S E R E N I T Y:
It seemed like hours passed before Big Pat finally came rushing towards Mama J and I in the waiting room, telling us we could go see Leah. The whole time we waited, Mama J and I talked about everything. She could tell how nervous I was. I think I had to be more nervous than Chris was. I know I talked a good game but I don’t know the first thing about being a mother. I just know that Chris needs me, he can’t do this by himself and once I agreed to take him back, I agreed to accept Leah too..they’re a packaged deal. However, Mama J talked some sense into me. She helped me see that I was made for this. I’ve always wanted a family, I didn’t think I’d have it this soon but I do and I’m grateful.
The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew I loved her. It was like an instant connection when Chris placed her in my arms. I honestly didn’t understand how Tiffany was able to turn her back on her daughter after seeing her. The emotions I felt rushing to me should have been felt by no one other than her birth mother, but there I stood…speechless as I held her. I made a promise to Leah that day, even though her birth mother couldn’t see that she’s a gift from God, I could. I promised to love her more than I’ve ever loved myself. By me being adopted, I know how crucial it is to make that connection early. My birth mother never made a connection with me even though she had me for four years. I can honestly say, I don’t remember much about her and it’s because she didn’t create that bond with me before she handed me over to another family. Therefore, I feel sorry for Tiffany if she ever does decide to come back in her life, it won’t be an easy process.
"You’re a natural," Chris said as he came into Leah’s room and stood beside me. The first night home, Mama J stayed over and helped me with everything but by the second day…I had everything quickly under control and in order. I guess I am a natural at this.
"So are you," I told him as I turned to face him. I was rocking Leah to sleep and from the looks of it, I was successful. I then kissed her cheek before handing her over to Chris. I walked out of her room and into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Chris soon followed me, sitting down and placing a fast asleep Leah on his chest. Watching Chris interact with his daughter the past three days has completely changed the way I looked at him. I’ve never seen him so gentle and so caring. I didn’t think it was possible to fall more in love with him in just three days, but I did.
"Come here," he said as he tugged at my elbow so I could lay beside him on the couch. I rested my head on the side of his torso that Leah wasn’t on. It was silent for a while as I just watched his chest move up and down as he drew circles with his finger on my back. "You think you slick, huh?" he asked softly, careful not to wake Leah.
"What are you talking about Brown?" I replied as I took Leah’s blanket from behind Chris and wrapped her in it, I was beginning to get cold so I know she was.
"You thought just by not talking about your birthday, a nigga would forget. Too bad I didn’t," he said as he shot me that goofy ass smile that I grew to love so much. I just giggled to myself as I looked at him. I was kind of hoping he would forget. I’ve never been one to want a lot of attention on my birthday. It’s just another day and I’m just another year older, it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t mind going all out for others on their birthday, it’s just…I don’t want anyone to go all out for me..for one day. I just can’t get with that whole idea of people treating their birthdays like it’s basically a holiday.
"Christopher, I don’t want or need anything all extravagant. Just having you and Leah is honestly the best gift anyone could ever ask for," I told him as I reached up and pecked his cheek.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I hear you. You can’t expect me to just pretend like the day doesn’t exist though. I promise I won’t go all out like I had planned to but…" he stopped talking as his eyes trailed off from looking down at me to staring up at the wall, he had something up his sleeve.
"But….what? Just spit it out Chris," I teased as I poked his side. He jerked and startled Leah but she quickly fell back asleep.
"Reach in my pocket," he said as he looked back down at me. I rolled my eyes as I began to sit up. "Nah, not like that. Seriously, I need you to get something for me," he said as he pulled me back down. I did as he said and reached into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulled out two sets of keys. I was confused.
"Why do you have two sets of keys in your pocket?" I asked him. He just swung his legs off of the couch and carefully got up with Leah. He then disarmed the alarm to the front door before standing in front of it. "You going to get up, or what?" I got up from the couch and he opened the door for me, I walked out first and he soon followed. He then led the way to the garage. He disarmed the alarm for it and opened it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
"Chris…" I couldn’t even think of anything else to say as my Lexus sat in the garage with a new paint job and new rims. I left my car in Louisiana when I left for Paris so the trouble he went through to get it in Virginia meant more to me than the actual car.
"I thought I’d shine your baby up for you. I know how much your first car means to you so I brought it up here," he said as he walked over to me and placed his arm around my waist, kissing my forehead.
"Thank you so much baby. I love it but, what’s the other key for?" I asked as I looked down at the second pair of keys I had in my hand. He passed Leah to me and walked over to the car that had a covering on it. He pulled the covering back and a Lamborghini with a camo paint job to match his stared back at me.
"Chris, baby…what on earth—"
"I heard you talking about how much you liked my Lambo once I got the paint job, so I went ahead and got my baby one too. So when everybody sees you, they know that’s me," he said proudly. I just shook my head as I smiled at him. I couldn’t even lie, I did like the car and I couldn’t wait to drive in it.
"Lord, what other 19 year old do you know that drives a Lamborghini?" I said as I began to open up the car and check it out. He took Leah from me and got in the passenger side. I took that as my cue to go ahead and drive it, just around the block though because we didn’t have Leah’s car seat with us to go any farther.
"I had one when I was 19," he said as I pulled out of the garage. I had to adjust to how quickly this car took off.
"Let me rephrase that for you, what normal 19 year old drives a Lamborghini?" He just laughed as he re-positioned Leah in his arms.
"When will you realize you aren’t a normal 19 year old either?" he asked. I just brushed him off as I started to make my way back to the condo. People were already gawking at the car, wondering who was inside. Chris has driven his Lambo around pretty often so they probably thought it was him in the driver’s seat. I was just thankful that the windows were tinted. Minutes later we finally pulled back into the garage and I looked over to see Leah was stirring and finally woke back up.
"I’m going to make dinner. I think it’s daddy’s turn to give his princess a bath," I told Chris as we got back inside the house. He stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at me.
"Babe, I don’t know how to give her a bath. How about I make dinner and you make her smell good because I think she just shit too," he said as he wrinkled his nose and held her in the air. I just shook my head as I took Leah into my arms. Before I walked away, I tugged on his shirt so he lowered himself down to my height. I then placed a kiss on his lips.
"Thank you for my gifts babe. I love them, not as much as I love you though," I told him.
"I’m glad you like it and I love you too baby. What you want for dinner though?"
"You volunteered, you think of something," I told him as I stuck my tongue out and made my way to Leah’s room. I took off her dirty diaper then got her ready for bath time. She’s about the only baby I know that absolutely loves to take a bath. Most babies scream to the top of their lungs when a drop of water touches them but not Leah, she’s all smiles and giggles when I bathe her.
About 15 minutes later, I finished bathing Leah and dried her off. Chris managed to have dinner ready in thirty minutes afterwards. He ended up making tacos, way too many for only two of us to eat but it was good nonetheless. While we ate, I fed Leah her bottle and rocked her until she fell asleep again. I kept questioning Chris on his plans for tomorrow but he quickly caught on and kept quiet so he didn’t spoil whatever he had planned for my birthday. After a while, I just stopped trying. Chris is going to be Chris and whatever he does, I’m pretty sure I’ll get over the intitial shock of it and end up liking it…I always do.
The next day, I woke up to an unusually silent home. By this time, I’d hear the baby monitors going off with Leah’s crying or Chris in the kitchen, doing his best to fix a bottle or breakfast for us. Instead, I rolled over to a piece of paper with a bunch of Chris’ artwork on it and a messily written note. :
To the love of my life,
I know I said I wasn’t going to do anything all extravagant but honestly ma, you deserve it. You’ve stuck by my side when anyone else would have walked away from me. You’ve held me down when I was at my worst and helped me get to a point where I was at my best. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you. I thank you for giving me another chance and I swear I know what to do with it this time. You and Leah are honestly the best part of my day and I’ll do all I can to make sure I never lose either of you. So, with that being said…today is your day ma. Get dressed and head to the address on the back of this note where you’ll enjoy breakfast. Don’t worry, Leah is with my mom and you’ll meet up with them soon. Happy birthday though Ni-Ni, I love you baby.
I wiped away the tears that puddled under my eyes as I read the note. I think this note will mean so much more to me than anything else he has planned, simply because it’s rare for him to express his feelings like that. After a while I finally got myself together and went into the closet to pick out something to wear. To my surprise, there was an outfit with plastic covering over it and a note that read “Wear this” tapped to it. I smiled as I took off the covering and fell in love with the simple outfit he must have gotten Sevyn or his mom to pick out. I then ran to the bathroom to shower. About 30 minutes later I got out and blow dried my hair. I ended up just putting it in a braid after I thought about what I could be doing today, it couldn’t be anything that required me to be all fancy.
I then finally got dressed and picked up the note, my phone, and began to search for my keys. I finally found them in the kitchen where a note was placed beside it that read “Take the Lambo today.” I just shook my head as I walked out of the condo and into the garage. I opened up the door to the Lambo and rose petals and the scent of Chris’ cologne filled the car. I then looked at the passenger side and saw a Samsung Galaxy 4 box with another note attached to it in the seat. : “I didn’t forget how you said you were tired of your iPhone and wanted this instead either. Your other phone has already been deactivated and this one is set up and ready to go. I put the address on the note in the GPS system, just follow the directions and you’ll be at your destination shortly. Hope you’re enjoying your little scavenger hunt so far. ;)”
I pulled the phone out of the box and smiled at the picture of all three of us as my wallpaper. I then found the case he bought me and put it on so I wouldn’t drop it and break it within the first day I got it. After I got everything straight, I started the car and followed the GPS directions. I was soon in the heart of Richmond and ended up at a very small restaurant in the mist of a strip mall. I parked my car and noticed there were pink balloons attached to the arch of the door. I got out and made my way up to the entrance of Family Secrets and went in.
"Surprise! Happy Birthday Ni-Ni" I looked around to see the faces of Chris’ family and friends, and my family, from my parents right on down to Mackenzie. I was soon swarmed with hugs and kisses from everyone as they wished me happy birthday individually. I didn’t even notice I was crying for what had to be the third time today. To see everyone I love stop what they were doing to come to Virginia for me, it meant everything to me.
Mama J was the last to greet me with Leah in her arms and I remembered that this would be the first time that they all got to meet her. I ended up telling my mom the whole story behind Leah but she made up some lie to tell my dad, simply because she knew how much I didn’t want him to judge Chris or our situation. He still didn’t like the fact that I was “acting” like a mother at such a young age but, this isn’t an act…I’ve fully taken on this responsibility as if it was my own to begin with.
"Alright now, everybody eat up so we can meet Chris at Serenity’s final present for today!" Mama J said as the staff of the restaurant began to bring out our food. I sat down by Macki and Ashley while my mom and dad were intrigued over Leah. Mijo, Kid Red, Austin and a couple of Chris’ other cousins that I haven’t met came over to meet me and my family. We all ate and enjoyed conversation for a good hour until Mama J began to round everyone up to head to their own cars. Again, she took Leah with her because I wouldn’t dare drive her around in the Lamborghini. As I got in my car, my phone began to vibrate with a text from Chris.
12:15 Bae <3 : I hope you enjoyed breakfast with your family. Follow Mijo for your next destination, he knows you’re following him too so he shouldn’t leave you, if he does…I’ll kick his ass lol. See you soon babe.
12:17 Me : I did enjoy it, I’ve enjoyed everything so far. I can’t wait to see you. <33
C H R I S B R O W N:
I started planning everything the day after she took me back. I had to make sure this day didn’t go un-noticed. I had to make sure she knew how special she is to me. Regardless of how busy I’ve been, I cleared everything out of my schedule to plan this. Sevyn wasn’t really happy with that because she ended up having to apologize to a lot of companies and people but she understood why I was doing it. Honestly, all of this would have fallen apart if it wasn’t for her. I knew how I wanted to set everything up, I just didn’t know how to go about doing all of it. I left that all up to her and she came through, I couldn’t ask for a better assistant.
"You ready for the performance Boss Man?" Big Pat asked me as I put the rest of my blunt out in the ashtray. I can honestly say, after I stopped drinking…I stopped smoking as well. It’s just, I’m nervous as hell and at the moment, it seemed like the only thing that would calm me down.
"About as ready as I’ll ever be. Sev get everything straight?" I asked him as I got out of the tour bus and straightened myself up.
"Yeah, everything is ready and everyone is here. You got the ring?" As soon as he asked that, I began to panic as I felt around in my pocket.
"Fuck man! Where the fuck did I put it?" I hopped back on the bus and looked every where for it. After about two minutes of seeing me freak out, Big Pat finally cleared his throat and snapped the box of the ring shut before throwing it to me, asshole.
"Breezy, calm down man. You got this," he said as he dapped me up. I just shook my head as I tried to calm myself down. We then began to walk to the back of the stage without me being seen, but that soon failed as I got bombarded by fans. I hugged as many fans and took as many pictures as I could before Steve shut the whole operation down and refused to let any other fans through.
Today, I’m giving Virginia a little surprise as well as Serenity. I chose to give a little performance at King’s Dominion, the only amuesment park close to Richmond. I figured since I’ve been home for quite a while, the least I could do was give a free performance to anyone that comes to the amusement park today. I asked for it not to be advertised because Serenity would have definitely found out that way but even without it, as I looked out into the crowd from backstage, it was a good turn out. Serenity asked for me not to do anything all “extravagant,” an amusement park is far from extravagant but the way the performance is lined up, definitely is.
"Alright Bighead, you warmed up and ready? Ni-Ni and the rest of the family are on their way backstage. You go on in five minutes," Sevyn said as she plucked the back of my neck. I laughed as I shook my head. I warmed up earlier, it’s just the process of remembering everything I wanted to say that was the biggest task at hand. Soon, I heard a bunch of commotion backstage, I looked over to see my big ass family first. Then, I saw my girl..holding my baby girl…and every inch of nervousness I had quickly disappeared. It was at that moment that I knew exactly what I wanted to do, sing, and say in this performance.
I stepped on stage and the crowd went crazy. It’s been a while since I’ve performed here in Virginia, so I knew I had to make it one that each individual remembered until I could get out here for another show. Before the music started, I greeted the crowd and let them know that today’s show would be a little different from what they’re use to, and to bare with me. They seemed a little confused but as the music started, all of that seemed to go away. Don’t Wake Me Up was the first song and I sung, I looked back to see Ni-Ni swaying with Leah in her arms, I then remembered something that I had to share with the audience.
"Alright, so there’s this girl right? When I met her, I knew there was something special about her. So I did what any other guy would do, I stalked her," I said as I sat down on the edge of the stage as the music faded out, the crowd burst into laughter. "Nah seriously though, I just wanted some of her time, to get to know her better but she wasn’t having it. I went to an extreme and stole her car keys, making her go on a date with me to Red Robin," as I recalled the story, I couldn’t help but laugh right along with the crowd.
"On the way to Red Robin, I had to make her an offer…or deal. I asked her what her favorite song was. She told me it was, Don’t Wake Me Up. I told her that if I sung it for her in the car, she had to at least make an effort to have a good time with me, and try to get to know me…not Chris the superstar, but Chris…the guy that found her absolutely stunning." The audience let out a loud ass "awww," as they sat and listened to my story intently, they were loving every bit of this.
"She agreed, I sung it for her and she did her best to try and have a good time with me. Let’s just say the date didn’t go that well though. However, that wasn’t the last time I saw her. I came around often until she finally started warming up to me. I did things I thought I’d never do before, just for her. Honestly, she had me wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even know it. Then finally, she gave in and we gave that relationship thing a try and soon, it got rocky…I won’t even lie," after I finished, I looked back and told them to start the next song, Don’t Judge Me.
You’re hearing rumors about me
And you can’t stomach the thought
Of someone touching my body
When you’re so close to my heart
I won’t deny what they’re saying
Because most of it is true
But it was all before I felt for you
I stopped singing and let the crowd sing the chorus as I looked back at Serenity, her eyes looked glassy but she was all smiles.
"I’m being real with y’all right now, I messed up…badly, until she wanted nothing else to do with me. I worked hard to make it up to her though, and after a while she took me back. The previous stuff with the rumors and what not, didn’t even matter. She didn’t judge me. After that we were going strong, and I can honestly say…I fell in love. She did too, it was just at a slower pace. But, I told her I’d wait." I got mixed emotions from the crowd as the next song began to play, it seemed like they wanted me to tell more of my story before singing.
It seemed just like the perfect move at the time
For me to make you mine
(Girl you sexy from head to toe)
You said you think we should wait a while
And it might be hard but
But I won’t complain
You could’ve been anywhere else but you’re here with me
We can travel to space
As long as I got you right here next to me
Woahhh, girl I’ll wait
Ohhhh, for you, yes I will
Ohhhh, I said I’ll wait for you
"It seemed like nothing could separate us. Everything was going well and I couldn’t fall more in love with her. Then, I went and messed it all up…again," I said as the music still played in the background. The crowd sighed, like they were fed up with my bullshit as well, just from hearing the story.
"I know, I know. This time, it was serious. We ended it and I just knew my life was crashing down around me. I didn’t see her for months, it was very rare that I even talked to her. She was serious about letting me go. I didn’t deserve her, and she didn’t deserve to go through what I put her through, so I just let her have her space…that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it all back though" I cued the music and a song from a previous album blast through the speakers as I began to sing.
If I had the moment
I’d capture that moment
You would be right here next to me
If I had the secret,
The secret to your love,
I would place the treasure beneath my heart
Lock it all up,
And throw away the key
I would never give it up
Cause I was just a fool,
A fool for you
When I loved you so childishly
And I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all
I want it all back
You never miss a good thing til it’s gone,
I want it all, now I want it all back
"Thanks to the good Lord above, I was blessed and got it all back. She came back to me and I’ve turned myself around, to make sure I never lose her…or someone else ever again. You guys ready to meet her?" The audience lit up at that question as the music died down. I watched as Big Pat sat out a chair on the stage. I then looked back at Serenity, her eyes got huge, I could tell she was mad confused.
"Alright, it’s her birthday. So in order for her to come out, I need you guys to help me sing Happy Birthday to her. Yall down?" They burst out in something I couldn’t quite comprehend but soon, the whole crowd blendend together with my voice as we sung happy birthday. Serenity slowly emerged out on stage with Leah still in her arms. She sat down in the chair as she wiped away tears and waved to the crowd. As we finished the song, I stood in front of her.
"Serenity, I can’t imagine life with out you. I want you by my side every step of the way. With everything we’ve been through, it only shows that we’re strong enough to handle anything else that may happen to come our way. I pray to God every day that he helps me make the right decisions though, because I don’t want to lose you. You took me exactly as I am, but I don’t mind altering myself to be the best man for you and to avoid hurting you. Listen, I want to try and make what we have official..again," I said as I got down on one knee and pulled the box out of my pocket. The audience went crazy as Serenity’s eyes lit up.
"Serenity Elizabeth McFadden, will you marry me?" Without hesitation, she shook her head. I then placed her new ring on her finger as the camera got a close up of it so the crowd could see it better on the screen above the stage. I could tell she was impressed with the ring as well with the way she kept looking down at it. I took her by her hand, standing her up from the chair so I could plant a kiss on her lips. Once again, the audience roared with applause and approval. After, I then turned around with Serenity’s hand in mine to address the crowd.
"There’s someone else I want you all to meet though…my daughter, Leah," I said. The camera quickly got a shot of Leah to display on the screen. After the crowd settled down, I went ahead and finished my closing of the show.
"Virginia, I want to thank you all for sharing this moment with me. I love being at home, you all show so much love. I love yall just as much, if not more. Along with my family, my fans are the most important thing to me. So, I thank yall for all the support with the album and I can’t wait to come back and give you guys an official concert. Thank you!" I said before bowing and leading Serenity backstage. As soon as I met the rest of my family, they congratulated us by swarming us in big ass hugs. I felt numb though, in a good way. The blunt I hit before had nothing on the natural high I had just from seeing the smile on my girl’s face, from hearing the applause and roar of the crowd out there.
It’s official. I’m not messing anything up. I meant everything I said, I want Serenity by my side through it all. I’ve never had a girl to hold me down the way she has. She’s honestly the only female that has ever been good for me. Tiffany, Rih and Kae, they led me down a path I shouldn’t have agreed to walk with them, and I ended up getting lost. Serenity though, she found me. She got me back on the right track, helping to clean up my scrapes and bruises along the way. I wouldn’t trade her or what we have for anything in this world. She and Leah…are my world. I thank God for seeing something good in me, and giving me another chance. The only place my soon to be Mrs. Breezy and I are going from here, is up, to better places and better things…to hopefully grow old with each other.
- THE END <3
To everyone that ever read, enjoyed, and left feedback for this fanfic…I honestly appreciate you. You have no idea how much of a better writer I’ve become all because of the dedicated readers I’ve had. This isn’t the end for Chrenity though, they’ll be back soon for the SEQUEL! (:
- Amber <3
C H R I S B R O W N:
It took a fucking hour to get to the hospital because of the traffic. The whole time I tried calling Tiffany back, but she never answered. I finally just gave up with that and called the front desk. They told me what room she was in and that although she wasn’t supposed to give me such information over the phone, she didn’t suspect that any child had been born yet. I was relieved once I heard that and finally calmed down the rest of the way to the hospital.
"Y’all stay out here, I’m the only one allowed back there. Once baby girl is here, I’ll come right back out and let y’all know," I said to my mom and Serenity as I checked into the front desk. They all agreed and sat down as Big Pat and I made our way to the elevators.
I don’t know why I expected different, but the camera phone light shows began as we waited. Shit. I knew it was only time before TMZ and Perez Hilton had everything on their blogs. I could just imagine the headlines, questioning why I was racing around like a mad man in St. Mary’s, in Virginia when I was supposed to be in France. Whatever though, as long as they don’t find out the real reason, then I’m straight. When I’m ready for the world to know about Leah, that’s when they’ll find out.
"Yo, tell my mom and Serenity not to talk to anybody out there…whatsoever," I told Big Pat as he got out his phone to text them, it wasn’t a good signal in here to call.
"You good Breezy?" he asked as he put the phone back in his pocket. I just shook my head as I watched the numbers on the elevator increase as we made it to Tiffany’s floor. We walked out of the elevator and thankfully, no one was really around but the nurses and other staff. We walked around for another five minutes before we were finally in front of room 156, Tiffany’s room.
"Aye, grab that chair and pop a squat outside the door. I’m not trying to hear her mouth with you being in there and all that other unnecessary shit," I told Pat. He agreed and stole a swivel chair from the nurse’s desk and placed it under the window of the room before sitting in it. I shook my head as I took a deep breath, placing my hand on the door. I knocked twice before I opened it and walked in. I took in my surroundings and got uneasy as I did. I hate hospitals, I always have.
"What the fuck is he doing here Tiff?" I looked in the direction the voice came from and saw Mr. Kevin Durant himself, sitting by the window. All the trouble that nigga has caused me, I had the right mind to knock the glass out of the window and pitch him out of it, eleven stories high. Instead, I shoved my hands in my pocket as I leaned against the wall, looking at Tiffany. She sat herself up on her elbows as she looked back at me over her belly. It was huge, a lot bigger than I remember it being the last time I saw her. I found it fascinating.
"Shut up, you know why he’s here. You don’t want the child and neither do I. It’s his so he came to claim it," she told him as she grabbed a cup from the table beside her and began to drink from it. "Honestly, I didn’t think you’d show up. I guess I should cancel the adopting family thing, huh?"
"Yeah, you need to. What’s with you referring to your daughter, as "it" though? How are you able to so easily detach yourself from something you’ve carried for almost nine months?" I had to know. She was driving me crazy with this attitude, like she didn’t care. I know deep down inside, she does.
"Does it matter nigga? No, it doesn’t. I made a mistake that night and I don’t want to look in the face of a mistake for the rest of my life," she spat.
"Let’s not forget that at the same time you thought you were trapping me, you trapped your damn self. Does Mr. Durant know about that?" I asked as I looked in his direction. I know damn well she’s not about to sit here and act like she didn’t come up with the master plan to seduce me and poke unnoticeable holes in the condom, thinking I’d take her back if she was having my child.
"Fuck is he talking about?" he asked as he hopped up from his chair. I wish this nigga would try something, at least we only a couple floors from the Emergency Room.
"Nothing baby, relax," she said to him. "Chris, just shut the fuck up. I’m not in the mood to—" before she could finish, she doubled over in pain as one of the monitors began to beep loudly. I stood there dumbfounded as the doctors and nurses rushed into the room.
"Who’s the father of this child?" They asked in the mist of all the chaos. It took me a while to progress everything but I soon got it together and told them I was. In the same motion, they threw scrubs at me and kicked Kevin out of the room.
"Mr. Brown, we’re going to have to do an emergency C-section. At this point, there are no fatal threats for your girl friend or the baby but to avoid them, it’s just better to do it this way. Put on those scrubs and follow us to the room for surgery," the doctor said as he left the room. The nurses finished shooting what I guessed was pain medicine in Tiffany’s back before following the doctor with Tiffany’s bed out of the door. I walked past Big Pat and nudged his shoulder, the nigga had fallen asleep. He woke up and noticed my attire, he then put on goofy ass smile as he saluted me while I walked down the hallway.
"Aye, you tell these people I’m your boyfriend?" I asked Tiffany as we got into the room, trying to make light of the situaiton. I then helped the nurses get her up from her bed and onto the operating table. She groggily flicked me off as I guess the pain medicine was doing it’s job.
"Alright sweetie, the medicine we gave you early is to keep you from feeling any pain. However, you’re going to feel a lot of pressure but that’s normal. Just stay calm and relax, your bundle of joy should be here soon," the nurse said before disappearing into another part of the room. I sat down on a stool next to Tiffany.
"You hear that? "Bundle of joy," not "mistake and disappointment." I wish you were as happy about baby girl as I am. It would have made this whole situation a little better to deal with if I had your support like you have mine. We can’t go back and change what we did but the baby doesn’t have to suffer because of it." She just closed her eyes as the doctor came into the room and let us know he would begin the surgery. I don’t know if she did it because she was scared, or it was her way of apologizing but Tiffany put her arm down and held out her hand, waiting for me to hold it. It wasn’t until I heard the operation beginning and she winced at the pressure she must have been feeling, that I held onto her hand…she was scared.
It felt like hours passed before I finally heard her. As they pulled her out of Tiffany, they suctioned her mouth and nose, then laid her directly on Tiffany’s chest. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t understand how my dumbass helped create something so beautiful. They then took baby girl off of Tiffany’s chest so the doctor could stitch her up and the nurses could clean off the baby.
"Thank you," I whispered in her ear before pecking her forehead. I then got up to go see my baby girl. She was all clean now and I swear she started to look more and more like me as I stared at her.
"You have a perfectly healthy baby girl Mr. Brown, congratulations," the nurse said as she placed my bundled joy in my arms. I kissed my baby girl’s forehead as I walked back towards Tiffany. I sat back down so she could take a better look at her.
"She looks just like you," she said. I noticed the tears in her eyes and realized my words or finally seeing the baby, must have gotten to her. "Chris, please don’t think I’m heartless or I’m just out to hurt you and the baby…but as much as I want to be a mother to her, I can’t. I don’t know how and I don’t want to deprive her of the better life she’ll have without me. I know that sounds strange but, it’s true. She needs her dad, and I know you’ll be the best father she could ever ask for. If it’s worth anything, I’m sorry for all of this…for everything." As she finished, she wiped away tears that fell from my own eyes as a nurse came over with a pen and clipboard in her hand.
"You both figure out a name for her yet?" she asked. I looked at Tiffany who was just as caught off guard as I was when Serenity asked me. However, I shook my head and cleared my throat as I looked down at my daughter.
"Leah Marie Brown," I stated. I then looked down at Tiffany as she shook her head in approval. The nurse showed me the clipboard to make sure she spelled it right, I then shook my head in approval as well.
"Look, there are two amazing women waiting in the lobby that have already agreed to stand by my side and help me raise Leah. One, being my mother and the other…being my girl. Serenity has agreed to play the role of a mother for Leah if you can’t, and I wouldn’t choose anyone else to take on that job. Now, I’m not going to take away your right to see Leah or be with her, you can come see her any time you’d like. Actually, I’d like if you were apart of her life. It’s all up to you though, I’m not going to force anything on you."
"Thank you Chris. Honestly, I believe Serenity will be a better mother than I could ever be to Leah. If things happen to change and I’m ready to come into her life, I’ll give you a call but once that mother/daughter relationship is established between Leah and Serenity, I’ll never come in between that. Thanks for leaving a door to her life open for me though."
It was the first time in months that were actually able to talk like civil, human beings. It was the first time in a while that she talked out of what I could see was love, instead of anger and hatred. It was the first time she actually made perfect sense in what she was saying. I understood her. I understood our situation. I saw Tiffany in a more positive and appreciating way, and I know she feels the same about me. I never said this would be easy, but by us being on the same page…Leah won’t grow up in a hostile environment. She’ll grow up being loved unconditionally by myself, Serenity, and our families. Hopefully, she’ll experience that love from her birth mother as well…one day.
C H R I S B R O W N:
Serenity slept the whole plane ride back to Virginia, I knew she had to be tired from the night before. It’s true what they say…make up sex is always the best sex. Honestly though, it wasn’t just sex to me….it was me promising her that she was, is, and will always be the love of my life. I’ve never felt more close to her. I feel like she finally let down this wall with me, she gave me all of her and I did the same. I wanted to make her feel special, make her feel like she’s never felt before and I think I was successful.
"Nothing has changed since I left. It feels good to be back home, where I belong," Serenity said as she wandered into the condo as I sat down the bags by the door. She’s right, I haven’t changed anything since she left, mainly because I couldn’t bare to live here with her being gone, I stayed with my mom the whole time.
"It definitely feels good to have you home bae," I told her as I pulled her into my arms, kissing her forehead. "You know I love you right?" I asked as I looked her in the eye. I feel like I have to say it more often than I did before, just so she knows and never forgets it.
"I love you too Brown. I just….need to ask you something," she said as she sat down on the couch, playing with the studs on her phone case. She avoided all eye contact with me as I sat down beside her, I knew this was serious.
"What’s on your mind bae?" I said as I slid closer to her, preparing myself for what was coming next.
"I know you said you didn’t do anything with anyone in France, and you hadn’t planned on doing anything…so why were there condoms in your bag?" I thought back to what she was referring to and had to keep myself from laughing as I remembered how the condoms ended up in my bag.
"I didn’t bring any with me, they were Big Pat’s. When we first got back to your hotel, before I got in the shower that night…he shot me a text, saying he put them in there…already knowing what we were going to get into. I’m thankful he did too, somebody is a fucking freak!" I said as I wrapped my arm around her. She playfully hit my chest while shaking her head, a smile adorning her lips, her cheeks becoming rosy.
"Oh my gosh, shut up Christopher," she said as she got up and headed to the back.
"What? You trying to break in the bed already?" I playfully shouted behind her. She emerged back into the living room, shaking her head.
"Get over yourself Brown, come on, let’s go get this crib ready," she said as she put her hand in mine, guiding me to the guest room and soon to be room for my daughter. I got Sev to order everything I needed and have it delivered by the time we got back home. My daughter’s room is equipped with a crib and a changing station. Serenity, my mom and I are going out later to pick up clothes as well. Even though this caught me off guard, I refuse to let my daughter come in to this world without everything she needs.
"So what are you going to name your daughter?" As soon as she said that, my face fell to the ground. Fuck. That totally slipped my mind. With the whole release of the album, talking about touring and everything…I absolutely had no time to think of anything else.
"Damn….I don’t have a clue what her name should be. I want it to be something unique though, but still sophisticated enough that if she ever decided she wanted to work…they wouldn’t judge her from the name on her application. You feel me?" I said as I helped her neatly place the pink covers into the wooden crib. Sev did a nice job picking everything out, it damn sure was better than what I could have done.
"Well you’re in luck, I’ve been thinking of names since I found out about your little princess. What about…Riley Cherie Brown?" I thought it over, liking it less and less because I can already see myself slipping up and referring to my baby girl as "Ri" for her nickname…hell nah.
"Nah, shoot me another suggestion," I told her as I began reading the instructions, putting the finishing touches on the changing station and the dividers I had Sevyn order for the closet, just because I know Serenity is a neat freak and the dividers will help baby girl’s closet stay in some type of order.
"Well…what about Leah Marie Brown? I know that was Grandma Susie’s middle name…I thought that would be the perfect way to honor her, by them both having the same middle name," Serenity said as she sat down in the rocking chair across from me. I took a break from looking over the instructions, to think over the name. I like it. I knew she could tell too, because of the goofy ass smile I knew I was giving her.
"Leah Marie Brown it is then!" she said as she came over and pecked my lips. "You hurry up and finish this stuff. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed so we can meet up with your mom at the mall in less than two hours, you know she doesn’t like to be kept waiting Christopher,"
"Yeah okay, I’ll be in there in a second," I told her, wondering if she would pick up on my little innuendo. Seconds later, one of the stuffed animals from Leah’s crib came cascading towards my forehead, she caught on.
"I’m locking the door, so no you won’t," she had as she stuck her tongue out and headed for the bathroom. I was about to chase her but the vibration of my phone prevented me from doing so. I looked down at it and saw my mom was calling, right on time.
"Hey mama, wassup?" I asked her as I wandered into the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator.
"Close the refrigerator, you know I’m cooking once we get back from the mall." I sucked my teeth as I closed the door, I swear she got supersonic hearing or some shit. "Sheesh, what you want Ma?" I asked her as I quietly got a snack from the cabinet, shit..I’m hungry, it’s not like I’m going to refuse anything my mother cooks, and she knows that.
"Christopher Maurice Brown, I’m just going to pretend your high yellow ass didn’t just talk to me like that. Anyway, what mall are we going to and is Big Pat or Steve coming along? I don’t have time for any groupies today while I shop for my granddaughter."
"Not all fans are groupies Ma, and I think we should hit up Short Pump and I’ll keep Big Pat on standby. Oh, and guess who else is coming with us," I told my mom. I left out the part about Serenity coming to Paris and taking a nigga back, I wanted it to be a surprise when she saw her but I thought about the people we’d be around and I didn’t want her to make a scene at Short Pump mall.
"Who Christopher? You went to Paris and found someone else didn’t you?" I could just imagine her rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone.
"Ma, no…I didn’t find someone else, I was a little too busy persuading Ni-Ni to take me back. Which, she did and she’s back home with a nigga!" I heard her gasp as something happened to the phone, like she dropped it or something from excitement.
"I am so happy. I can’t wait to see my baby! Christopher, you better thank God for giving you a second chance and you sure as hell better know what to do with it."
"I do Ma, I swear she not going anywhere and I’m not going to mess it up."
"That’s what I like to hear. Now, hurry it up and get over here so I can see my baby Serenity! Love yall."
"We love you too Ma, see you soon," and with that, she hung up. While Serenity was still in the shower, I took that time to find something to wear and hop in the shower myself. I decided on a simple pair of Levi’s, a Bulls jersey, and my Breds. I then made my way to the second bathroom of the house and got in the shower. Twenty minutes had passed before Serenity came wandering into the bathroom, in nothing but a towel with damp hair and body lotion in her hand. I watched her through the clear door of the shower, I could see her perfectly as well as she could see me.
"The hell you doing girl?" I said loud enough so she could hear me over the running water. She didn’t answer me as she pumped the lotion into her hand, swung her damp hair over her shoulder, and seductively bent over to put the lotion on her legs. I looked down and saw my member standing at full attention. Fuck.
"Aye look, I just know you don’t plan on making me take care of this myself," I said as I opened up the door to the shower.
"Do you really think I’m that cruel Brown?" she said as the towel dropped to her ankles, and she made her way over to me.
"What’s gotten into you, ma?" I asked her as she guided me over to the bench like area in the shower that was for the sauna affect I had programmed in here. She sat me down and danced in front of me with so much precision and control. I’m loving this new found confidence her weight loss has given her, even though she was perfect in my eyes before it. I guess she just had to do it for herself, and I completely understood that.
"Tell me you love me," she whispered in my ear, totally avoiding the question. I sucked my teeth, the hell she thought this was, bossing me around with the shit I just used on her the previous night?
"I’ll tell you, but on my own damn time," I teased her. She laughed as she stopped dancing and headed for the shower door. I quickly got up and pulled her by the arm, if she thought she was leaving, she thought wrong. I gently pinned her up against the wall, up under the shower head, the water cascading down on us both. I kissed her lips as I let my hand slide across her center. I played with her for a minute, trying to tease her like she teased me. I saw she was biting her lip hard as hell though, any harder..she would’ve drawn blood. So I decided to stop messing with her and give her what she wanted. I guided her back down to the bench, making her spread them legs so my shit was visible. I got down to her level, trailing kisses on the inside of her thigh. She began pulling at my hair, knowing all to well what she really wanted, so I gave it to her. I kissed her center before sliding my tongue in. She tangled her hand in my hair, pushing me further. It wasn’t long before she began to shake uncontrollably, releasing on my tongue.
"Shit Chris, this is not what I had planned," she said as I came up to kiss her, "Talk to me then baby, what you had planned?" I whispered against her lips. She got up, making me trade places with her. She sat me down, easing herself on me.
"This," she whispered in my ear as she rocked her hips back and forth. "Tell me you love me," she whispered again, like she was in control. I wasn’t about to let her know she was. She smiled as she burried her face into my neck, holding herself up by the wall in the shower. I put my hands on her hip, bringing her down to ease more of me inside her as I let my hand and tongue give her breasts attention. She quickly lost all control of this situation, I commend her for her efforts though.
"Chrissss, I-I-I’m gonna—"
"Go ahead," I said as I cut her off, knowing all too well what she was going to say. Before she could though, I pulled her get up so I could teasingly pull out. I then made her bend over the bench I was sitting on. I slowly went back inside, slowing up the pace of my stroke as I felt her tighten around me, arching her back. Her legs began to shake again as she brought her hand down and quickly rubbed her clit, speeding up the process. She released all over me and her hand. She brought her finger up to my lips and I licked the rest of her juices off, I swear I don’t know where the freak in her has been hiding all along.
"Chris, your mom is waiting," she managed to say. I forgot all about that but honestly, I wasn’t quite done yet and I think she knew it.
"I’ll apologize when I get there," I told her as I pulled out and traded places with her again. I decided I’d give her a little control over this situation again. I sat back down and she eased her way back on top of me. She rocked back and forth slowly before picking up her pace. I pulled her hair back to make her neck visible, as I placed kisses along her collar bone. For a while, all that could be heard was the water still running from the shower and our skin meshing together. It wasn’t long before she had me where I wanted to be either. I began to swell inside her, knowing what was about to happen.
"Shit Serenity, wait…we forgot the condom bae," I told her as I tried to slow her up so I could pull out. She wasn’t having it though.
"Shhh, it’s okay. The pill Chris, I—have—the—pill." Once she said it was okay, I definitely took that and ran with it. I stood up and carried her back up under the shower head as I began to thrust in and out of her, picking up my speed with her legs wrapped around my waist.
"You sure about this?" I asked as I continued to work on my first, while Serenity was working on her third or forth release.
"Y-y-yes Chris," she said breathlessly as we both came together. She then unwrapped her legs from around me as I pulled out. We just stood there, under the shower head breathing hard as hell.
"I love you," I told her as I kissed her forehead.
"I love you too," she said. I grinned as we finished washing off together before finally getting out of the shower. I swear, my fingers and toes were wrinkled like crazy, along with Serenity’s. I didn’t care though, with Leah coming soon…I knew the spontaneous things like this were going to have to cease for a while, until we both got the hang of things around here.
An hour later we pulled up to Short Pump Mall and met up with my mother and Big Pat. Of course she had an attitude because we were late but she forgot all about that as Serenity came into her view. She hugged her and kissed her cheek like she hadn’t seen her in forever. I mean, it’s been a good two months but my mom is just so dramatic.
"I still don’t understand why you took his yellow ass back, I’m glad you’re home though baby," my mom said playfully as she winked at me. I just waved her off as we began walking the outside mall. I let my mom and Serenity catch up at the nail salon real quick while Big Pat and I headed over to the jewelry store, we’d meet back up when they’re done to shop for Leah.
"Yo, thanks again for looking out man," I told Pat as we took our time getting to the jewelry store. It was dead out here at the mall, I mean it’s a Monday and it’s like 3:00pm, most people are still at work, that’s why I chose to come out around this time.
"I wasn’t born yesterday Boss man, you might have been…but I wasn’t. Nigga, you pay no type of attention to Serenity, she wears everything she’s feeling right on her face. She already made up in her mind what yall were going to do that night, just by the way she looked at you." I thought over his words, shaking my head.
"You right. Those damn eyes of hers tell you everything too. I haven’t been paying attention like I should’ve been. That stops today though," I told him as we finally reached the jewelry store.
"Hello, welcome to Jared’s…what can I do for you today?" A younger girl, couldn’t be more than 20 years old, said as I wandered into the store. I was surprised she didn’t attack me or ask for pictures, I know she knows who I am. I just let it go though, less stress for me today.
"Uh yeah, can you point me in the direction of your engagement rings please?" I asked.
"Of course. Wow, Chris Brown getting engaged? Who’s the lucky girl?" she asked as she led the way to a big glass case of rings. I legit became overwhelmed at how many choices there were, just like the first time I picked out Serenity’s ring.
"Yeah, her name’s Serenity," I said mindlessly. Big Pat quickly stepped on my new Breds, like I said something wrong. I mean, there’s no one in here but her and us.
"That’s a pretty name. Well, you see anything Ms. Serenity might like?" I looked over the rings, trying to find something completely different from the first ring I gave her. I still have that ring, I could easily just put it in the shop and get the missing diamonds replaced and the band reshaped but it held too many bad memories. She needs something new so we can start off fresh. Finally, a ring with a white silver band caught my attention. The diamond on it was huge and blinded me for a second when I looked at it.
"Yeah, let me see this one," I asked as I pointed to the ring that caught my attention.
"Great choice Mr. Brown. There’s something special about this ring, we can actually engrave a message in the band of this ring if you’d like."
"In the inside or directly on top of the band as well?"
"Either way you’d like it, we can do it."
"What you think Pat?" I asked as I handed him the ring. He inspected it like he was a professional jeweler or something before placing it back in my hand. "She’ll love it Boss man," he said.
"Yeah I think so too. Alright uhh—Crystal, I’ll take this one. Where do I right down the message I want engraved?" Her eyes grew big as she realized I knew her name, until she looked down and remembered she had a name tag on. She then took the ring back and handed me a document and pen to write down the message. I thought long and hard before finally deciding and writing it down. :
Mrs. Breezy, I love you…for a lifetime.
Big Pat looked down at the paper, nodding his head in approval. I gave Crystal the pen and paper back. She read over it, smiling.
"That’s sweet. Congratulations Mr. Brown, is there any specific time you’ll be needing the ring to be ready?" Crystal asked.
"Can we shoot for this Friday?"
"Yes sir, I’ll make note of that before I send it in."
"Alright, thanks for your help ma," I told her as we shook hands and I made my way out of the store.
"That was weird," Big Pat said as we walked towards the nail salon, hoping Mama and Ni-Ni were ready.
"What you talkin’ bout big man?" I asked him.
"She knew who you were and didn’t freak out."
"Maybe she don’t get all phased by celebrities bruh, don’t give it too much thought. I know you," I told him as we walked towards the direction of the nail salon.
"What’s this Friday though nigga?" he asked as he moved to the side of me, guarding me from the oncoming traffic of potential fans. Once I looked at them, they were all elderly and couldn’t help but laugh, Big Pat took his job to the extreme sometimes. I’ve never been mobbed or hurt by a fan though so, I couldn’t even be mad.
"Her birthday. She never talks about it because she doesn’t want the attention, or she probably thought I forgot, but I’ll keep it simple. Her engagement ring and a couple of her presents are just in order," I told him.
"You don’t think you moving too fast though, with the engagement ring and all?" I thought on his question, fidgeting with my snapback.
"Honestly, I don’t. I mean I thought about it, maybe she isn’t ready to jump back into that commitment. But, I want to at least give her the option, you feel me? The worst she can say is she isn’t ready but she already told me her feelings haven’t changed about me in general though. It can go either way man."
"I feel you. Man, Breezy you really lucked up with this one. Nigga, if you let her go again..you have got to be the biggest fool I’ve ever seen. I wish I had a girl like Ni-Ni, it’s hard to find shit as genuine as what y’all have. Wake the fuck up and realize that shit man, don’t take her for granted." I was caught off guard by his lecture but I felt where he was coming from. My nigga has had a lot of let downs with the ladies. Most of them were just around so they could get closer to me, and I hated that. I pray he’s blessed with what I’ve been blessed with sooner than later.
"I know Pat, I know. Trust me, I’m not letting her go. Like you said, this is the most genuine shit I’ve had in a long ass time. It took me a while to realize it but I’m glad I did. Don’t worry though, your shorty should be around soon man. I never thought I’d love again after Rih, but here I am blessed with Serenity. Just give it time big man," I said as I dapped him up. Little does he know, Big Pat has always been more of father figure for me than anything, it was just a plus that he became excellent security when needed.
"Finally, what took y’all so long?" I asked my mom and Serenity as Big Pat and I walked into the nail salon. They were just finishing up as Serenity was about to give the cashier her credit card. I quickly moved it out of the way and sat a crisp $100 dollar bill on the counter, knowing the total couldn’t be more than forty dollars but, oh well.
"Oh shutup, you know we got caught up with talking and what not," my mom said as she put an arm over Serenity’s shoulder as we began to walk out of the salon. We were now heading to a little boutique that sold baby clothing as my phone began to ring. I didn’t know the number so I declined it. Whoever it was instantly called back again.
"Christopher, step outside and shut that thing up," my mom said as she shooed me out of the boutique. I laughed as I did what I was told. I ended up answering it, not saying anything until the person on the other end did.
"Chris? It’s Tiffany," she said breathlessly into the phone. My eyes instantly got big, I had no idea what to expect from this call.
"Wassup Tiff? You good? Whose number is this?" I asked her.
"No, I’m not good you dickhead. It’s St. Mary’s number." I ignored her insult, she sounded like she was in pain.
"Wassup then ma? Talk to me."
"They had to induce my labor even earlier, talking about I have pre-clampsia or some shit. Don’t ask me what it is, because I don’t know. I just know it’s not good for me or the baby. Get your little yellow ass down here, now or I’m calling the adopting family on stand by." Before I could say anything she hung up. I replayed her words over then immediately raced back into the boutique.
"Aye we got to bounce, Leah’s on her way," I said as I threw everything my mom, Serenity, and Big Pat had in their hands on the counter to hurry up and pay for it. It seemed like she took forever to ring it up but finally the total came to $237.50, I instantly swiped my card. Big Pat picked up all the bags and I held Serenity’s and my mom’s hand out the door.
"Wait Chris, who is Leah?" my mom asked as we were making our way out of the mall and to the car. The mall was beginning to become more crowded than when we first got there, I was glad we were leaving.
"Your granddaughter Mama." As soon as I said that, her eyes lit up. We were in the car, racing to get on the highway to quickly get to St. Mary’s. On the way there, I just kept praying that everything was okay..with my daughter and Tiffany. Although we’ve had our ups and downs, and the chick is a lunatic, I appreciated her bringing my daughter into the world. I remembered how she wanted to abort our "mistake," not too long ago but I wouldn’t allow her to. Even though she was the main cause we were in all of this with her evil ass plan, if I hadn’t stepped outside of my relationship…none of this would even be happening right now. It doesn’t matter now though, it is happening and I honestly can’t wait to have Leah in my arms. Regardless of how Tiffany feels about the baby she carried, I know this child is a gift from God and deserves to be treated as such.
C H R I S:
"Chris, what the fuck are we supposed to do? We were supposed to leave for Milan today. This is the second time we’ve cancelled dates here in France, they’ll never want your yellow ass back here!" Sevyn said as I ran around my room, packing my things…she was really beginning to pluck every last nerve I had.
"Sev, I don’t give a fuck about any of that! My child will be born in two fucking days! I’m not missing that shit for anything. So do what the fuck I pay you for and get the jet here, it’s simple." As soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew I was wrong for saying it. I stopped what I was doing and sat beside her.
"Look, I’m sorry. I’m just going through some shit right now. You know my schedule and my life more than anyone, you know I’m not prepared for this but if I’m not there when my daughter is born, I’ll never forgive myself. So please ma, just help me out. Milan will just have to wait another time, send them my deepest apologies." She just shook her head as Serenity walked through the door with her bags packed. Soon after, Red and Mijo walked in too.
"Where the hell yall going?" Mijo asked as he grabbed a drink from the refridgerator and plopped down on the bed, making the soda spill everywhere. This nigga always destroying shit, wherever he go.
I was about to tell him what was going on until I came to the realization that I told Mijo about Tiff being pregnant with my daughter, but I never told Red. I knew he was going to have shit to say that I didn’t want to hear so I just avoided the question.
"Aye Red, you meet Serenity? Serenity, this is my bro Kid Red." I said as I introduced the two and began packing my bags again. He just smiled at her as he pulled her into a hug then proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom, this nigga and his stomach problems. I took that as my chance to tell Mijo what was up though. I didn’t just want to leave him here without an explaination.
"Yo Mijo, they inducing Tiffany labor in two days nigga. So I’m ready to bounce, make sure I’m there for the birth of my daughter. You and Red can stay here if you want, matter fact…I prefer yall stay here. Red don’t know about the whole situation yet and I ain’t trying to hear his mouth. I’ll send the jet back for yall in about four days, just turn up for the rest of your time out here for me nigga."
"You know I got you bruh, go handle your business and send pictures when lil mama arrives. I’ll put Red onto the whole situation when you leave." I shook my head as I dapped him up, Big Pat and Steve entering the room. Steve ran straight over to Serenity, wrapping her up in a big ass bear hug as Pat came over to me.
"Boss Man, I say we just hit the airport. I checked on the jet like Sev asked me to and it won’t be here in a timely manner. The next flight back to the US is first thing in the morning, they didn’t have anything sooner. So, just chill for tonight because we have an early call in the morning," Big Pat said as he grabbed a drink from the refrigerator.
"Damn. Well I guess that will just have to do. Mijo and Red, yall can stay here then. Or Mijo, you can go stay with Sev in her room, y’all need to talk this shit out…acting like yall don’t see each other in this room," I said. Mijo rolled his eyes as Red finally came out of the bathroom. Sevyn just shook her head as she headed for the door, slamming it behind her. It wasn’t my problem, I told Mijo what he needed to do, it’s just on him to do it.
"Come on Ni-Ni, we can just chill in your room for the night," I said as I picked up my bags in one hand and hers in the other. "Alright niggas, I’ll see y’all in the morning," I said as I made my way towards the door. We then headed down the hallway and I instantly saw Rih out the corner of my eye. I could see the mean ass mug she was giving Serenity as we continued down the hallway. I then saw her run towards me. Shit.
"Hey Chris, wait up," she said. I kept walking while Serenity turned around. Fuck. Rih then met up with Serenity and stood right in front of her. I put the bags down, thinking I was about to be responsible for breaking up a fight.
"I apologize, for everything. I hope we can be friends or something, if not…I totally understand. Take good care of him for me though," Rih said as she extended a hand towards Serenity. I noticed tears in Rih’s eyes as Serenity hesitated, but then returned the gesture. She then smiled at me before she turned around and headed back in the opposite direction of the hallway. I hope that was the closure she needed.
S E R E N I T Y:
That was unexpected. I almost laughed when she suggested we could be friends but then I saw the tears in her eyes, I knew she was hurting. I felt her pain, Lord knows I did. I just hope she can move on with her life, she deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else. I deserve to be happy too, I think she finally realized that.
"You good?" Chris asked as I sat down on the couch in my suite, brushing my hair absent mindedly. He came and sat down beside me, still glistening from his shower in a towel.
"Yeah, I’m fine. You good?" He shrugged his shoulders as he ran his hand through his blonde curls.
"I’m cool. Just trying to process everything. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t know shit about being a dad, never really had anyone to teach me. How am I supposed to do this?"
"You’ll learn as you go along. The most important thing is that you’re accepting your daughter and you plan to be involved. That’s always the first step," I told him as I lay my head on his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"You’re right ma, thanks. I’ll be back though, going to go put some clothes on," he said as he got up. Without thinking, I prevented him from going any further by pulling on his arm. I then stood up and closed the gap between us. I ran my hands down his torso, outlining his abs. I looked up and saw a grin spreading his lips.
"You missed me, huh?" he said cockily as he turned me around, guiding me to the room then gently laying me down on the bed. I’m still not an expert at this whole thing but I did miss him. I missed how this felt. I mean…it’s been a while.
"Tell me you missed me," he whispered in my ear as he trailed kisses down my neck, while easing my shirt above my head. I bit my lip, refusing to tell him what he wanted to hear.
"Oh, so you’re not going to talk? Fine by me," he said huskily as he grabbed my hips and brought me closer to him. Before I knew it, my panties were in the same pile as my shirt. I felt him rub his thumb across my slit and I shivered. He played with my center, teasing me…before sliding one finger in. I gasped as he lowered himself onto me, gently placing another finger inside of me. He went in and out, hitting my spot each time. Just as I was about to reach my peak, he stopped. I hadn’t realized my eyes were closed but I instantly opened them, questioning why he stopped. He grinned as he spread my legs farther apart, trailing kisses along my thigh. I then felt his tongue against me. I arched my back as I found my hand tangled in his curls, pushing him further. It wasn’t long before my legs began to shake, paralyzing me as Chris took in all of my juices.
"Taste yourself," he said before placing his lips against mine. He then smiled against my lips as he dropped his towel. I felt him on the side of my thigh. I watched as he pulled away from me and walked to his suitcase, pulling out a condom. I couldn’t help but wonder why the hell he had them, if he hadn’t planned on using them.
"I’ll give you one last chance. Tell me, you missed me," he said as he strapped it on himself and stood between my legs. Once again, I refused to feed his ego. He shook his head as I felt him easing inside. I grabbed the covers as I bit my lip, feeding his ego without having to say anything.
He thrust in and out of me at a slow pace, before picking up speed. I don’t know what came over me or where I got the idea from, but I made him switch places with me, so I was on top. His hands gripped my ass tightly as I slowly eased down on him. He then sat up, placing my legs around his waist as he matched my rhythm, pulling my hips down so I could feel more of him in me. He gently pulled my hair, revealing my neck as he pulled my skin between his teeth.
One thing led to another and I then found myself on all fours, my legs growing weaker with each stroke. I arched my back, only making him pick up his speed. He leaned down, breathing shallowly in my ear.
"Tell me," he whispered. I finally gave in.
"I-I-I missed you," I whispered as I released for what had to be the fourth time. He still continued as I felt him widen inside of me. I tightened my walls around him, knowing what was about to happen, only helping to speed up the process.
"Shit! Damn Serenity," he said breathlessly as he released inside of the condom. He then pulled out and lay on the bed beside me. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm around me.
"I love you," he said as he kissed my neck once more. I smiled to myself as I replayed what just transpired. Chris and I have never explored each other like that. Yeah, we’ve had sex before but it was nothing compared to what we just did. I guess because I was still so self conscious about the way I looked before. This time, I let him have all of me without my insecurities getting in the way. Actually for once, I had no insecurities.
C H R I S:
It seemed like the hallway got longer and longer as I took the trip down to her room. It wasn’t hard to find but I purposely kept avoiding the door. I paced the floor, back and fourth…trying to plan out what I would say…trying to think of what her possible responses would be. She knew I was here, she came here for a reason…why? I pray it’s not to fuck up my life anymore than it already is. I swear, I don’t need anymore stress added to what I’m already dealing with. Maybe I shouldn’t do this then, maybe I should just walk away and pretend like she no longer exists. If I could, I would. I’d march right back into my room and pretend like Mijo never even told me she was here.
"Ch-Ch-Chris, is that you?" someone asked as they opened the door, while I walked past to head back to my room. Shit. I knew it wasn’t Rih by her voice but I didn’t know who this chick at the door was either.
"It’s Mel…you don’t remember me? Damn, I know it’s been a minute but I’ve never thought of myself as the type to be easily forgotten," she said as I walked to where she stood, so we were face to face.
"Oh yeah Mel, I remember you now. How you been?" I could really care less but, to be polite…I asked anyway.
"I’m good, thanks for asking. What brings you here though?"
"Uhm, I need to talk to Rih…where she at?"
"She’s in the bathroom, you can wait for her in here. I’m about to run to the coffee shop downstairs, you want anything?"
"Nah ma, I’m good…thanks anyway," I told her as she let me into the room, then disappeared down the hall. I heard the showerhead going as I sat down in a chair at the breakfast bar, spinning the little bottle of Vodka around in my hand. My nerves almost got the best of me as I heard her end the shower, I thought about downing the whole bottle of Vodka to ease my nerves but, somehow…I was capable of refusing it. My palms got sweaty as I heard her humming "Umbrella," to herself…while I watched her bare silhouette, as she put lotion on her legs. I jerked my head in the opposite direction, I can’t do this. I quickly got up and headed for the door.
"Chris?" she said as she emerged from the bathroom, interrupting me from escaping. I slowly turned around, praying she was fully clothed. She wore a black pair of shorts with a small ass bra, her hair was tied up and she had on socks…like she was getting ready for bed at 1:00 pm.
"Oh, hey Rih. That girl….uhm….Mel, she let me in not too long ago," I said as I wiped my hands on my pants and pulled my hat further down over my eyes.
"Oh okay, it’s fine. Have a seat, what brings you by?" she asked as she motioned for me too sit down beside her on the couch.
"Nah, I’d rather stand but uh…look, we have to talk," I told her as I began pacing the floor again.
"Okay, about what?" she asked, like she was confused…how could she be confused, she knows exactly what we need to talk about.
"Well for starters…you’re here, the same time I’m here…three doors down from my room, how on Earth could this possibly be a coincidence?" She bit her lip as she thought of a lie, something she always did when she was either nervous or I knew damn well, she was about to part her lips to speak everything but the truth.
"Don’t even answer that. Look Rih, what is it that you want from me? You came all the way out here for something, what is it?"
"I-I-I honestly don’t know Chris. I don’t know what I want. I know I still love you, my heart tells me that on a daily basis with the way it aches and throbs from just the thought of you or simply hearing your name. I don’t know where I thought this would get me but I knew I at least had to try, being that you’re single now and all." She got up from the couch and started walking towards me, I backed up from her until she had backed me completely into a corner.
"Rih, you can’t keep doi—" before I could finish my sentence, she had her hands on my pants, unzipping them and tugging at my boxers. She got down on her knees and continued to pull at me.
"Robyn, stop! Get the fuck up!" I tried gently pulling her up by the arm, but she wouldn’t budge, she had finally managed to pull my member out of my boxers.
"Shhh, just go with this…for once, in your life Chris," she whispered while she looked up at me with those big, hazel eyes. She began to stroke me and I could no longer remember what I came here for. I looked down to see her jaw locked around me and it was like nothing I ever felt before, but I knew it was wrong, I knew I had to put a stop to it…I just didn’t know how. After she was done, she pulled me over to her bed, throwing me down and straddling me. She took off her shirt as she trailed kisses from the nape of my neck to my chest.
"I’ve missed you, so much" she whispered in my ear before biting my lobe. Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted her from making any other moves and I was thankful because it gave me time to reprocess this shit and get myself together.
"I’m not going to answer it, Mel will get the hint and leave sooner or later," she said as she tried to push me back down on the bed from where I had sat up. I finally just snapped and picked her up off of me, setting her down on the bed.
"No, this is a mistake! I don’t know else to make you understand but I don’t love you like I use to! I’ll always be your friend and I’m always here for you but this can’t happen anymore, it just can’t. I’m sorry that I can’t love you the way you love me but I can guarantee you that there’s someone out there that does deserve the love you keep wasting on me," I told her as I put myself back together, straightening out my clothes. As I finished, I looked over at her and noticed tears threatened to escape her eyes, all because of me. I just walked over to her, pecking her forehead before making my way to the door. As I walked out of her room, I saw Mel sitting on the floor with a big ass grin on her face. She was about to say something but I waved her off, signaling I didn’t want to hear her slick ass comments.
"What the hell happened? You been over there for some shit," Mijo said as I walked back into my room. I just ignored him as I got my clothes and headed for the bathroom. I hopped in the shower and the steam from the water instantly calmed me down. I don’t know why I let these females get me caught up. I know I’m single and any other nigga in that position would have gladly taken what Rih was throwing. I didn’t want it though, at least not from her ass.
About twenty more minutes passed before Red was knocking at the door, claiming he had to shit. For his sake, I ended my shower when I possibly could have continued for another thirty minutes. I quickly put on my clothes, a simple pair of Levi’s with the Last Kings shirt my bro’ gave me for my birthday. I brushed my teeth and hair, putting on my Rolex and my chain. Once I was done, I finally stepped out of the bathroom.
"Move out my way nigga, taking all damn day," Red said as he pushed past me and ran into the bathroom, I couldn’t stop laughing.
"Yo Breezy, what you getting into today?" Big Pat asked as I sat down at the table, grabbing a banana from the basket.
"Not a damn thing, not trying to risk bumping back into her crazy ass." I winced as I repeated the scene back in my head. I came so close to doing something I knew I’d regret minutes after I did it.
"You trying to roll with me to get something to eat then? The girl I met at the club tryna’ meet us at the lil cafe down the street." he said as he kept his head down, focused on his phone.
"Nah, I’m goo-" As soon as I was about to decline, my stomach started gurgling and making all types of noises, I just knew Mijo had to hear it all the way in the back of the room. "Actually, I think I might have to step out with you for a minute dawg," I told him as I threw the rest of that nasty ass banana in the trash, it wasn’t satisfying my hunger anyway. I then got up to go get my phone off of the charger, and my wallet with all of my important shit in it.
"Where yall niggas going? I’m coming too!" Mijo said as he stepped all on the bed, trying to beat me to the door. I pulled him back by the hood on his sweater.
"Hell nah, stay here with Red punk ass and order room service," I wasn’t in the mood for him clowning around and asking questions, and especially disturbing Big Pat while he tried to put the mack down on his chick.
"Don’t mind if I do, nigga," he said as he flopped back down on the bed, picking up the hotel phone. I just shook my head as I followed Big Pat out of the room.
"Where Steve and Sev at?" I asked as we got into the truck with the driver Sevyn arranged us to have for the rest of our time out here.
"She said something about having other "business" to handle. She probably just trying to avoid Mijo ugly ass. And Steve still with his lil breezy from last night." I laughed as I thought about how hype Steve is going to be when he gets back to the hotel, he finally got some ass. I’m glad my niggas are enjoying themselves out here, that’s far from what I’m doing though, especially with Rih’s ass 3 doors down.
S E R E N I T Y: 2 days later
I called Big Pat and told him my plans. Once he got over the fact that he was hearing from me again, he directed me to some girl by the name of Sevyn. I knew about her but she was always so behind the scenes with everything, so we never really got the chance to meet or anything. She’s really nice though and she made this whole thing a lot easier than I thought it would be. I had a private jet waiting for me early this morning, that took me all the way to France with no problems. My room was set up once I got here not too long ago. Although Sevyn had taken care of everything, it still didn’t keep me from thinking I was making a mistake. However, after texting Big Pat back and forth, he helped me realize that I was doing what my heart told me was necessary and that for once, my brain wasn’t being the logical one.
After I stepped out of the shower the next morning, I pulled out my outfit for today’s activities. It’s rather hot in France but not as humid as it is back home. I decided on a pair of floral leggings, a simple v-neck and blazer, with a scarf. I threw on my black pumps and was finally satisfied when I looked in the mirror. I then pulled my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head and accentuated my eyes with a little mascara and eye shadow. I then colored my lips in with a soft pick shade.I finished off the look with the diamond earrings he gave me as a graduation gift with the “his and hers Rolex” watches that Wiz and Amber gave us a while back.
As I was checking myself out in the mirror, the hotel phone rang and I jumped over the bed to answer it before I missed the call.
"Hello?" I said as I sprayed on a little of my favorite perfume.
"Hey babygirl, you ready?" Big Pat asked.
"Yeah, I’m ready. Does he know?"
"Nah, he doesn’t have a clue…everyone helped keep it a secret. But look, we here at the art gallery, he whined like a big ass baby the whole way over here, he don’t want to do anything but sit in his damn room now."
"Thanks, I appreciate it Pat. Sevyn just text me though, my driver is outside. I’ll see you in a few," I told him before I hung up. I then grabbed my purse and my iPhone off of the charger before heading out of the door. I jumped on the elevator and as the doors began to close, I saw Mijo coming from a some girl’s room who had long, blonde and brown hair. I couldn’t be who I thought it was. I put my foot between the doors to keep them from closing. As I emerged back into the hallway, Mijo and I instantly laid eyes on each other…he looked like he had seen a ghost by the way he was looking back at me.
"Serenity? Wow, you look gorgeous, ma. What the hell you doing all the way out here though?" he asked as he ran to me, picking me up in his embrace. I just kept my eyes on the door he came out of.
"Thanks, and you can probably guess why I’m here, don’t tell your boy though. But uhm…was that who I think it is?" I asked as I pointed to her door.
"Yeah ma, but you have nothing to worry about. He and I both got her straight. Where you headed to?"
"Oh…okay. I’m headed to the art gallery." I looked down at my watch to see I was running late. "and I’m late, I’ll see you later Mijo," I said as I hugged him again then hopped back onto the empty elevator.
I practically ran to the car I was assigned and gave him the directions Sevyn gave me. Thankful for my participation in The National Honor Society for French and Spanish in high school, I was able to speak his language fluently and he easily understood.
About twenty minutes later we approached the building and I instantly got nervous as I text Pat, telling him I was here. I got out of the car and had to fight my way through the French paparazzi that obviously knew he was here. As I walked into the gallery and gave the clerk my name, she told me where the rest of my party was. I began to scan the gallery for them but I only heard their voices. I followed their voices until I managed to spot a head of blonde curls in a separate room. I took a deep breath and entered, the sound of my pumps hitting the marble floors, echoing through out the room. Sevyn and Big Pat turned around while he just sat on a bench, analyzing a rather sad and depressing painting.
"Welcome to Paris, France Serenity," Sevyn said as she walked towards me, hugging me. He just straightened up in his seat.
"That shit isn’t funny Sev," he said as he slowly and hesitantly turned around. Once our eyes met, his instantly got bigger from the surprise, while my eyes welled up with tears. It’s been a solid month since I’ve laid eyes on him in person.
"Me and Sevyn ain’t go through all of this trouble for yall to just look at each other," Big Pat said. He was right. I walked around the bench and stood in front of Chris, as he slowly stood up. He smiled at me, looking me over, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually here.
"Now, you not going to disappear into thin air, right before my eyes…are you?" he asked as he was about to touch my hand but hesitated. I shook my head as I walked closer to him, wiping the tears that were pooled under his eyes, I don’t even think he knew they were there.
"Serenity, I-I-I’m so glad you’re here ma. I’ve missed you so much. I know you thought I was going to forget about you once I got out here but I didn’t. I—"
"I love you too," I said as I cut off his rambling, placing a finger over his lips. He pushed a stray piece of hair from my bang, behind my ear. I instantly dropped my head as I felt myself blushing like this was my first time ever meeting him all over again. He then lifted my head up with a single finger under my chin. He bent his 6’3 stature down to my 5’7, so we were at the same eye level. He then smashed his lips against mine. At that moment, I felt complete. I felt all the pieces of the puzzle finally being found and put back in place. I felt my heart attaching itself back together as the missing piece had finally been added. I felt whole.
C H R I S:
My world was turned upside down before I saw her. As soon as I touched her, it flipped back to it’s upright position. My world wasn’t spinning before I saw her. It felt like I was living the same dreary ass day over and over again. As soon as I kissed her and held her in my arms, it started spinning again and the rain cloud above my head finally disappeared. I felt whole. I felt like the picture to this puzzle had finally become clear because I found the missing piece. I felt my heart beating again because without her, it stopped. I felt…complete.
S E R E N I T Y:
Being home in Louisiana these last few weeks have been everything I’ve needed and more. Ashley forgot to inform me that she moved out on her own as well, into a nice apartment downtown. I told her I was coming home and she instantly invited me to stay with her. Staying with Ashley still didn’t help me avoid the questions from my parents. “Where’s Chris? Are you guys still together? Did he hurt you?” I wasn’t going to give my dad the satisfaction of thinking his assumptions of Chris were right, because they weren’t. Chris isn’t a bad person, and that’s all I needed my dad to understand.
"Do you think you guys will ever get back together?" Macki asked as we lay across the floor, eating popcorn and watching movies.
"I don’t know, I can’t see the future. Now hush up and watch the movie," I said as I threw popcorn at her.
"She knows what she needs to do. She needs to go ahead and carry that ass on up to Paris and get her man back," Ashley stated loudly, turning off the movie I was clearly watching.
"That’s not going to happen. I’m telling you, once he gets to Paris…he’ll forget all about me."
"I don’t think so. Have you heard the interview he did with the radio station in Virginia a couple of days ago?" Macki said as she raced to get her laptop and sat back down beside me.
"No, but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Ni-Ni, just shut up and listen…damn." I did as I was told and listened as Chris’ voice filled the room. It almost gave me chills, it’s been a while since I’ve heard his voice, regardless of the CD I just bought. Being that we don’t talk on the phone, we just text each other on and off…I kind of forgot how…he sounded. I forgot how his voice use to be the only thing I ever looked forward to hearing after a long day at school or something. I can’t forget how bad I miss it though. :
"I’m glad to hear that. So Chris, are you in a relationship? I mean, I’ve seen you around with the cutest girl, she’s on your instagram and everything. Like, just keep it real with me right now homie."
"Nah, I’m single but…someone has my heart at the moment. And yes, that someone is the girl you’ve seen in the pictures."
"Well, why aren’t you guys together?"
"She’s going to school, my schedule is about to get crazy…she can probably find someone far better than I am anyway."
Once the recording ended, I looked up to see Ashley and Macki eyes fixed directly on me. I didn’t know what to tell them, simply because I didn’t know what to think.
"Ni-Ni, it’s so damn obvious that he loves you girl. I still don’t understand what he did so bad…to make you forget how much you love him," Ashley said. I still never told them exactly what Chris did. They believed the story I fed them that day, of how I was so intoxicated and somehow fell or hit myself, causing the swelling and bruising. I feel like they have a clue as to what really went down, they’re just waiting for me to tell them.
"The swelling…the bruises that night…were from him. I wasn’t drunk, he was. Now before you go thinking he’s the worst person in the world, don’t. It wasn’t until after the situation, that I found out what got him so angry. That still didn’t give him a right for doing what he did, but Chris isn’t capable of handling his anger very well while intoxicated. He’s getting help though, so don’t judge him, like I know you’re probably doing right now. I forgive him, that’s all that matters," I told them as tears threatened to escape my eyes. I expected them to be upset and start questioning why I didn’t tell them sooner but…they didn’t, they just smiled at me as they pulled me into a group embrace.
"I suspected that much but you’re right…as long as you forgive him, nothing else matters. It would be different if you didn’t love him and he didn’t love you, or if you both weren’t obviously hurting from the separation. But, you are! Ni-Ni, I swear if I hear that damn Fortune CD one more time, I’m going to break it in half…and just think about the next time Chris does an interview. You can tell he’s hurting, it’s all in his voice…I’ve always remembered him being so upbeat, I don’t get that vibe from him anymore. Like Ashley said, you know what you need to do mama." I just looked at Macki as she handed me a couple of tissues, my tears had finally escaped as I thought over her words. I just shook my head as I stood up from the floor and headed to the guest room, where I was staying.
"Where are you going?" They both asked at the same time.
"France, where else?" I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t know what I should expect, but I know I at least have to try, for my sake.
C H R I S :
The performance at the club last night, was insane. I didn’t expect so many people to come out but the club was packed from all four walls. I didn’t even know they had another line up besides me, Swizz Beats and Ludacris ended up rocking the show with me. Swizz and I performed our single in the making while Luda did his thing. I can honestly say, I enjoyed myself…without the use of any alcohol. I know Swizz and Luda probably thought I was going to be the life of the party and get the crowd all hyped up but, I was capable of doing that without being intoxicated. They offered bottle after bottle, and yet I still declined. The temptation of it all called my name but this time, I was strong enough to refuse.
"Aye Chris, wake yo’ blonde’ head ass up nigga," a familiar voice said as they swung my feet off of the bed, causing me to hit the floor. I got up ready to box with this nigga but when I looked up, I saw Mijo and Kid Red standing over me, laughing their asses off.
"My niggas! When did yall get here?" I asked as I hopped up from the floor, dapping them up. I was glad Mijo finally came back around. Nothing felt the same with him and Austin being mad at me and not being around, or at my mom’s house all day and night. I’m glad those fools finally forgave me.
"Not too long ago, I know you won’t about to head out to Milan and not invite a nigga," Red said as he sat down at the table, opening up the complimentary Champagne that’s been there, since I got here. I looked down at the clock beside my bed, it’s only 11 am. Whatever though, I wasn’t going to drink it.
"You been busy with yo’ own shit man, my bad though. Anyway, Mijo…where Sevyn at?" I asked as I began to look through my suitcases for something chill to wear today.
"Why would I know where the hell she is?" he asked as he helped himself to the food in the refrigerator, they haven’t been here for a good hour yet and already they running up my damn room bill.
"Nigga, we know! Stop acting like you didn’t hit that shit…more than once already!" Red said as he threw one of the oranges in the basket at Mijo, here they go fucking up the room now.
"Y’all don’t know shit, nosy asses."
"Yeah whatever man, just don’t fuck up and break her heart…then she decide she don’t want to be my assistant anymore, she’s the best one I’ve had so far."
"Man whatever, fuck yo’ franchise! Check this out though, you’ll never believe who’s here nigga, staying in the same hotel and everything, about three doors down." I stopped raiding my suitcases and looked at Mijo.
"Robyn." Red immediately spit out his champagne, choking on whatever was left. If I had been drinking anything, my reaction probably would have been the same.
"Rih? Are you serious? How’d you know?" I asked as I began to pace the floor.
"I saw her checking in, so I went over to her…I mean, just because you no longer fuck with her, doesn’t mean I have to. She told me she was staying here on "vacation" for like, two days. I asked her what room she was staying in. You’re in 203, she’s in 206."
"Did she ask what you were here for?"
"Of course she did, as if she didn’t already know. My guess is, if you don’t go down there, she’s coming up here, pretty soon actually." Fuck. This is not what I need right now. If it wasn’t for the club out in Milan, pushing the performance back a couple of days, I wouldn’t even be here right now to have to deal with this shit. She had to go snooping on my Instagram or Twitter, being that we don’t follow each other on either.
"Man, that bitch is psycho. I don’t see how you deal with it, I would’ve lost my mind by now," Red said as he finished off the last bit of Champagne in his glass. I just shook my head as I headed for the door to go to her room, we had to get shit settled, and get it settled now.
C H R I S:
I’m probably considered the world’s biggest creep now that I had my neighbor keep surveillance on the condo. I asked him to call me if he ever saw a black Range pull up into the driveway. I went to desperate measures just to see her. I just needed closure, that’s it. I was already 10 minutes away when I got the call so I sped to the condo and closure is finally what I got…what we both got. I couldn’t be upset with the way things ended, she loves me and she knows I love her, we ended on good terms and that’s more than I expected or even had the balls to ask for.
"Uhh….Chris?" Damn, I forgot where I was for a minute.
"Oh yeah, my bad TT. I zoned out. What was your question?" The album dropped today, even with all the shit I’ve been going through, it was only motivation to finish the album by the release date.
"It’s cool, you look tired man. Like, you haven’t slept in days." Little does she know, I haven’t.
"My question was, what can we expect from you on this album, Fortune?" she continued as she looked over the album artwork.
"Well personally, I think this is my best piece of work so far. I put everything I had into this album. Everything I do is always for my fans but I think this is the first album I also made for myself. I made songs that I wouldn’t mind hearing over and over on the radio, songs that I wouldn’t mind dancing to in the club. You know? All the songs are just….genuine to the person I am today and had a lot of hard work put into them."
"Okay, I can definitely respect that. The singles you’ve already released are crazy so I know the album is a banger!"
"Thanks TT, you always show love when I come through mama, I appreciate that."
"You know I got you Chris. Now look, if you’re just tuning in, this is TT and I have my homie Chris Brown in the building here at iPower92,1. Now Chris, you know we have to talk about it so let’s just do it and get it over with, alright? You + Drake + the same club + a couple of bottles…what was that all about?" I figured that question was coming.
"Yeah, that….that was just about me…being dumb. I don’t know how else to explain that one because…there’s really no explanation for it. I mean, I didn’t throw the first bottle but I didn’t have to throw the second bottle either. As for Drake, I’ve heard his interviews and everything but I’ll just leave it at this….I’m grown, he’s grown..we could’ve handled our disagreements better than the way we did. I sincerely apologize to those that got caught up in it and got hurt, it shouldn’t have went down like that."
"I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve seen the pictures of your body guard, he got hurt pretty badly in that. How is he?"
"Big Pat is doing just fine. He’s all healed and couldn’t be happier to come back to work." I looked over at Big Pat through the window as he shook his head in agreement.
"I’m glad to hear that. So Chris, are you in a relationship? I mean, I’ve seen you around with the cutest girl, she’s on your instagram and everything. Like, just keep it real with me right now homie." I knew this question was coming too.
"Nah, I’m single but…someone has my heart at the moment. And yes, that someone is the girl you’ve seen in the pictures."
"Well, why aren’t you guys together?"
"She’s going to school, my schedule is about to get crazy…she can probably find someone far better than I am anyway," that was only half of the truth but..I definitely meant what was said.
"I understand that. Man Chris, you’re always so humble and honest when you stop by and for that, we appreciate you baby. Now I know you probably have a million things to do but we thank you for coming through."
"Thanks for having me TT, and the rest of iPower92.1, I’ll be back soon…the next project is the tour so stay on standby for that. I love yall man, especially the fans. That’s why TT has about 50 copies of Fortune that are personally signed by me that she’s giving away later on today. I do this for yall man."
"That’s true ladies, I have 50..well 49 copies of Fortune signed by Breezy himself that I’ll be giving out in the next hour, stay tuned," TT said into her mic before she played Don’t Wake Me Up.
"You take care of yourself now, thanks again," she said as she hugged me. I dapped up and thanked all of the other people in the radio station then headed outside to where fans swarmed me. I signed a couple of copies of Fortune, gave out a couple of hugs, and took a couple of pictures before the alarm on my phone went off, indicating it was time to bounce and head to my private plane waiting for me in the Tapp. We finally made it to the car and headed South down the highway. I took out my phone and got on Instagram, looking at some of the pictures I had been tagged in recently. I found the picture TT and I took at the studio, I liked it then scrolled down to find some Fortune fan art, I liked those pictures too. I then scrolled down my newsfeed as I got another notification from someone tagging me in their pictures. I clicked it then realized it was from Serenity. I couldn’t help but smile as I read the caption under the picture of her holding her own copy of Fortune.
@serenitaaaay___: Just got the last one out here at Target in Louisiana. Hearing rave reviews about it already. I knew you could do it @chrisbrown. Forever #TeamBreezy (:
I liked the picture then commented: @chrisbrown: I appreciate you, so much ma.
I only commented on it because it wouldn’t be visible to anyone that she didn’t allow to follow her. The comment I left isn’t what I really wanted to say though. I wanted to tell her how much I’ve missed her, how bad I need her back in my arms, how much I still love her. It took everything in me to refrain from doing so. Space and time was all she asked for and I knew I had to give it to her. It’s only been three weeks since we ended things and it feels like a century.
"Yo Boss Man, Sevyn said she in the plane waiting on us, she not running late for once. We should be there in 10 minutes," Steve said as he eyed my reaction in the rear view mirror. I just shook my head. Sevyn is my new assistant and soon to be new artist under my label, whether she knows it or not. She did the background on a few tracks from the album and her voice is just too amazing to not be heard on her own single or something.
"Where we going again anyway, Breezy?" Big Pat asked.
"France, Paris and Milan. I’m performing at two of their night clubs, because I wasn’t able to make the birthday bash they wanted to throw for me, it’s my way of making up for it I guess." We soon pulled up to the parking lot where my private plane was waiting for us. The pilot helped Steve and Pat load our luggage as I boarded the plane. I grabbed a bottled water that sat beside a bucket with Champagne in it before sitting down beside Sevyn. She was so caught up in her emails that I don’t even think she realized we were here.
"Aye Sev, can you just relax for a few minutes. We have a long ass flight ahead of us, you can do your emails and shit some other time," I said as I closed her laptop and handed her another bottle of water.
"Chris, you won’t be saying that when you arrive to Paris and the shit for your performance isn’t ready, let me do my job please," she said as we all settled down in our seats, buckling up and preparing for takeoff.
"Why you so salty? Damn, it’s not even 5:00 yet and you stressin’. It’s because of Mijo, huh?" she probably didn’t think I figured out that those two had something going on. It was all so obvious though, if they didn’t want anyone to know…they had to do a better job of concealing that shit.
"Mijo? What? No, it’s the fact that all these damn wedding planners keep calling and emailing me when I told them I no longer needed their services. I wish I did but…I don’t, do I?" she said as she took off her sunglasses and looked at me, like she was disappointed in me.
"Nah, you don’t. At least, not right now. And, don’t look at me like that either. I’m working on this shit, I promise you…I really am."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…ayo’ Breezy, you think you gon’ need us a lot out there though? Shit, I’m trying to find me a freak from France!" Big Pat said as he raided the mini-fridge, finally finding a piece of cake he was satisfied with.
"You a fool nigga, but I mean…you remember how crazy it was last time. I’ll make sure I set time aside so you can find you a freaky French chick."
"Yall are disgusting," Sevyn said as she got up and went to the other side of the plane, I guess so she could concentrate on her "assistant/manager" duties.
"My nigga! I’m pretty sure you gon’ get all the hoes out there though, ain’t gon be none left for me and Steve," Pat continued as he bit into his cake.
"Nah, that’s one thing you don’t have to worry about pimp," I reassured him.
"Why not, I thought you and Ni-Ni were…over?"
"We are but, I just don’t have the desire to be with anyone else. Is that cool with you, nigga?"
"But you had the desire to be with someone else while you were with her? You one backwards ass nigga Breezy."
"Yeah, foreal man. I miss Ni-Ni being around. Why’d you have to go and fuck that up?" Steve said as he raided the mini-fridge for a snack as well. These niggas were beginning to piss me off.
"Look, yall not about to question me on shit that doesn’t concern yall, on this 15 hour flight. Steve, continue snacking with yo’ hungry ass and Pat, shut the hell up or take a damn nap, just stop fucking with me." They probably continued to say some slick shit but I tuned them out with my music and Beats by Dre headphones. To occupy my time, I decided I’d shoot Serenity a text. We’ve been texting on and off lately, just about simple shit…like, how our day has been, the bullshit we encountered during the day or what we ate for dinner…I didn’t care what we were talking about, just as long as we were keeping an open line of communication…as friends.
Me (5:45): Wassup Ni-Ni
Ni-Ni (5:55): Hey Christopher
Me (5:57): What you up to?
Ni-Ni(6:01): I’m just chilling, listening to Fortune. You out did yourself homie.
Me(6:04): I appreciate it ma. Got a favorite song yet?
Ni-Ni(6:10): Wait For You, it’s been on repeat since I got the deluxe edition
Me(6:12): That’s a coincidence
Ni-Ni(6:14): How so?
Me(6:16): It was inspired by you.
Ni-Ni(6:20): Really? Macki tried to tell me it was but, I didn’t believe her. Any other songs about me?
Me(6:22): A couple of em but, I’ll let you figure that out for yourself
Ni-Ni(6:25): Challenge accepted. What are you up to tho Brown?
Me(6:27): On the plane, heading to Paris for the week.
Ni-Ni(6:30): Ooooh, that sounds fun
Me(6:32): Ha, hardly
Ni-Ni(6:34): how come?
Me(6:35): You’re not going to be with me.
Ni-Ni(6:38): You’ll find some exotic chick out there and forget all about me lol. I’ll ttyl though, heading out with Macki and my sister.
That was just like her to say some shit like that before ending the conversation, so I really couldn’t respond. It bothered me that she thought a week in France could make me forget about her that quickly. Nah, it’ll probably make me think about her even more. Which sucks, because I’m supposedly going out there to have fun, I’m performing at two night clubs…two separate nights, in two different cities. This is almost every celebrity’s dream…but right now, it’s not my dream. I’d rather be back at the condo, hugged up with Serenity…with a wedding band secured tightly around my finger.
C H R I S B R O W N:
Regardless of what is going on in my personal life, I still have a job to do. The media doesn’t give a damn about the fact that my world is literally crashing down all around me. I haven’t lay eyes on or even talk to Serenity in 5 days, the shit was beginning to get to me. No one gives a fuck about that though. The record company keeps calling, my manager keeps booking interviews and shit, while my days grow longer and fucking harder to deal with. I can’t even step foot into our condo because all it does is make me realize how much of a dumb ass I really am. Why do I fuck up the things that are actually going well in my life? I was so close to happiness with Serenity. I even had my new assistant start hitting up some of the best wedding planners around, just to see where Serenity and I were heading next. This shit isn’t easy, I think the only reason I’m dealing with it is because of my mother. She’s always been my rock and she holds me down through whatever. That’s more than I can say for anyone else though. Mijo and Austin won’t even come back over here like they usually do. They say they’re tired of me fucking things up with the coolest girls they’ve ever seen me with. Like, I’m doing this shit on purpose. I swear I’m not. But, I understand their view on it…I’m supposed to be a role model for Austin and I swear that nigga has more sense than I do at 15.
"Chris! Come down here! You have company!" My mother yelled from the bottom steps. I didn’t even hear the doorbell, nor did I hear anyone talking downstairs…but for some reason, I just knew it was Serenity. I jumped up out of bed, threw on a shirt and sped down the steps.
"Serenity, I’m so—" I said as I came around the corner into the kitchen, it wasn’t who I wished it was. My attitude quickly changed as my mom left the room to let us talk alone. Fuck.
"What’s up Tiff?" I asked her as I sat down at the kitchen table. She did the same and sat down in front of me, tears were already staining her cheeks. The fuck did I do to her now?
"Chris, I can’t take this any longer. I don’t want you to get hurt. I have to tell you before it gets out of hand, I’m not sure what they’ll do anymore," she started rambling faster than I could comprehend.
"Whoa, wait..Tiff! Calm down, speak slowly…what are you talking about?" I asked her.
"The shooting at the club, the calls..the messages, everything…it’s all because of me. Chris before you get upset—" Too late.
"Man, what the fuck? Tiffany, why the fuck would you add this extra stress in my life? Do know what it’s caused me? I lost my fiance` from this shit! Why? Man, I don’t get you!" I said as I pushed away from the table. About to head back up stairs, she quickly caught my arm.
"Just listen for a minute! I’m sorry, okay? I was just upset and when I told Kevin everything that happened…so was he. He said he was just going to get his friends to scare you, rough you up a little bit…and at the time, it was satisfying because I was so angry with you. Now, it’s just all too much and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I asked Kevin to call it off, I’m praying that he does but I just wanted to come over and tell you so if it doesn’t stop…you aren’t caught of guard. He promised, he promised he would put a stop to it though." I looked at her like she was crazy. She is crazy. I just hope my daughter isn’t as crazy as she is. In 3 months, none of that will even matter. I’m debating on even telling my daughter who her mother is when she’s old enough to start questioning it.
"Man, fuck all of that. Those niggas can try me again if they want to, and I promise I’m going to jail…let your lil OKC nigga know that. Also, I’m calling up my assistant as soon as you leave to get this custody case going. I want you and Kevin to have the perfect little life without my joy, being my daughter…being your burden. I want full custody of her, and I know you don’t give a shit about her anyway…so let’s not make this court case a difficult one, alright?" She just shook her head, she understood…she understood everything well, and she knew I was far from playing or joking about this shit.
"Good, you can let yourself out," I said as I made my way upstairs. I heard her sniffing as she made her way out the door. For the first time since she threw it at my feet, I took the ultrasound video off of the dresser and put it in the DVD player. It only took seconds before the room was filled with a heartbeat. My daughter’s heartbeat.
"I have no doubt that you’ll make a good father Chris," my mother said as she walked into my room, sitting down beside me. She probably heard the whole conversation with Tiffany…the first time anyone besides Serenity knew that I wanted full custody of my child.
"You think I’m doing the right thing?" I asked her, looking up at her…she was smiling from ear to ear.
"I know you’re doing the right thing," she said as she hugged me.
"I know so too," The heartbeat grew louder and at one point, it even felt like it was the same rhythm as mine. Like, we became one. I felt so connected to her already. I know from this point on, I need to get my shit together so I can be the best father I’m capable of being…better than my father ever was.
S E R E N I T Y:
My weekend with Delano wasn’t one I expected. I told myself I was just going to sleep on the couch and do very minimum talking with him. My plan failed. I did sleep on the couch, but each night..I found him sleeping on the floor beside me, not wanting to sleep in his bed because he offered it to me. It was hard to stay so guarded around him, I found myself laughing with him one minute then having a deep conversation with him the next. He wasn’t the same person I met in Louisiana. He was so much better, in fact…he made me want to be better. He prayed before he went to bed, when he woke up, and over his food..he was able to quote scriptures from the bible that I didn’t even know existed. My mother was always the religious one in the family but I couldn’t stand her church…it was a building full of Christians but they all seemed to judge me for not being the same race as my mom when I walked in. Once I got old enough, my mom told me it was my decision on whether or not I wanted to go on Sundays…and I chose not to. Delano was able to persuade me to get dressed and go to a small church with him back in Richmond. One of his friends on the football team invited him a couple of months back and he said he never felt so much at home. I felt exactly what he was talking about too. The service was uplifting and after being prayed over…I felt stronger than I ever had. I shed so many tears by the end of service that I don’t think I was able to produce anymore. I just felt…washed clean of everything. Everything I’ve done wrong and everything someone has ever done wrong to me. I was completely free. Now I see how easy it was for Delano to change so quickly and remain the new man he has become.
"Are you coming to graduation?" Delano said as we walked back into his apartment. I came out of my heels and blazer at the door, I was so uncomfortable in that outfit.
"Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss Macki graduating for the world," I told him as I sat down on the couch, he soon sat down beside me.
"You staying with your parents when you go down there?"
"Nah, I plan on going back to my condo in a few to pick up the rest of my things…including my purse with my credit cards. I should be able to rent a hotel or something. I can’t see myself living with my parents again, not even for a couple of days."
"Why not just stay at my house for the few days you’re out in Louisiana? I mean, my dad wouldn’t mind and it’s a lot cheaper than a hotel room."
"I’ll think about it, thanks though. I’m going to go change into something more comfortable then head to my condo. I should be back in like..an hour," I said as I started to walk back to Delano’s bedroom to get my clothes out of the little drawer I was designated.
"Wait, I can’t come with you?" he asked as he caught up to me.
"I mean, you can, that’ll probably be a good idea…so you can help carry my things back to the car," I teased him. I then went to the back and found a pair of leggings, my Jordan’s, and a simple shirt. I found my keys, picked up my phone, then waited for Delano to get dressed into something more comfortable.
"Oh my gosh, just find something to wear! It’s not that hard!" I joked after 10 minutes of waiting.
"Oh hush up man, I’m ready. Let’s go, ma," he said as we made our way to my car.
About an hour later, we pulled up to the empty condo I once shared with the love of my life. As I unlocked the door, so many memories came rushing back at once. Everything so far was almost exactly how I left it. The glass from the Ciroc bottle on the kitchen floor was still there, it looked like he attempted to pick it up but quickly got distracted.
"Wow, what happened here?" Delano said as he followed me into the kitchen. My eyes were already stinging from the tears I did my best to hold back, so I couldn’t even turn around to face him, and explain. I walked away from him, and wandered into the office where I was caught off guard by the condition the office was in, I didn’t leave it this way. I looked around and noticed several pictures of Chris and I…shattered along the desk, pieces of glass lingering the floor. I found the watch I gave him for Christmas, on the floor, in the corner by another Ciroc bottle…this one was untouched, it hadn’t been opened. The effort I was giving into not crying, quickly failed as I dropped my head in my hands and silently cried to myself in the office chair.
"Yo, Ni-Ni…I apologize babygirl, you definitely don’t deserve this…any, of this," Delano said as he came over to me, clearing glass off of the desk then sitting on top of it.
"I mean, I know I’m not one to talk but—" Delano was suddenly cut off by the sound of keys jingling, unlocking the front door.
"Serenity!?" he called from the living room, he knew I was here…obviously my car and license plate gave it away. He called my name multiple more times before he finally emerged into the office. Delano became stiff, shoving his hands into his pockets as Chris came near us.
"I’m just going to pretend like I don’t see this nigga in my house right now," Chris said as he moved around Delano and stood in front of me.
"But I am here, get over yourself nigga," Delano said. To avoid the situation escalating, I hopped up from my seat and stood in between them.
"Man, whatever…Ni-Ni I’m glad you’re here baby, can we go talk outside…on the balcony?" Chris said as he held my hand, trying to lock his fingers between mine. I quickly let go of it and marched my way to the bedroom, to pack my things. I found another suitcase of mine and began throwing my clothes and shoes in it.
"Serenity, please…I’m begging you. I just want to talk," he said again as he opened the door to the balcony of what use to be "our" bedroom. My mind told me not to go out there, but my heart lead my feet to the door.
"Okay, I’ll start. First of all, I sincerely apologize ma. Words can’t express how sorry I am. I never meant to put my hands on you or hurt you the way that I did, you know it never would have come to that if I was in the right state of mind…not under the influence. I learned that over and over in anger management classes, and then over again at the recent Triple A meeting I went ahead and attended…"A stands for Alcohol, A also stands for being Aggressive when under the influence." I know the slogan, I know it all too well. I let the stress of the situation with those niggas fucking with me, get to me…it got the best of me, I won’t lie. I guess that’s what Tiffany wanted when she arranged it all—"
"Whoa, you mean to tell me Tiffany is responsible for the shooting at the club…all the harrassing phone calls and text messages?" I asked him while he was in mid-sentence.
"Yeah, she came over not too long ago and told me. That’s no excuse for how I treated you though. I know I don’t deserve to have you back, at least not right now but I can assure you that my momma got me in training, getting me ready for the day when I make somebody happy," I couldn’t help but smile at the way he quoted his own lyrics from a song way back in his earlier years, my favorite years as a fan.
"Wow, I’ve missed your smile," he continued. "I know I almost took all of it, but I hope you find your joy with Delano or whoever else you decide to replace me with ma."
"Chris, regardless of what’s happened….no one can ever take your place. I love you, so much…and I probably always will. Right now, I just need to get myself together and focus on making myself happy for once. Who knows what the future holds for us but as of now, what we have is shattered…just like the picture frames in the office. There are so many pieces to pick up and put back together that, there’s no clear starting place to make progress from yet. I don’t think asking to be friends is too much of a stretch but if that will only make this harder for you to deal with then, I understand," I told him as tears began to escape their way down my face again. I have no words to express how bad I’m hurting. I don’t think he realizes it either.
"No, being friends isn’t a stretch at all. I’d rather have you in my life as a friend instead of nothing at all. As much as I wanted this to work, things from my past continued to haunt me and get in the way and for that, I really am sorry Serenity. I’m going to work on me, I promise…and maybe one day I’ll be the man you need, without all the baggage and shit I brought to our relationship. I love you baby girl, I’m always here if you ever need anything." He wrapped me in his arms and planted a kiss on my lips. I didn’t want this moment to end but I knew it had to.
"Come on, tell ya boy the coast is clear and he can help you pack. I need to head to this meeting with my management team for this tour. Take care though ma," he said as he hugged me once again before leaving. I watched my best friend walk right out of the door. Chris is the first guy I can truly say I fell in love with. Despite the bumps in the road, he taught me how to love…especially how to love myself. Saying goodbye is killing me.
S E R E N I T Y:
I stayed at Macki and Ashley’s hotel for the rest of that night after I said goodbye to Mama J, Austin, and Mijo. Their flight left early this morning to head back to Louisiana so as of now, I have nowhere else to go. I can’t go back to Mama J’s house because Chris will most likely be there. Macki and Ashley kept questioning me about the bruises and swelling but I didn’t feel like talking and I knew Ashley would drive miles to find Chris if I told her how I got them. I left my credit card in my other purse…at the house and I knew I couldn’t go back to get it with the rest of my things, at least not right now. I didn’t want to go home to Louisiana yet either, I’ve been so use to be being on my own with Chris that living under my parent’s roof again would drive me crazy. As I sat in my car in Tropical Smoothie’s parking lot, I pulled out my phone and called someone I never thought I’d call again in a million years. I was hesitant to speak as he answered the phone.
“Yo, Serenity…is this really you ma?” he said into the phone. It felt like I was choking on my words, I couldn’t get anything out so…I did the next best thing, I ended the call. I threw my phone in the passenger seat and drove out of the parking lot. I didn’t know where I was going but I hopped on the highway, heading South. About 10 minutes later, my phone rang. It was him.
“Hello? Serenity? Please! Don’t hang up!” he said, I was silent for a while…I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you,” I lied. I did mean to call him…why, I don’t know.
“Well I’m glad you did by accident. It’s crazy because, I know you’re out here in Virginia and so am I. No, I’m not stalking you but the coach from Virginia State University gave me an offer for football, despite what I did…so I’m down here, checking out the campus and everything, then I’ll go check out my apartment. Listen, I’m so glad you called…I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but I promise you I’m not the same guy you left knowing. If you just give me thirty minutes of your time, I can explain everything to you. Please, if you don’t mind…can you meet me here, on campus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea—“
“Serenity, I’m begging you…please?” I thought it over for a minute. If I was still with Chris, I would’ve said no…so I wouldn’t cross that boundary or disrespect him the way he’s disrespected me. But, I’m not with Chris and I mean…he sounded genuine so…letting him explain himself couldn’t mess anything up more than it already is.
“Fine. I’ll be there in about an hour,” I told him.
“Whew, thank you so much. I’ll see you soon,” he said before he hung up. I was quickly approaching the interstate exit I needed to take to get to VSU. I had to fight traffic to let me over for about 10 minutes, okay I was going to need about an hour and 20 minutes to get there now.
D E L A N O:
I was so surprised when I saw her name pop up on the screen of my phone. I’ve always kept her number in my contacts, but by now I thought she would have changed her number or at least deleted mine and had it blocked. She text me five minutes ago, telling me she was around the corner. I instantly got nervous, I had no idea how this was going to turn out. I just think God has afforded me another opportunity to make things right with her, so I’m definitely going to take advantage of it. I pray that he gives me all the right things to say, so she knows how genuine I am.
“Hey,” I heard her say from behind me. I braced myself for whatever lashing out she was about to give me, I know I deserve it.I was hesitant to turn around so I just motioned for her to sit down next to me on the bench. She did, and I finally saw her for the first time in like…5 or 6 months. Despite the bruises I saw on her arms and the swelling on her face, she’s absolutely beautiful. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun on her head, she wore leggings, a v-neck, jean jacket, and Jordan’s. It was simple but she took my breath away. I noticed she’s slimmed down….a lot in the past months. That wasn’t what made her beautiful though,she was perfect the way she was in my eyes…I just let society keep me from letting her know that.
“Hey. What’s up ma?” I asked her as I hugged her, she tensed up at my touch…like she didn’t want to be touched or she felt pain when I held her like that.
“Wait, what’s with all the bruises…you fall or something on your way over here?” I said, trying to lighten up the mood, hopefully making her laugh. She giggled but, it wasn’t what I was hoping for.
“Look, you asked for thirty minutes…you’ve used up 10 minutes already, questioning me about my bruises and shit,” she said as she slid a few inches away from me. She was right, I needed to get what I had to say out…I just didn’t know how to start.
“Okay I understand ma. Look, what I did to you was wrong. I mean, it was dead wrong and I beat myself up over it every day of my life. I know you said you forgive me that day at the hospital but…for some reason I didn’t want you to. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I feel like I never will. But, Serenity…like I said before, I’m not the same guy that you met in Louisiana. I don’t know how much this means to you but I’ve turned my life over to God…I realized that I wasn’t living right. The path I was taking…was a path straight to hell and I was taking all of my friends with me, being as I had so much influence over them. I’m saved now and I’ve tried to get my friends on board with me but that connection with God has to happen…when the individual wants it to happen. I swear to you, I got up one morning…my Dad dragged me to church and I came home a different man. I
know you may not believe me and you have every right not to, but getting saved can happen just that quick. I can never make up for what I did to you but I want you to understand how genuinely sorry I really am. Serenity, I apologize for what I did to you and everything it may have caused, ma…I put that on everything I love.” I searched her expression to give me a hint of what she could possibly be thinking. I don’t know what I want to come out of this meeting with her today. Hopefully, we can leave here on good terms and actually be friends but…if not, I understand why that’s not possible.
“Wow, I was wondering why you sounded so different on the phone. I’m not used to hearing you speak without at least 2 to 3 curse words in one sentence,” she said as she playfully pushed me. “No but really, when I told you I forgave you in the hospital…Delano, I really did mean it. I was so done with being angry at you, it only made the healing process harder for me.I’ve moved on from what happened and so should you, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do that night. Although your reasons for doing it were completely different from mine, you didn’t force anything on me. So, let’s just start over…you know? Let’s move on from the past,” she said as she stuck her hand out, for me to shake it. I pushed it out of the way and hugged her again. I never expected her to be so cool with everything, God really did make everything work out in my favor today.
"Okay seriously, you and your bear hugs have got to stop…I’m in so much pain right now,” she said as she eased out of my arms and got up from the bench. I followed her and we began walking the campus of VSU.
“So, you going to tell me how you really got all those bumps and bruises? I remember you being clumsy but…never this clumsy,” I told her. Before she responded, she took a deep breath and seemed to meditate on her answer.
“Chris,” she said as she gently folded her arms over her chest.
“Wait, what? You mean to tell me, the swelling on your cheek…is from him too?” She just shook her head and stopped dead in her tracks as she began to cry. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, I mean I could but…that’s something you pray never happens to someone you love. I prayed nightly that Serenity was being treated way better than I treated her, she deserves to be treated like the queen she is. Although what I did was just as horrible, I wouldn’t dare think about putting my hands on her, or any female for that matter.
“First he cheats on you, and now he’s beating on you? What else do you think is next?” I asked her.
“Nothing is next, we were engaged but…I gave him the ring back and I plan on moving out of our house soon. I just need to find somewhere else to stay for the time being, somewhere he can’t find me.”
“That’s why you called me, isn’t it? It wasn’t a mistake….was it?”
“No, it wasn’t a mistake. I just had no one else to turn to. I thought you’d be in Louisiana. I don’t want to stay with my parents and Macki’s house is too crowded to stay with her. I don’t have any money because I left my credit card in a purse that’s at our house and I just…I don’t know, I was desperate.”
“Well if you really do need a place to stay, my apartment is like…right around the corner. It isn’t all fancy like what you’re probably use to but it’s decent. I’m staying here the weekend and then I’ll head back to Louisiana to get ready for graduation. If you want, you can stay there as long as you like…I can go to Home Depot and make another key for you and everything.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t. I mean, we’re grown Serenity. I know we aren’t go to be like…best friends by tomorrow but you need help and I’m in the perfect position to help you…I don’t mind. Put everything else aside and just come to the realization that this is your cheapest route and safest route, he won’t have a clue as to where you are.”
“I guess you’re right. Is there any way we can go there now…I could really use a nap,” she said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.I couldn’t help but laugh, everything was already turning around. She was becoming the goofy, “happy go lucky,” Serenity I remember her being before she got involved with two idiots that took all of that away from her. I’ll do anything to make her smile again, to make her shine again.
“Haha, come on kid. We’re going to have to ride in your car because I walked from my apartment, here…yeah, that’s how close it is,” I told her as I put my arm around her shoulder and followed her to the car. Man, God moves in mysterious ways. He knew how bad I was beating myself up over this…I didn’t have any closure. He gave me the chance I needed to explain myself and I know I didn’t win her back as a friend completely, I did however, get my point across. She sees the new man I’ve become, and that’s all I ever really wanted.
C H R I S B R O W N:
I woke up to a silent home and an excruciating headache. I couldn’t remember a damn thing from last night after rushing home from the club. I damn sure couldn’t remember how I got on the kitchen floor and managed to sleep here through the night. The amount of alcohol I ingested in one night, shouldn’t be ingested over a week. Shit, I was afraid to open up my eyes, I knew the light would just make my headache worst. So I felt around on the floor, trying to steady myself so I could get up without opening my eyes. I felt something sharp cut my hand and my eyes instantly flicked open to the sight of blood trickling down my wrist. I looked down at the floor and saw a bottle that belonged to me, smashed to pieces all over the floor, but what I couldn’t figure out was how it got there. I noticed I obviously didn’t get to finish drinking it before it fell because I stood in a puddle full of liquor. I decided I should clean up the mess before Ni-Ni woke up and had a heart attack over the mess I made. I turned around and walked to the closet in the kitchen to get the broom and mop. The first step I took, my foot landed on something hard and I heard whatever it was, crack. I picked my foot up and couldn’t believe my damn eyes. What the fuck was this doing on the floor and not on her hand? I bent down to pick it up and saw that the whole band was bent.
"Serenity! Come here girl!" I called into the bedroom as I tried to fix the frame of the ring..it was no use.
"Serenity!" I yelled again. Still didn’t get an answer. I got up and marched my way into our bedroom, I looked at the bed where I was sure I’d find her…but she wasn’t there. I put the ring on the dresser and went to the bathroom, maybe she was there. I opened the door, checked the shower..no sign of her. Before I knew it, I checked all 8 rooms in this damn house, and still didn’t find her. I went back into the room and checked the dresser…all of her stuff was gone. I went and checked the closet, she left all the clothes in the closet but took all of her shoes. Where the fuck is she? I did the next best thing and took my phone off of the charger to call her. It rung twice before I was sent to voicemail, either her phone was off or she sent me to voicemail on purpose. What the fuck happened? What the fuck did I do to make her pack her shit and leave…without telling me a damn thing. I mean, I remember the incident at the club and all but everything else after that is blurry as fuck in my mind. I just thought I passed out on the floor and she chose to let me stay there to teach me a lesson but…I still don’t know why she actually left. Shit, I grabbed my phone and keys and hauled ass out of the door. I made my way to my car and found on one of my windows busted, with a brick and a note attached to it in the seat. I picked up the note and read it quickly.
"Brown, you slipping up man. I don’t think the world is going to get to hear that album you working on bruh, if they do..it’ll be after your fucking funeral."
I didn’t even have time to think twice about that damn note. I cleared all the glass out of the seat and hopped in, speeding towards my mom’s house. It took me less than 10 minutes to get there and it would have taken me 20 to get there if I was doing the speed limit.
"Mama! Mama! Mama!" I yelled as soon as I unlocked the door to her place.
"Chris! Bring your high yellow ass up here, right now!" my mom said from upstairs. I ran up the flight of step and over to her.
"Ma, you seen or heard from Serenity?" I asked her, trying to catch my breath. She sniffed me and held her nose, making a face.
"You smell like you took a bath in alcohol and what the hell happened to you? Where is this blood from?" she asked. I forgot I wiped the blood from my hand on my white shirt.
"It’s nothing. Ma, have you seen or heard from Serenity? Please, I need to know!"
"Yes, I sure did. She came over here at 2am…to say goodbye to Mijo, Austin, and I. Now, I don’t know where she’s going or why but I noticed the bruises on her arms, and how swollen her cheek was. Christopher Maurice Brown, did you put your hands on that girl? No, I know you did…my question is why did you put your hands on that girl?"
"Wait, what? You don’t know where she’s going? Where’s Mijo and Austin?" I said as I ran down the hall to look into their rooms. My mom quickly caught up to me.
"They aren’t here, mainly because they knew this would be the first place you’d look for her and they couldn’t stand to see your face. Now answer my question Chris!" Her eyes were wide and serious, she wanted an answer I couldn’t give.
"Ma, I don’t remember much from last night…I swear I don’t. But, if you say you saw swelling on her face and bruises on her arms then it only makes sense, that’s why she left and I found her engagement ring on the kitchen floor," I said as I sat down on the floor, letting my head drop to my hands.
"I would tell you to get in your car and go all around Virginia to find her, I’d tell you to call everyone she knows and see if they’ve heard from her. I’d tell you to go find her and get her back but honestly, you don’t deserve to have her back. Chris, she’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you found a way to mess it up for yourself. I love Serenity, I loved having her around but…she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way Chris."
"Mom, don’t you think I know that! I’ve tried so damn hard to give her everything she could ever want. The finest house on the block, the finest clothes, shoes, jewelry, her own hair and makeup stylist. I guess I forgot about the one thing she needs most…love. And mom, I swear for the life of me…I tried…I tried to forget my past and live in the present, focusing on my future with her but so much shit comes back to haunt me."
"That’s because you’ve never completely dealt with it. Yeah, you sat through a couple anger management classes but you did it just so you wouldn’t end up in prison. You weren’t there with an open mind and open heart like I prayed you would be. Maybe before you get in another relationship, you need to work on yourself. Chris, I’m your mother and baby I know when you’ve reached rock bottom and Lord knows I’ve done my best to prevent this but…I guess it had to happen. Come on back home baby, so we can work on fixing this together. Just give Serenity some space for now. If she loves you, and I mean really…loves you. She’ll be back, she’s crazy if she comes back but if she loves you, she will. Hopefully by then, you’ll be the man that deserves her love…and you’ll know how to properly love her back." That was just like Mama, helped me pick up the pieces and sort them out…helping me put together half of the puzzle, but leaving me to figure the other half out by myself.