging her around before she could make it to the steps. She just snatched her arm away from me as she rolled her eyes.
“What part of “we’re over” don’t you get? If I wanted to mess with Delano, I’m free to do so and wouldn’t be cheating on you…unlike you did to me, after you made me trust your weak ass!” she turned on her heels and tried walking up the stairs, once again…I caught her by the hand.
“Did he hurt you?” I said through a clenched jaw. If her answer is yes, there’s no telling what I would do..I’d probably hop in that damn Hummer and speed back over to his house just to knock his ass down to the ground.
“What on Earth would make you think he hurt me? Not everyone beats on women, Chris,” she said as tears began to stain her cheeks. I felt like shit. Out of everyone, I never thought Serenity would be one to degrade or talk to me like that…knowing how I feel about that shit.
“You know what, maybe you’re right. I’ll just go pack my bags and be on my way. Let me tell you something though, what I did with Tiffany…didn’t mean a damn thing to me. I guess that’s why I wasn’t in such a rush to tell you. Second thing, if you ever think…for a minute…that I don’t love you then I’ve obviously done a poor ass job of trying to show you that before any of this even happened. Last but not least…this…this isn’t over…whatsoever. I’m going to make you fall in love with me..deeper than you claim you were before, trust me,” I told her as I kissed her forehead then ran up the steps. I packed my bag then headed back downstairs. The whole time I heard her crying and sniffing. I just shook my head as I walked out to my car and pulled my phone out to call Mike.
“Nigga, it’s late as fuck, what you want?” he said as he answered the phone.
“My bad man, that guest room still available for a couple of days? Ni-Ni and I had a…arguement and a nigga is in the doghouse right now,” I told him as I backed out of Serenity’s driveway.
“Fasho’ bruh, you know I got you,” he said as he tried to wake himself up.
“Cool, I’ll be there in like…an hour. I need to go and clear my head first,” I told him.
“Aight Breezy, don’t do anything stupid now nigga.”
“Chill, sounding like my moms and shit. I’ll be alright. I’m gone though, one,” I said as I hung up the phone. I had no clue where I was going but I just knew I needed to go some place with a lot of noise…so I wasn’t force to sit and think about this shit.
S E R E N I T Y:
As I woke up the next morning, I wasn’t as sore as I was yesterday but I had the worst headache…probably from all of that crying. My head was a jungle full of shit I couldn’t process at the moment. I didn’t want to believe that I let someone I had no love for…take my virignity. God knows I wanted to wait until marriage as I was instructed…or to at least let someone who I loved more than life itself, have that privilege. That someone would have been Chris, but he just had to go and fuck that all up.
“Come on, get up. We’re going out,” Ashley said as she burst in my room, grabbing my coat off the hook and dragging me by the hand out to her car.
“Wait..what? Where are we going and why?” I asked her as I got in the passenger seat.
“I just want to spend some time with my baby sis, I know I haven’t been around much but we need to talk…I know somethings wrong boo, might as well go ahead and tell me about it,” she said as we backed out of the garage. I just took a deep breathe and got ready to spill my guts to her. Other than Macki, she’s the only one I really have to talk to…now that I don’t have Macki, she’s literally all I have.
“Well, you know Chris and I started dating a while ago…the week I spent Christmas with him,” I said and waited for her to shake her head to show she was paying attention and knew what I was talking about.
“Okay, well apparently…that same week..Chris cheated on me with his ex from VA. Macki’ knows his ex from when she lived in VA and she called her a while ago, saying how she’s all in love with Chris instead of her fiance’..Kevin Durant—”
“Kevin Durant? You mean that girl Tiffany!? Dammit Chris, I thought he knew better than to mess with a low down, dirty bit—”
“Whoa, wait? How do you know her?” I asked Ashley as we pulled up at the nail salon. That’s just like Ashley, trying to treat everything with a mani and pedi, I doubt it’s going to work for me though.
“Girl, she’s all over the tabloids! Mediatakeout.com can’t stand her lil trifling ass. One post said that while she and Kevin were at a celebration party, she was dancing and grinding on these other random ass ball players. I just feel sorry for Kevin, that man is hopelessly in love with her and can’t see her for what she really is…a slut,” she said as she parked the car. We didn’t bother getting out of the car yet though, I wasn’t done with my story and I wasn’t going to finish it inside with multiple ears to hear.
“Well, Chris says what he did with her meant nothing to him and I honestly believe that but, I don’t know. If she meant nothing in the first place then the whole sex thing wouldn’t have happened. Then yesterday, I sort of let Delano…swipe the v-card for the first time. After I got home and Chris was still there, I started running off at the mouth…you know how I am when I’m upset. I said something I’d never say to him in a clear state of mind but…Ash, I just don’t know what the hell to do,” I told her as I dropped my head in my hands. If I had any tears left, they would have definitely been racing down my face right now.
“Ni-Ni, you just got a mess on your hands mama. It’s all good though. Remember what mom use to say? God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I don’t really know what kind of advice to give you but…just go with your heart. I know it sounds corny but if you genuinely love Chris, y’all will work it out…trust me,” she said as she opened her door. I did the same and she came over to my side, embracing me into one of her hugs that always made me feel a little better.
S E R E N I T Y:
The rest of the week was spent preparing for Chris’ arrival. My parents were surprisingly willing to let Chris stay at the house for his two weeks in Louisiana. Of course he has to sleep in the guestroom but I have no problem with that, I know my parents are just doing their job. For some reason, Chris decided to book a flight so he’d land around 5 am, so he could see me off to school. I don’t know why that was so important to him but I didn’t push the issue. He wants to drop me off then come back and have lunch with me. I don’t know why he thinks the girls on campus won’t attack him. They’d try attacking him even with Big Pat and Steve around. He’s a “grown ass man” though, I’ll let him do what he wants.
As I turned around in bed, I noticed a bright set of headlights flashed threw my window. Seconds later, my phone began to vibrate and I knew it was him. Instead of answering it, I threw on my slippers and robe then raced to the front of the house. As I opened the door and lay my eyes on him, he turned around from getting his luggage out of the Hummer and smiled at me. I wanted to jump down the stairs and run in his arms but I didn’t want to seem like I missed him way more than I should have…or way more than he probably missed me.
“So, you just going to stand there? A nigga can’t get love from the girl he spent hours on a plane and an hour driving around for?” he said as he opened his arms while plastering a puppy dog pout on his face. I was no longer in control of my body as I ran to him. I buried my face in his chest where the aroma of his cologne filled my nose. I never knew how much I enjoyed that scent until now.
“It’s a twenty minute ride from the airport to my house, why did it take you an hour?” I asked him while leading him inside the house.
“I was circling around your neighborhood for 30 minutes. My GPS system kept taking me to the back part of your house but I couldn’t see how to get over here because of the fence back there,” he replied with a defeated look on his face.
“So, in other words…you got lost?” I asked.
“No, a nigga was just misplaced for a while, that’s all.” I couldn’t avoid laughing at how silly his ego and pride was making him sound, he and I both knew he got lost.
“I don’t know why you didn’t let me pick you up anyway,” I told him as we made our way to the guest room.
“Because, I didin’t want you up extra early before school. Speaking of, when does school start for you? It’s 6:30 now, shouldn’t you be gettind ready?” he asked as he flopped down on the bed, pulling me on his lap.
“School doesn’t start until 9, I have a good hour of sleep I need to catch up on thanks to waiting up for you,” I told him as I managed to ease my way off of his lap.
“Well good, come lay with me. I could use a couple of z’s before I drop you off,” he said while tugging my arm.
“Chris, you’re in the guest room for a reason. You can come in the living room though, I’ll get some pillows and blankets…we can chill on the sofa until I have to get ready.”
“Aight ma, actually…you tell me where the pillows and blankets are and I’ll get ‘em, you go find a movie or something.”
“Alright, well they’re in the closet down the hall. Oh yeah, are you hungry or anything? I can fix you something really quickly.”
“Nah, I ate on the plane. Thanks anyway though babe,” he said before pecking my lips then jogging down the hall and to the closet. I made my way downstairs and tried to find a movie out of my collection I thought Chris would enjoy. Most of them were chick flicks, I didn’t have many action movies besides ones that we’re a mixture between comedy or romance.
“You find one yet baby?” he asked as he came down the steps with one blanket and one pillow.
“No, I don’t think you’ll like the movies I have over here,” I told him. He just shook his head and sat down beside me on the floor, looking through my collection of movies. His hand then wandered across a movie I had totally forgot I even owned and was now quite embarrassed that he had to be the one to find it.
“You actually liked this movie ma?” he asked as if he genuinely wanted to know. I snatched the movie out of his hand as I’m sure my face turned bright red.
“Yes, I actually like it. You weren’t supposed to know I had it though,” I told him. He shot me a puppy dog pout then began to tickle me, trying to loosen my grip on the DVD I had in my hand.
“Man, come on…let’s watch it. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve watched this thing? You’re the first person who actually likes the whole movie. My mom even turns it off after I die in it, and that’s only 15 minutes into the movie,” he explained while finally getting the DVD from me.
“You’re not weirded about by the fact that I have it?” I asked him. I was confused, I thought he’d think I was weird for having this movie in the house while I’m his girl friend. That whole scenario just doesn’t make sense to me.
“Hell nah, the fact that you have this just proved to me why you’re the best girlfriend a nigga has had in a long ass time. I love how you don’t treat me like a celebrity or try and cover up the fact that you were once a fan. It says a lot to me, more than I can explain to you right now,” he said as he helped me up off of the floor, He then put in Stomp The Yard and walked me over to the sofa. I guess I understand why he only brought down one pillow and one blanket because as we lay beside each other in the recliner part of the couch, he threw part of the blanket over me then wrapped his arms around me, so I was laying on his chest. He put the one pillow under his head, I guess my pillow was his chest and I didn’t have any objections as the movie began to play and I came closer to drifting off. I looked up at Chris and could see he was close to doing the same.
“Chris?” I asked while taking his snapback and placing it on my head.
“What’s up?” he replied in a heavily sleepy voice without opening his eyes.
“Even if we were to break up today or tomorrow, just know that I’ll always be a fan,” I told him. He opened his eyes and brought my face closer to his by his finger leading the way under my chin.
“Just know that breaking up isn’t an option in this relationship ma,” he said before kissing me. Some times I wonder what I’ve done to deserve this. What wonderful, magnificent thing did I achieve or do for someone else…to be blessed with someone like Chris? A part of me says to stop questioning it while the other part keeps telling me this just might be too good to be true.
C H R I S B R O W N:
It was around 8:45 when Serenity’s mother scared the shit out of me as she tried shaking me awake. Apparently Serenity was still in her room, getting dressed and told her mother to fix me breakfast. I was glad too, I know I told Serenity I ate on the plane but that was 2 hours ago…can’t blame me for being hungry again. As I got up and went into the kitchen, there was a whole spread of food on the table. Anything from fruit and oatmeal to pancakes and waffles was spread about on the table. I couldn’t resist licking my lips as I sat down, Serenity’s mom sure know’s how to make a guy feel welcome. If there was any doubt I had in my mind about her liking me, it was all resolved now.
“Well Chris, I didn’t know what you would like so my hands just took over and made almost everything we had in the pantry. I hope you enjoy it just as much as you enjoy your stay with us. You’ve made my daughter really happy young man, you’ve been the only thing she talks about now and the smile on her face when she thinks of you is priceless, and for that..I thank you,” she said as she hugged me.
“Oh my God, mom hush up please!” Serenity said as she opened the bathroom door then slammed it shut. Knowing that I’m the only thing Serenity thinks about was news for me, she never acts like she’s that in love with me when I’m around…I think it’s because she doesn’t know how. I don’t think she knows how to show affection without me showing it first and the fact that I’m the lucky one to teach her how brought a smile to my own face.
“That’s good to hear Mrs. McFadden. I love your daughter just as much as she loves me, maybe even more,” I told her as I dug into my pancakes and waffles.
“I know baby, I know. You two have fun today, I won’t be home until around 8. After I get from the office, Mr. McFadden and I have our weekly date night. Serenity was telling me about some party later on today, Chris…please keep an eye on my baby girl,” she said.
“That’s one thing you don’t have to worry about. So go on, have a good day at work Mrs. McFadden.” She gave me another hug before leaving out of the door. It was about another 10 minute wait until Serenity finally emerged from her room. She instantly took my breath away as she was dressed from head to toe in the things I got her for Christmas. She had on the UGG boots I spent hours trying to find online until I just got tired and purchased almost the whole damn catalog. The jeans my mom picked out for her hugged her ass and hips perfectly but it didn’t keep my attention for long because once I looked at her face, I felt like I was in the audience of a fashion show and she was the main attraction. With little to no makeup, she was stunning and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“Is something wrong?” she asked as she sat down beside me at the table, taking a piece of fruit out of the basket. I focused in on reality and saw she still had my snapback on, when did she even take it?”
“When did you get that?” I asked her while pointing to my hat. I didn’t take it away from her because she honestly looked good in it and I felt good…knowing she would be walking around with MY hat on, not some other nigga’s hat.
“I took it earlier this morning, I figured it would look better on me anyway,” she said while playfully sticking her tongue out.
“I couldn’t agree more, come on though…we have to get you to school,” I said as I got her coat and held her by the waist all the way out ot my Hummer. She protested about not having to go to school the whole 20 minute ride there. She even gave me wrong directions at one point so we’d be there 5 minutes later than we needed to be. I know she just wanted to spend the day with me but I wasn’t letting her miss school for it, I refused.
As we pulled up to the school, I could tell people were suspicious of who was riding in this big ass Hummer with extremely tinted windows. Once I parked, I debated on whether I would get out of the car or not, simply because I didn’t want Serenity to get any crazy reactions from these thirsty ass girls in class but the way she looked at me, waiting for me to open her door told me she didn’t give a damn about what anyone else was thinking. So, I got out of the car and went to the trunk to get her heavy ass book bag. I could feel the eyes of spectators burning a fucking hole in my back, I didn’t pay it any attention though. I then went over to Serenity’s door and opened it, handing over her bag.
“Aight bae, I’ll be back around 1:30 with lunch. I’m pretty sure you’re about to walk into a war zone in there but this is what it’s going to be like when you’re sitting next to me at the Grammys and shit so get use to it ma,” I said as before planting a kiss on her lips. I looked behind her and noticed camera phones being pulled out, probably recording or posting pictures to Twitter or Instagram.
“Looks like you have an audience,” I said as I turned her around so she could see what I did.
“It doesn’t bother me anymore. There’s Macki over there, I’ll be alright. I’ll see you soon,” she said before turning on her heels and fast walking over to Macki. Macki shot me the meanest mug before rolling her eyes. What the hell is her problem? I haven’t even been here for a whole day yet and I’m already fucking shit up. I just shook my head and hopped inside my car. As I came to a red light, I looked down at my phone and saw Mike text me, telling me to come through. I never understood why this nigga spends more time in Louisiana than in California, where he lives. Then again, I’m never at the homes I own either…in Virginia or California.
S E R E N I T Y:
It was a silent ride to the big house we were now in front of. I thought my house was big. This house makes my house look like a hut or something, honestly.
“So, your mom lives in this big ol’ place by herself?” I asked Chris as he parked the car. I was just trying to make small talk, the silence I think I created was killing me.
“She’s never here by herself. My cousins and other family members pop up from time to time and stay with her,” he said as he took a key from his pocket and opened up the door.
“You think she’ll like me?” I asked once we were inside the house. He just smiled weakly at me as he took off my jacket and placed it on the chair.
“What’s not to like Ni-Ni?” he said as he took his coat off too, placing it on the same chair. I just smiled back at him, trying to be just as confident as he is about this whole situaiton. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never met the parents of a guy because we were sort of “seeing eachother” I guess. Nothing ever got the serious between me and another person.
“Hello! Mama? I’m home!” Chris shouted repeatedly up the stairs. While he screamed to the top of his lungs to find his mom, I couldn’t help but look around the house. The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside with all of the Christmas decorations. The tree was decorated perfectly too and I was instantly reminded of home.
“Chris? Baby, I thought you had to be in Paris! What are you doing here?” the lady I recognized as his mother said as she threw her arms around him. Chris picked her up and spun her around, like it was his first time seeing her in months, it actually might have been.
“Mama, now you know I wouldn’t miss Christmas, I refuse. I just wanted it to be a surprise. I have someone I want you to meet too,” he said as he montioned towards me. “Mama, this is my girl friend, Serenity McFadden. Serenity, this is my mom..Joyce.”
“Girl friend? Chris, you been gone for three months and come back with a new girl friend. She must be special though, more special than Kae obviously was because I never met her. Either way, welcome to the family Serenity, it’s nice to meet you,” Ms. Joyce said as she threw her arms around me. I just hugged her and smiled. I couldn’t do or say much but reflect on everything that Chris and his mother just said. Chris introduced me as his girl friend first of all, am I really his girl friend? Did he just make this official? Ms. Joyce never met Karrueche? Does that really mean I’m more special to Chris than Kae ever was?
“Why don’t y’all go on to the back while I fix us some breakfast…well, actually lunch. I didn’t realize it was so late. Now Serenity, be careful when you go back there with all of Chris’ knuckle head cousins, they haven’t seen him in a while and things might get ugly,” Ms. Joyce said as she made her way to the kitchen.
“Man, it’s alright. Just don’t pay those fools any attention when we get back there,” Chris said as he took me by the hand and led me to the back of the house. It seemed like it was Chris’ own arcade with all of his beautiful graffiti, games and electronics all over the place. His family didn’t even recognize we were in the room until Chris cleared his throat.
“Well look who it is! Do my eyes forsake me? Is Christopher Maurice Brown really in this damn room right now or am I dreaming?” Once I recognized this guy had same tattoo Chris has on his hand, I immediately knew it was Mijo.
“Nigga, just bring yo’ ass over here!” Chris said as he and Mijo charged eachother. They hugged for what seems like hours before Chris turned his attention to me. “Mijo, this is my girl friend Serenity. Serenity, this is Mijo.”
“Girl friend? Nigga, what the hell happened to Kae’s weird ass?” Mijo asked as he looked me up and down.
“She obviously ain’t around no more bruh. Oh, and you can’t look…but don’t touch,” Chris said as he must have caught the looks Mijo was giving me.
“Austin, wake yo’ ass up man.” I looked over at Chris and noticed he was shaking the life out of a boy that resembled him and couldn’t be more than 14 or 15.
“Alright y’all, so I don’t have to go through this again with each and every one of you fools…that is Serenity, my girl friend. Serenity, these are my cousins…you’ll meet them all later I guess. They too busy playing damn video games to pay attention,” he said as he took my hand and led me out of the room. Before I left, I noticed Mijo still had his eyes glued to me…I don’t think he ever took them off of me once Chris introduced us.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I won’t even lie, Serenity pissed me the hell off on the ride to my mom’s house. I think that’s why I went the extra mile to introduce her as my girl friend to everyone, it was my way of making shit official. I did it so she couldn’t talk about how she’s not sure I really like her or have feelings for her. I’m glad my mom made the point of telling her she had to be special because Kae didn’t even meet her. I honestly knew Kae wouldn’t be around for long that’s why I made it my business that she and my mom never bumped into each other. If I knew Kae was going on tour with me, I asked my mom to stay home and vice versa. I value my mother’s opinion and whether she thinks so or not, she made it clear that she didn’t really care for Kae. I didn’t think my mother would ever really care for any girl I bought home after Rihanna until that all changed today. She completely fell in love with Serenity, my cousins did too. Unlike Serenity, I wasn’t worried. I knew Serenity would make a good first impression.
“Oh my goodness, I love your family,” Serenity said as I opened the door to my house. I could tell that she was in awe as she looked around.
“And they love you too,” I said as I brought our bags in. We stayed over my mom’s house for a long time. It’s 11:30 pm. My mom made sure I didn’t leave until she called almost every family member in VA and told them I was home. Most of them stopped by while the others called me like crazy.
“How are you so sure?” she asked as she sat down on the couch. I didn’t answer her question until I was finished dragging each bag upstairs.
“I shouldn’t even have to say it Ni-Ni, they made it quite obvious,” I said as I plopped down on the couch beside her, planting my feet on the coffee table and turning on the TV.
“Yeah, you’re right…they do love me,” she said as she laid her head back, closing her eyes.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked her.
“Just the way you introduced me as you girl friend to everyone…what was that all about?”
“Well, that’s what you are isn’t it?”
“I don’t know…am I?”
“That’s what I want you to be…unless you don’t want to.”
“Wait, I have a massive headache right now and this conversation where we beat around the bush isn’t helping because I’m totally lost now.”
“Okay, well you’re my girl friend…point, blank, period.”
“So…it’s settled then?”
“I guess so, no objections or any other shit like that. Just accept it.”
“Accepted.” I was expecting hear her give me some other lame ass excuse as to why we couldn’t be together and for once…she finally just agreed with me. I instantly felt like the luckiest man in the damn world. It’s finally official…it’s finally legit. Before I knew it, I had Serenity in my arms..kissing her. It wasn’t just an ordinary kiss though. It was like…like, we were both sealing a deal or something. I’ve kissed Serenity a couple of times but none of them felt like this. I immediately wanted to take her upstairs and make love to her once I got a look at an excited Cj out the corner of my eye. I shook those thoughts out of my head though. I’m taking this relationship slow, as slow as she needs me to take it.
“Wake up sleepy head! It’s Christmas Eve!” Serenity said as she slid the curtains in my room open, revealing the sun. I looked at my TV and noticed it was on ABC with the “25 Days ‘til Christmas” shows on. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a girl who loves Christmas as much as she does. I like the holiday season but honestly, I won’t be upset to see it leave.
“I uh—sort of made breakfast. It’s a tradition at home. Every Christmas Eve morning, my mom and I make breakfast. You had a kitchen full of food and my hands just took over, are you hungry?” she asked as she slid next to me in the bed. I looked at her in the eye and could tell it was killing her to be away from home right now.
“Of course I am! It smells good too, can’t wait!” I said as I kissed her forehead and the jumped out of bed. Before I could even get out of the door, my cell phone rang.
“It’s probably just moms, you go ahead though…I’ll be out in a second,” I said as she wandered out of the room. I picked up my phone and answered it, never looking to see who it really was.
“Hello, Chris? This is Tiffany,” the familiar voice said on the other line. I looked at my phone and noticed she had a new number other than the one I had saved. I also looked at the time, it’s 9:00 am. I know Tiffany isn’t a early morning person, she normally wouldn’t get out of the bed until 11:30 or 12:00 at the latest.
“Yo, what’s up?” I said in an annoyed tone. To be honest, I didn’t really want to talk to her. I said everything I had to say yesterday and didn’t want to be reminded of it.
“Is this a good time?” No, not really.
“Yeah Tiffany, what’s up?”
“Chris, you should probably sit down for what I’m about to tell you.” Her voice was beginning to crack, like she was about to cry or had already been crying. I did as I was told though and took a seat on my bed.
“Alright ma, what’s going on?” I asked. It was a long pause of silence before she finally answered me.
“Uhm, it’s about Grandma Susie. She passed away early this morning, around 3 am. They say it was a stroke.” I felt my whole world crashing down and closing in around me. I’m glad I sat down because the distance to the floor I had would have been greater than it was now as I fell on my knees.
“A stroke? You weren’t around to see she was in pain or hurting? She probably called your name and you were either too busy on the phone with your fiance’ or knocked out in another room when you know you should have slept in the same room as her to keep an eye on her!”
“Chris, are you saying this is my fault? For your information, I slept in my room like I always do because Grandma insisted. I wasn’t on the phone but I was up and could have perfectly heard her if she called my name for help. I can’t believe you think so low of me.”
“Man, all I know is…I was the one holding Grandma Susie whenever I came home…comforting her because you wouldn’t come home or even call to check and see if she was okay. Look, I’m sorry..I know it’s not your fault. Grandma Susie was like my own grandma, you know that…this is just as hard for me as it is for you.”
“You don’t know how much I hate myself for being so caught up in my own world to call or check on her. You’ll never understand how I wish I had told her I loved her before I went into her room and found her this morning. You have no idea what I’m going through right now.”
“I know, I’m sorry Tiff. If there’s anything I can do or if you need anything…just let me know okay?” The phone fell silent. I was about to hang up before she spoke up, asking me to wait.
“Can you come over? I just need someone else in the house right now. I just need someone here with me until I’m done packing so I can stay with my mom now. Please, you’re about the only one that I can call on,” she said in between sobs.
“Tiff, I don’t think that’s a good id—”
“Please Pooh, I need you right now.” she said, cutting me off. I don’t know if it’s because she called me by the nickname she gave me when we first started dating, or because I know deep down inside…I need her too in order to deal with this, that I knew I had to go over there.
“Alright, I’ll be over in about an hour.” I hung up the phone and immediately began to cry. I held it in while on the phone with Tiffany, I had to be strong for her.
“Chris? Baby, what’s wrong?” Serenity said as she came into the room. She sat down beside me, pulling me into her arms..wiping away my tears.
“Grandma Susie passed away this morning,” I told her as I tried to get myself together. I feel like a weak ass nigga for crying like that. In 2009, I told myself that was the last time I’d ever be caught crying, so much for that though.
S E R E N I T Y:
December 23, 2012
At first I declined leaving with Chris for Christmas. I just couldn’t see myself leaving my family to go visit his. It wasn’t until my mom reassured me they’d wait for me to come back that I went ahead and let Chris buy my plane ticket. I was going to buy it myself but like last time I offered to buy anything, he literally wouldn’t let me.
“Call me as soon as you land baby,” my mom said as she hugged and kissed me
“And I’ll be waiting by the phone with your mother. You know I don’t like this one bit but your old enough to make your own decisions. I love you,” my dad said after he pulled me from my mother and into his arms.
“I can’t believe I’m missing sleep to say goodbye to you because you’re spending Christmas with Chris Brown, I’ll admit…I’m quite jealous Ni-Ni.” Knowing Ashley, she probably is really jealous.
“Aww, don’t be jealous boo, I’ll find someone for you to go visit on Christmas next year,” I told her.
“You could always give Mijo my number.”
“If he’s around, I just might do that. Now, can I have a hug please?”
“Of course, I hope you have a safe trip there and back. Oh yeah, try to come back a virgin please,” she said as she hugged me. My parents eyes got bigger but I just shook my head to tell them not to worry.
“Ni-Ni, promise we’ll skype everyday you’re there? Or, at least call me?” Macki said as she hugged me. I noticed she was crying, this probably is the longest time we’ve ever been apart since the first day we met.
“I promise. Stop the tears now, I don’t need to meet his family with red and puffy eyes.”
“Yo Serenity!” someone screamed as they trudged through the snow. I turned around to see Delano.
“Delano what are you doing here?” I asked him.
“I couldn’t let you go without me saying goodbye.”
“How did you even know I was leaving?” He simply looked over at Macki and she hid her face behind her hands. I should’ve known.
“Well thanks for stopping by but I have to get going,” I said as I looked down at my watch.
“Wait, it’ll only take a minute,” Delano said as he closed the gap between us.
“What will only take a minute?”
“This,” he said as he moved in and kissed me. A minute passed before my parents cleared their throat and Delano separated himself from me.
“I’ll see you when you get back ma,” he said as he hugged me then ran back to his truck. I just tried to recollect myself as I made sure I had all of my bags. I didn’t know whether I wanted to slap Delano or experience that kiss all over again. I don’t need this confusion right now while I’m on my way to spend four consecutive days with Chris and his family.
C H R I S B R O W N:
After packing early this morning, around 2:00 am, because I was too lazy to do it last night, I ran to the store for Mike and Chyna. She wanted a hotdog with some weird ass shit on it and instead of going to get it himself, he begged me to do it. I didn’t mind though. 7-eleven isn’t crowded around this time of night which means no lines and no fans. Rarely do I ever get to go out without Big Pat and Steve so I wasn’t too upset.
“Aye Chyna, come get this smelly ass hotdog girl!” I said as I walked through the door. Someone cleared their throat and as I looked in that direction, I almost shit my pants.
“Alani? Karrueche? Mike! What the fuck is going on?” I asked as he and Chyna came down the steps.
“Man she wouldn’t stop knocking so I had to let her lil’ weird self in,” he said as he took the hot dog from me and gave it to Chyna.
“Alani? What the hell you doing here with Kae?” I asked her. She simply hung her head as Kae got something from her and walked towards me. She pressed a button on what looked like a recorder and the conversation I had with Alani at iHop filled the room.
“Somewhere nice without Karrueche? Nigga you must really think I’m stupid. You taking that damn girl home for Christmas and I haven’t met your family yet? I can’t believe you,” Kae said as she pushed me. Then my torso was invaded by her little fist attacks against it. I eventually had enough and caught her by her hands, stopping her from hitting me.
“You going to hit me, huh? Go ahead so I can ruin your damn career the same way you’re ruining my life!” she said as she began to cry. I just let her hands go and went to the guest room to get my bags and of course, she followed me.
“Chris, what does she have that I don’t? She’s not prettier than me, her body isn’t better than mine…so what the hell is it that has you dropping me for her?” she pushed me again and I felt my blood boiling.
“Karrueche just leave me the fuck alone! Me and you…us…we…are over!” I said as I went back to checking my bags.
“No, we’re not over until I say we’re over!” she said as she began to punch me in my back. I turned around and grabbed her, pressing her up against the wall. The same thoughts I had that night with Rih running through my head. It scared me and I didn’t know how to handle it.
“Let me go, you’re hurting me!” she said as she tried wiggling away from me. I looked down at her arms and noticed I was leaving a bruise. I quickly let go but blocked her from storming out of the door.
“Look, I’m sorry Karrueche. Believe me, I never meant to hurt you but I don’t feel the same way I use to feel about you. I feel that way about Serenity now and you’re just going to have to understand that because we can’t have anymore meetings like this. When I see you, I want to be able to say we ended on good terms. Can you do that for me?” I asked her. She just pushed me out of the way and stormed into the living room. I looked at Alani and got that feeling I did when we were in the mall and iHop. I know what it is now, the feeling of being decieved.
“Get the hell out of my house! Disturbing my baby’s sleep and all that nonsense,” Mike said as he opened the door for Kae and Alani to leave. As soon as they stepped outside, Serenity was making her way up the steps with her bags. The minute she saw Kae, she stopped dead in her tracks. I thought Karrueche was going to hit her or something but she simply held her hand out. Serenity hesitated at first but eventually shook it.
“Take good care of him for me,” Kae said before she and Alani got in the car. Serenity then looked at me for an explanation and I wish I had one.
“Why was she here?” she asked as I came down to help her with her bags and put them in Mike’s truck.
“She needed closure I think, but don’t worry about it ma. Come on, Mike’s driving us to the airport, we need to hurry too,” I said.
“Are you sure I’m the one you’re supposed to be taking on this trip? Are you sure it isn’t Karrueche?” I just wrapped my arms around her after I put the last piece of her luggage in the car. Instead of giving her a direct answer, I just kissed her.
“Uhm, what time is our flight again?” she said as I let her go. She ran her hand through her hair, trying not to make eye contact. I just pulled her into the house behind me.
“Aye, can y’all hurry up! Chyna can’t sleep without me in the house and y’all niggas taking forever to leave!” Mike said once we got to the living room. Chyna was still downstairs, eating that damn hot dog.
“Oh hey Serenity! Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as Serenity sat down.
“Really? I guess that’s a good thing. I haven’t heard much about you though, what’s your name?” I bust out laughing at how she pretty much gave the impression Chyna obviously isn’t known like she thinks she is. Mike met this chick at the strip club like all the other girls he brings home, I don’t know what the hell makes this one so different.
“I’m Chyna, Tyga’s girl,” she said. I rolled my eyes and walked to get my bags. She thinks she’s his girl, I bet he’s going to drop her sooner or later, just like he did the others.
“Alright Mike, we ready! Ni-Ni bags are already in the car.” I said as I came back with my bags. He came from out of the kitchen and kissed Chyna goodbye.
“Ni-Ni? Y’all that close now?” he asked as we got in the car.
“Nah nigga, you need to be answering that question about Chyna. What the hell you doing with her? You need to send her back where you found her, on that damn pole my nigga!” I said as I turned up the radio. He quickly turned it back down and looked at me.
“Watch your mouth bruh, that’s the mother of my child you talking about.”
“As a fucking heart attack.”
“Damn man, I’m sorry. She keeping it?”
“Hell yeah we keeping it,” he said as he rubbed his temple. He looked stressed and I probably wasn’t making it any better by questioning him so I climbed in the back seat with Serenity. She was fast asleep. I wonder if she’s ever been on a plane before. Most people try sleeping before they fly because they don’t want to do it on the plane. She just might be up by herself then if that’s the case. I don’t know why but I get the most peaceful sleep on an airplane.
C H R I S B R O W N:
After the meet and greet, Mike and I decided to stop and eat at iHop. Mike had an attitude because he wanted to go somewhere else a bit more expensive and crowded. I’m not down for all of that though. After signing over a hundred posters and being harrassed by crazy ass fans, a crowd was the last thing I wanted.
“Can I take y’all order?” an elderly woman said as she got to the table. I was thinkful they didn’t send a younger girl over to serve us, she probably doesn’t even know who we are and that’s the way I like it.
“I got it mama, you can take a break.” I looked up from my menu and saw the same girl from the mall.
“Look who it is, Iesha’s cousin. Where did y’all run off to? I was going to buy you guys lunch or something but when I turned around, you were gone,” I said as I checked out her name tag, Alani.
“We didn’t want to hold you up anymore than we already had and I had to be to work soon. Anyway, what can I get you both?” she said as she looked down at her pad.
“You can get me everything on this page right here, and tell the next table you deliver the check to, that I got it!,” Mike said as he smacked his menu down on the table.
“It’s cool that you want to pay for someone else’s meal but ordering everything off the damn menu isn’t. Nigga you know you not going to eat all of that shit anyway,” I said as I threw my menu at him.
“Man whatever, I’m out anyway. Chyna on her way to come get me.”
“Nigga, what she doing in Louisiana, of all places?”
“What you mean? She came to see her man, something you wouldn’t know about!”
“That girl was a one night stand, now you her man? You right, I don’t know anything about that and I don’t want to know. I’ll see you back at the crib though bruh,” I said as we dapped each other up before he ran out to the parking lot. Sure enough, Chyna was out there waiting for him.
“So, does that mean he’s not paying for their meal?” Alani asked as she pointed to a table of what seemed like specially challenged elders with their helpers.
“You know what, I’ll take care of it, you can put it on my card Alani,” I said as I handed it to her. She just smiled at me as she took it out of my hand.
“How do you know my name?” she asked.
“I don’t really tell my fans this because they’d probably think I’m crazy but…I’m psychic,” I whispered to her. Her face began to light up at the same time her eyes got bigger, like she actually believed me.
“I’m joking ma, it’s on your name tag,” I said as I pointed to the pin on her shirt. She looked down at it and began to laugh.
“I’m such a dork, sorry. Anyway, you never told me what you wanted. What can I get for you?”
“You know what, I think I’ll just pay for their meal and be on my way…not in the mood for this anymore.”
“Well okay, how long you staying in Louisiana?” she asked as I followed her over to the cash register.
“Just until the 23rd probably, want to get back home for Christmas.”
“And where’s home for you? Some place nice with Karruche I bet.” I just laughed at her as she handed my card back to me.
“Virginia, some place nice without Karruche,” I said as I turned around and headed for the door. The same feeling I got in the mall came rushing back. I didn’t pay it any attention…mainly because I don’t know what kind of feeling it is and why the hell I keep getting it.
S E R E N I T Y:
Once again I woke up to a silent house. I looked at my phone to see it was almost 4:00 and I haven’t stepped a foot out of bed yet. As I tried to get out of bed, a sharp pain raced through my head and knocked me off of my feet. I figured it’s just a migrane so I got up slowly and made my way to the kitchen for medicine. I looked through the cabinet and got two bottles out and set them on the counter. As I turned around to get water out of the refrigerator, I bumped into something hard. I looked up and almost had a heart attack, it was Chris.
“What the hell are you doing here? How did you even get in here? How long have you been here?” I said as I backed up from him.
“I’ve only been here since 3:30, you’re mom let me in while her and your dad go to the movies or something,” he said as he looked at one of the pill bottles I set on the counter. “What you doing with these?”
“None of your damn business. None of that still explains why you’re here though,” I said as I snatched the pill bottle out of his hand.
“I’m only here for two more days Serenity, I’m going home on the 23rd. I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I leave.”
“The 23rd? Why would you even try talking to me if you knew you were leaving and probably not coming back for a while? You made me like you just so you could leave me?”
“So you admit it, you do like me?” he asked as he pulled me closer to him. I turned my head in the opposite direction so I wouldn’t look at him. He gently held my cheeks so I was forced to look at him. “Shawty, stop with all the games. Either you like me or you don’t. I know you do but I need to hear you say it.”
“Okay, I like you Chris but it doesn’t matter because you’re leaving in two days and probably never coming back. It’s okay, I’m use to this. How about you leave now—” before I could finish, he pulled me closer to him and kissed me. It wasn’t just a regular kiss though. It felt like so much more. It felt…right.
“I’m not leaving you Ni-Ni,” he said as he left my lips begging for more. I smiled at the way he called me by nickname. I don’t know why but it made me feel like I was sincerely more than just a groupie or fan to Chris even though he’s tried to make that point ever since we’ve met. “You’re coming with me, I asked your parents and everything and they’re cool with it. Well, your mom is but I’m not too sure about your dad.”
“Wait, you just said you wanted to spend as much time with me as you could before you left—”
“I know, I was testing you to see if you’d actually care about me leaving and you fell right in to my trap ma. So, you down or what?”
“Chris I’d love to but I can’t leave my family during Christmas, there are so many family traditions we do together and…I don’t know, I can’t do it.”
“You’ll be back on the 27th, they said they won’t open a single present until you come back. They said they’ll even redo the family tradition stuff just for you. Look, I’ve met your family and I think it’s only right for you to meet mine.” He looked down at the bottle I still had in my hand then snatched it away from me. “It could be good for you too. My mom and aunts will tell you a thing or two about these,” he said as he opened up the bottle and poured the pills in the trash.
“Chris! What the hell, I need those!” I shouted as I tried to stop him but another sharp pain in my head kept me from doing so. He finished pouring the last of the pills into the trash as he looked at me.
“I don’t want to see you with this damn poison in your hand ever again. I had to watch my aunt suffer behind these damn things. I know the comments from that picture hurt you but what they think doesn’t matter. I like each and every curve on you, trust me. You don’t need any diet or weightloss pills and you don’t need to loose any weight for me or the public.”
“I wasn’t doing it for you or for the public. I was doing it for me. I’ll be invited to those award shows right? I want to make sure I look good in my dress while by your side,” I said as I smiled at him, he couldn’t help but smile back.
“You plan on sticking around that long, huh? Good, because I didn’t plan on letting you go any time soon either. We’ll do this the right way though, with good food and exercise. You have to promise me it’s simply to get healthy and not to change your appearance for the public.” I just shook my head yes as he hugged me. My eyes roamed over to the trash can my pills were now in. I just fed Chris a bunch of lies. Lord knows I’m not doing this to simply get healthy. I want to make the comments of every person that wrote something negative under that picture totally irrelevant. I want the public to see Chris has someone who could be on the same level of beauty as Rihanna and Karruche when they see me. As of now, I feel like those diet pills are the only thing that will give me the results I want in a short period of time.
S E R E N I T Y:
“Ma, Dad, let me explain before you kill me,” I said to my Mom and Dad as I walked into the door. They were both in their usual spots at this time of morning, reading the paper, watching the news, and drinking coffee
“Hey! How yall doing?” Chris asked as he burst in the door. Fuck, I told him to stay out in the car until I text him and told him it was okay to come in. I need to warm my parents up to the fact that I spent the night with a complete stranger almost, and the fact that he’s a celebrity doesn’t make it any better.
“Serenity Elizabeth McFadden, you have 30 seconds to explain where you were last night and why there’s a thug in my living room,” my mom said as she pulled her glasses down to the tip of her nose while looking over them at Chris and I. Chris just rolled his eyes as he step forward and extended his hand.
“Hi, I’m Chris Brown. It’s my fault Serenity never came home last night. We got caught up in my studio. Once I get started making music, it’s hard to stop. I sincerely apologize and it won’t happen again.”
“I know it won’t happen again Mr. Brown because she’s grounded, I’m not sure when you might be able to see her again. Serenity is to be a doctor or surgeon, not some musician…therefore your services are no longer needed Mr. Brown.” Before I could say anything, I heard Ashley’s feet hit the ground as she ran down the steps.
“Oh my God, what are you doing here Chris? Mom, don’t talk to Chris like that! Chris, how are you?” Ashley said as rambled between talking to mom and Chris.
“Uh, hey shawty…I’m good. I’m just dropping Serenity off, I need to head back now…got a couple of interviews I need to do. I’ll call you later Serenity,” he said as he wiggled out of Ashley’s embrace, kissed my forehead, then headed for the door.
“Mom, grill her later…we need to talk,” Ashley said as she pulled me all the way upstairs and into her room.
“Ashley I’m pretty tired, can’t we talk later? I’m pretty sure I’m on house arrest for the rest of my life, so I’ll be here when you get back from school,” I asked her as I lay down on her bed.
“I’m pretty sure you are tired. How the hell did this happen? I mean, where do you guys meet? I mean….I don’t know what I mean right now, how did you spend the night at his house…or hotel?”
“It wasn’t his house or hotel, it’s Tyga’s…don’t ask me why Tyga has a mansion in Louisiana of all places, I wondered the same thing.”
“Tyga? Oh my goodness, you are so lucky! If I didn’t have to go to class, I’d drill you about everything…it can wait until later though. That gives you the chance to sober up, I can smell it on your breath.” She pecked me on my cheek, got her books, then slammed the door behind her as she left. I just shook my head and checked my phone as I plugged it up to her charger.
9:45 am Chris: Serenity Elizabeth McFadden, I hope you ain get in 2 much trouble. I’m sure ya mom will come around…ya Dad didn’t look to happy 2 see me either. Lol, its all good tho. I’ll make em love me, don’t worry. You need your car back so I’ll drive it back to you later, maybe I can get Tyga’s cook to come and cook dinner for us and your family, you down ma?
9:47 am Me: Chris, I have too much of a hangover to answer this properly right now.
9:50 am Chris: Haha, I’ll see you around 7 ma.
“Serenity, Aunt Lisa is coming over soon and needs you to babysit Kendall and Kylie,” my mom said as she burst into Ashley’s room.
“Mom, I’m really not in the mood to babysit the twins right now. They’re two…remember what people say about kids when they’re two? It’s the “terrible two’s” stage and I can’t deal with them, not today…not with this headache.”
“You were perfectly fine last night with Mr. Brown so you’re watching them today. Instead of grounding you like I want to, your father is making this your punishment. So, get up and get showered.”
“I’d rather be grounded.”
“I know, blame your father. Come on, get up honey,” she said as she kissed my forehead then pulled me off of Ashley’s bed. I’m really not in the mood to deal with those darn twins, they’re evil and my dad knows this. That’s why he’s making it my punshiment.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I hate interviews with a passion. I don’t even know why I signed up for this shit. They don’t focus the questions around what’s important, which is the music…instead they focus it around my personal life and it gets annoying after a while. Mike promised this interview wouldn’t be like all the rest of them though, I hope he’s right. I damn sure don’t have a problem with walking out and getting in the car. I’ll wait right there until he’s done with his part of the interview. Fuck the media, I’m not letting them make me lose my cool anymore…that’s all they want from me.
“Okay okay, I’m Angie and we got Tyga and my man Chris in the building at 106.5 radio station. Chris, Tyga….how y’all doing? What y’all doing all the way down in Lousiana for anyway?” I remember Angie, she was the same reporter that drilled me at the club one time…she was doing an interview for some self publishing magazine she was trying to get up and running. I answered a few questions but Big Pat apparently saw how annoyed I was and asked her to leave. I hope she doesn’t bring that up again.
“Wassup Angie? We good ma, we just down here…filming, chilling, ya know? Chris actually filmed one part of his video here in some club, I forgot the name of it but yeah, we just working like always.” I was glad Mike talked first, I’m letting him do most of the talking…maybe she won’t focus on me as much.
“Okay, that’s cool. I feel you. Now, Chris…what are you up to these days? Are we getting another album soon? Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy the mixtapes but there’s nothing like an album, right?”
“Since I’m not really giving or doing much else in Louisiana, I guess I can give a little exclusive to the radio station here. So, yes there’s an album coming…we’re shooting for some time in July. There’s already been a single leaked from it, don’t ask me how it got leaked but if you go looking hard enough, I’m sure you’ll find it.”
“Alright, you know I’ll be searching later on today. What can we expect to hear on this album you’re working on?”
“This album is pretty much just me…expressing myself, coming out of the little shell I put myself in. As you probably know, this is the first interview I’ve done in a while. I shut everything else out so I could work on the album. We still have a long way to go until July but we’re working, nonstop.”
“Right..now when you say this album is just you, expressing yourself…what exactly are you expressing? Is it past relationship problems or you know…that kind of stuff. I’m sure the fans are dying to know how you really feel about some things.”
“My real fans already know how I feel about most things. Let’s talk about Tyga’s new song though, you heard it yet? That shit is fire, right?” I had to get the attention off of me, I knew all too well what she was trying to get to.
“You talking about Rack City? That is fire! Tyga Tyga, when we getting an album from you?” Before answering, Tyga smashed my face against the microphone, making all types of noises on the radio. I laughed, he didn’t like interviews either but it’s his fault for scheduling this wack ass one.
“Album is coming soon man, I don’t have all kinds of details to give you like Chris over there though…mainly because I suck at that kind of shit…I just make the music. I let other people handle the rest.”
“I feel you, it’s all good. Breezy, I need to know man…I got fans tweeting me so I have to ask…how are things with Karruche? You don’t find it hard to love again after the situation with Rihanna? It’s been a while now, I figure we can talk about.” Fuck, I knew it was coming. If I could do one interview without those types of questions, I swear I wouldn’t mind doing interviews more often but this is the shit I have to deal with. Mike just shook his head, he knew I didn’t like this, one bit.
“I’d rather not talk about that. Kae’s good though, she’s cool. Hit her up on Twitter and ask her how things are, maybe she’ll tell you.” I lied, I know damn well things are not good with Karruche. She’s called and left a million messages but I’m just not ready to deal with the bullshit that I know talking to her is going to bring.
“Come on Chris, I mean…we’ve seen pictures of you and Rihanna. It’s no big secret that you guys are friends again…she’s even followed you back on Twitter. Is there any chance of you and Rih getting back together? Or, is this plus size girl your new boo? She’s cute though, I didn’t know you like big girls, where’d you find her?” She turned her computer screen around and showed me a picture of Serenity and I, walking in the mall and then again at Red Robin. Fuck! It wasn’t even crowded in the mall or Red Robin, not too many people even recognized me, there wasn’t paparazzi or anything else around..at least I don’t think it was. How the hell did she get pictures then? I should have known this would happen, I don’t even know why I expected it to be different here in country ass Louisiana. This is not Virginia, this is not home…I need to keep reminding myself that.
“And on that note, I think I’m done with this interview. Mike you can stay, but I’m out,” I said as I pushed my chair back and headed for the door. I wanted to pick up the chair and throw it out a damn window, just to give the media something else to talk about. My phone started vibrating. I looked down and saw I had a text from Serenity.
1:30 pm Serenity: I’m listening to the radio and….I swear that lady was talking about me…she was, wasn’t she?
I just closed her text, I didn’t want to text her back in the state of mind I’m in right now…I might end up saying something I know I’ll regret. I tried pushing my phone down in my pocket until it vibrated again, this time it was Kae.
1:35 pm Kae: I don’t know why you aren’t answering my calls but I’m here in Louisiana…waiting for you at Tyga’s house…his guard let me in. I’m not quite sure what’s going on thanks to the radio interview I just heard but we need to talk, as soon as possible.
1:40 pm Me: No we don’t, it’s over Kae. It was over when you decided to pack and leave without telling me shit. I don’t even know what I did. You had me up all damn night, wondering what it was I did to make you leave. Now, I realize you’re just selfish and don’t think before you act, you knew I’d lose it if I came home and you weren’t there. Please, do yourself a favor and don’t be there when we get back, Tyga might have you escorted out and I don’t want you to be humiliated like that. Deuces.